


But Home Is Nowhere

by with_bleeding_hands



Category: Incredibles (Pixar Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bathing/Washing, Bisexual Helen "Elastigirl" Parr, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Gentle Sex, Internalized Homophobia, Jewish Character, Judaism, Loss of Powers, Neck Kissing, Nipple Play, Overly Caffeinated Disaster Lesbian Evelyn Deavor, Prayer, Sleeping Together, עברית | Hebrew
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:22:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22162486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/with_bleeding_hands/pseuds/with_bleeding_hands
Summary: When Helen loses her superpowers to a villain's ray gun, she winds up staying with Evelyn, and feelings that both women have been suppressing or ignoring begin to bubble to the surface.
Relationships: Bob "Mr. Incredible" Parr/Helen "Elastigirl" Parr, Evelyn Deavor/Helen "Elastigirl" Parr
Comments: 19
Kudos: 127





	1. Fainting Spells

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is actually the culmination of several fic ideas I've had for a while, including an expansion of "Denial, Revisited."

Helen Parr struggled for breath, her vision beginning to blur. “I don’t want to die,” she got out, her voice weak.

“No one does,” came Evelyn Deavor’s dismissive voice. “But don’t worry.” She knelt and cupped Helen’s chin in one hand. “You’re just too pretty for me to let you die.”

Helen was unable to struggle as Evelyn dragged her forward, dropping her in the co-pilot’s seat. She tried and failed to sit up as she felt something thin and cold, like a metal cable, wrap around her wrists, then her ankles. She tried to fight against the bonds, but a sharp electrical shock ran through the cable, jolting her and knocking her back into the seat. She gasped, her vision coming back. She sucked in deep lungfuls of air, realizing dimly that Evelyn must have turned the oxygen back on. She managed to turn her head toward the pilot’s seat, catching sight of Evelyn pulling her oxygen mask off.

“What…?” Helen began.

Evelyn cut her off. “You can relax and enjoy the flight now.” She leaned over and strapped Helen into the co-pilot’s seat. Helen struggled against the cable tying her, only to be shocked again. “Ah-ah-ah,” Evelyn cautioned. “I said relax. I came up with those cables before I decided to use sub-freezing temperatures to make sure you couldn’t stretch.”

“What are you doing?” Helen whispered.

“I have special plans for you, Elastigirl,” said Evelyn with a teasing smile. She sat back down in the pilot’s seat.

Helen tried to say something, but her head was spinning again. She slumped over in her seat and everything went black.

-

When Helen swam back into consciousness, her head still ached and her eyelids felt heavy. She struggled to open her eyes and to will her limbs to move, and slowly she began to get her bearings. She was lying on a quilt, which was on a bed, and though she had been restrained when she had passed out, she was no longer tied up. She tried to stretch and found that her elasticity was still slightly impaired from the electric shocks, but she could already tell that her powers would return fully soon.

As she struggled to sit up, Evelyn Deavor walked into the room. She was dressed in casual clothes and her hair was as messy as Helen ever remembered seeing it, but the permanently tired look was gone from her face. In its place was a cold blankness. “You’re awake,” said Evelyn in a voice drained of emotion.

“What is the meaning of this?” Helen demanded in a low voice, her hands curling into fists.

Evelyn sat down on the corner of the bed, facing away from Helen, her shoulders slumped. “Just saw the news,” said Evelyn, her voice still robotic. “Superheroes and all of their destructive bullshit are still legal.” She inhaled deeply. “You know, I really thought it would work. I really thought everyone would finally get their heads on straight. But no. Now there’s going to be more destruction. More property damage. More civilian casualties. More dead parents.” Evelyn pushed a hand through her hair.

“And what, you decided to kidnap me as...revenge for that?” Helen asked, her voice angry, belying the fact that she felt completely mystified.

“Nah.” Evelyn still wouldn’t look at Helen. “I’m done.”

She sounded done. Helen had never heard her sound so weary or emotionless. “So am I leaving here now that whatever your plan was isn’t happening?”

“Oh, you can go,” said Evelyn, swiveling so she was sitting facing Helen. “If you sleep with me.”

Helen only didn’t slap Evelyn because she was so startled. “And if I say no?”

Evelyn shrugged. “Then I guess you get to go home earlier.”

Helen didn’t have a quick response to that. “...what?”

“What’s the fun in being with someone who’s not invested?” said Evelyn bleakly, a small, sardonic smile on her face.

Helen moved to stand up, but her head began spinning again and she listed to the side, catching herself on her hands. It was just then that she noticed that her throat was painfully parched and dry.

“Oh, shit,” said Evelyn, and there was emotion in her voice for the first time since Helen had woken up. “You’ve been hypnotized since...shit. You need food and water. Lie down. I’ll bring you something.”

“What makes you think I’d eat or drink anything you would give me?” Helen got out, but Evelyn was already out of the room. Helen was still conscious, but woozy and extremely thirsty when Evelyn reentered the room carrying a tray. On it was a tall glass of water, an empty glass, and a granola bar in a wrapper. Evelyn set the tray down, poured a small amount of the water into the empty glass, and drank it. She then opened the granola bar, broke off a small piece, and ate that. Understanding that Evelyn had just demonstrated that neither the food nor the water was poisoned, Helen moved over to the tray, picked up the glass of water, and drank deeply.

“You’ll want to slow down,” said Evelyn. “If you drink water too fast, it won’t hydrate you as well as possible.”

“I didn’t know you were a doctor,” Helen quipped.

“I have a doctorate in electrical and computer engineering,” Evelyn retorted, “but I studied some biology in college. And you’re going to want to drink that slowly.”

Helen took a deep breath. “Okay.” She took a smaller sip of the water. “Also...I thought you knew I was married. Your brother knew.”

“Yeah, I knew,” said Evelyn, sitting down beside Helen. “I also know that most supers have open relationships, seeing as you all date each other, and that’s a small pool.”

“Did you know I’ve never had a relationship with a woman?” Helen continued, unwrapping the granola bar all the way.

“I haven’t either,” said Evelyn. “I thought I might still have a shot.”

“Well, you don’t,” said Helen firmly, wondering why her heart was racing.

Evelyn sighed. “Fair enough. Are you hungry? I would offer to cook you something, but I am a lousy cook. And I mean lousy. If I cooked for you, you’d wish I had poisoned you.”

Helen took another sip of water. “Why are you doing this?” she asked pointedly. “Why aren’t you still...scheming?”

Evelyn didn’t react, and at first Helen wondered if Evelyn hadn’t heard her. “Because I failed,” said Evelyn flatly. “Why bother trying to make things better anymore? I failed. Nothing I do will ever change that.”

Helen tilted her head to one side as she chewed on the granola bar. “You really believe superheroes are harmful, don’t you?”

“No, I laid out this whole elaborate scheme that would have wrecked my brother’s ship and learned to hypnotize people and went about a week without sleep because I’m wild about superheroes,” Evelyn snapped. She pushed her hands through her hair again. “You need something else to eat.” She looked up. “I have pasta. I would probably burn it if I tried to make it myself. If you were able to give me some instructions...”

“You want me to help you make pasta?” said Helen incredulously.

“You’re not going to tell me you’re not still hungry after just a granola bar,” said Evelyn pointedly. “You haven’t eaten in over 24 hours.”

As if to underscore Evelyn’s point, Helen’s stomach growled. Evelyn quirked an eyebrow.

Helen sighed. “I’m still hungry.”

Evelyn nodded. “Okay. Hang on.” She left the room again and came back with a swivel chair, which she pushed over to the bedside. “I can push you around in this if you’re still woozy.”

“I am a little woozy,” Helen admitted. She climbed carefully onto the chair. Evelyn wheeled her slowly down a hallway to an immaculate kitchen that appeared to have never been used. Evelyn got out a box of spiral-shaped pasta and placed it on the counter, then retrieved a large pot and placed it on the stove.

“Okay, I can read the instructions about how much water to put in and how long to cook the pasta, but the actual cooking part is what I struggle with,” said Evelyn. “I have actually managed to burn pasta before.”

Helen managed to smile. “Sounds like you had the heat too high.”

Evelyn shrugged. “You’d know better than I.” She used a measuring cup to carefully pour four quarts of water into the pot, and Helen raised an eyebrow.

“You know you can just fill that from the tap, right?” asked Helen.

“You’ve never helped a scientist cook before, have you?” Evelyn countered. “I measure everything.”

“And that helps you cook better?”

Evelyn paused. “Okay, no. You’ve got a point there.” She looked over at Helen. “How are you feeling? You need more water?”

“I’m okay.” Helen swallowed and her throat felt dry. “Well, maybe I should have more water.”

“Okay. Can’t have you passing out on me.” Evelyn poured Helen another glass of water from the tap and handed it to her. “And remember what I said. Don’t drink it too fast.”

Helen took a sip. “You can turn on the stove now. You can turn the heat all the way up to get the water to boil.”

“God, I hate gas stoves,” Evelyn muttered. “The only flame I want to be working over is a Bunsen burner.”

“You use Bunsen burners in your inventing work?” Helen’s eyebrows went up.

“No, but I’d still rather be back in organic chemistry lab in college than...this.” Evelyn turned on the stove and grimaced as the flame blossomed into life underneath the pot.

Helen managed to walk Evelyn, who was helpless with the stove and hadn’t noticed that her stove burned unusually hot, through the process of cooking pasta. Once the heat was at the correct level, Evelyn tested the pasta’s doneness almost obsessively until she judged it to be properly al dente.

“You’re picky about pasta doneness?” Helen said as Evelyn ladled pasta onto two plates. “Surprising, considering how you can’t use a stove without supervision.”

“Dad used to make pasta,” said Evelyn briefly. “Guess I developed a taste for al dente pasta.” Evelyn poured a small amount of pasta into a bowl and placed it in the microwave for twenty seconds.

“What are you doing?”

“Cold pasta sauce is gross.” Evelyn poured the sauce over the pasta, grabbed a couple of forks from a drawer, pushed the chair that Helen was sitting in over to the table, and sat the plate and a fork in front of her.

Helen picked up the fork and took a bite. “What kind of sauce is this?”

“Marinara with basil,” said Evelyn. “Trust me, you don’t want me to try to make pasta sauce by myself. Cutting vegetables? My fingers would be in serious danger.”

“I use store-bought marinara too,” said Helen. “It’s fine. It’s good.”

“It’s edible?” said Evelyn, sliding into a chair. “That’s a damn miracle.” She took a bite of her pasta. “Huh. It actually is edible.”

Helen took a few more bites. “Why me?”

“Why you what?”

Helen swallowed audibly. “Why do you want me?”

Evelyn gave Helen an incredulous look. “Are you serious? Do you own a mirror?”

Helen felt her cheeks turn pink. “I mean...I thought you hated superheroes.”

Evelyn let out a long breath. “You don’t really want to hear the answer to that, right? Unless you’ve never met a real dyke before and are morbidly curious, in which case I’m not interested in being the human sexuality equivalent of a car crash you can’t look away from.”

Helen looked down at her food, abashed. “If you don’t want to talk about it…”

“I don’t.”

Helen and Evelyn finished the rest of their pasta in silence, then Evelyn got up. “Ready to go?”

“You’re really going to turn yourself in? No tricks? No schemes?” said Helen.

“Oh, I could run,” said Evelyn dismissively. “But it would suck. Always having to be one step ahead of law enforcement, probably darting from place to place? Life isn’t worth living without my favorite espresso maker.” Evelyn snickered dryly.

Helen was wondering how serious that last sentence was when she suddenly felt as if she had been kicked in the stomach. “My family.” She stood up, knocking her chair back, and she felt her head spin. Evelyn was suddenly at her side with an arm around her shoulders, steadying her. “I have to tell them—”

“I called Win after I brought you here,” said Evelyn. “He was able to tell your husband and kids that you’re okay.”

Helen nodded, but her heart didn’t stop racing. “If you’re lying…”

“I’m not. What would I gain by lying?” Evelyn sighed. “Come on. Let’s go. Put your weight on me if you’re still feeling woozy. Want some orange juice for the road? Or the sky, rather?”

“Okay.”

A few minutes later, Helen was sitting in the co-pilot’s seat, sipping from a Thermos of orange juice as Evelyn fired up the Everjet.

“Where are we?” Helen asked, and Evelyn punched a few buttons under a screen on the dashboard to reveal a digital map.

“Port Angeles, Washington,” said Evelyn. “You can watch the map to make sure I’m taking you back to Cali.”

“I may take you up on that,” said Helen with a small smile. She looked around as the jet’s engines roared into life. A sprawling evergreen forest rolled out from beneath them as the jet took off. “This is a beautiful area. Does your brother own this property?”

“Nah. I do.” Evelyn paused to focus on the takeoff, and once they reached cruising altitude, she continued. “I’d come here to invent when I needed a change of scenery.”

Helen nodded. She looked over at Evelyn, who was still focused on flying. Helen let herself examine the curve of Evelyn’s neck, the slope of her shoulder, the way her hair fell carelessly over her forehead. It occurred to her that some might describe Evelyn as “beautiful.”

Helen looked away, feeling color come to her cheeks. _You don’t have to look at her that way because she wanted to sleep with you_ , Helen told herself, hoping Evelyn wasn’t looking at her.

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t given some thought to the idea of being with a woman romantically or sexually. There had been rumors about her, back when she still had the Mohawk and rode a motorcycle...and kept refusing overtures from male supers. While she had insisted that she preferred her freedom (as no one would listen if she truthfully said that she did not reciprocate the feelings of any of her suitors), once in a while, she had wondered if the truth was that she preferred the company of women. She had always pushed that thought away before fully considering it because the possibility was simply too alien, too frightening.

Evelyn, though…

Helen pushed the thought away before fully considering it, the way she always did.

Helen must have dozed off at some point, because the change in pressure when the plane began descending woke her. She looked around, disoriented, wondering if she had passed out when Evelyn had turned off the oxygen flow to the plane’s interior, and felt herself blush again as the memories came rushing back.

“Hey,” said Evelyn. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” said Helen, stifling a yawn.

“We’re about to touch down,” said Evelyn. She still sounded weary and drained. Helen chewed her lower lip. She had seen Evelyn pretend to support her brother’s superhero legalization undertaking and she had seen Evelyn’s wrath against superheroes; now she was seeing Evelyn having completely given up.

“Are you really going to turn yourself in?” asked Helen, a little incredulously.

“You already asked me that. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” said Evelyn, actual emotion creeping back into her voice.

“I’m fine,” Helen assured her. “Just still a little surprised, I guess.”

“Don’t make me think of reconsidering,” Evelyn sighed. “And don’t distract me, I’m trying to land.”

Helen was quiet while Evelyn made a skillful landing. She looked out the window and saw several assembled police cars, police officers opening the doors and spilling out. Her heart leapt as she recognized the red and orange of her family’s supersuits.

“We have to make this look good,” said Evelyn as the plane rolled to a stop. “I figured you wouldn’t need handcuffs, seeing as you could be a pair of living handcuffs if you wanted, but we should probably walk out onto the tarmac with you restraining me.”

Helen nodded wordlessly. Evelyn engaged the wheel brakes, undid her seat belt, and stood up. “You ready?” Evelyn asked briefly.

“Okay.” Helen undid her own seat belt and went to stand behind Evelyn, who crossed her wrists behind her back. “You can have your hands in front if you want.”

“You going soft on me, Elastigirl?” Evelyn asked, moving her hands to her front.

“I just thought it would be easier for you to walk that way,” Helen demurred, stretching one arm to wrap multiple times around Evelyn’s wrists.

“Yeah, it probably would,” Evelyn agreed. “But I don’t see why you care.”

Helen didn’t have an answer. “We should go.”

Evelyn’s expression closed down, as if a realistic but eerily blank mask had been placed over her face. “Okay.”

Helen suppressed a shiver. One arm trailing Evelyn, who followed Helen mutely, Helen banged loudly on the door to the Everjet with her fist. “This is Elastigirl!” she called. “Coming out! I have Evelyn Deavor in custody!”

There was a brief pause, then a male voice she didn’t recognize replied, “You are cleared to exit the vehicle, Elastigirl!”

Helen pressed a button to open the door, waited while the hatch opened, and then proceeded down the steps to the tarmac, Evelyn following her. Police officers instantly swarmed them; before Helen could blink, Evelyn had been wrestled away from her and handcuffed. After she did blink, Bob was there, hugging her tightly enough that she likely would have had broken bones if she didn’t have her elasticity powers. “Honey! Are you okay?”

Helen hugged him back reflexively. “I’m fine. A little tired, but fine.” She managed to look to the side and saw an unresisting Evelyn be pushed into a police car.

“Did she hurt you?” Bob asked anxiously. “If she did, I swear I’ll—”

“She didn’t hurt me,” Helen insisted. “I’m okay.”

“Mom!” Violet joined the group hug, as—somewhat to Helen’s surprise—did Dash, and Jack-Jack, who was tucked into one of Violet’s arms, gave a gleeful cry of “Mama!”

Helen felt a twinge of anger; Jack-Jack had developed powers, and Bob had known. Why hadn’t he said anything about that to her?

But she could be angry later. She rested her forehead against Bob’s shoulder. “Let’s go home,” she sighed.


	2. Affliction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen faces an adversary unlike any other.

The next few days were a blur for Helen. It seemed like she had barely finished her shouting match with Bob about how he had apparently not broken his habit of hiding the truth from her in order to pursue hero work before he was packing a suitcase for his first legal assignment in fifteen years. Part of Helen hadn’t wanted to fight, but Bob had lied to her again, this time about their children. Bob had insisted, at a very high volume, that it wasn’t the case that he cared more about hero work than he did his family. Helen had her suspicions, but had she let the matter drop. If Bob loved hero work more than he loved her...well, that couldn’t be. It was unthinkable.

Bob soon got what he wanted: a new hero work assignment less than a week after the Screenslaver case was wrapped up. Helen’s doubts were slightly assuaged by the fact that he called to glory in his successes several times during the assignment, although she wished he were home to help her deal with Jack-Jack’s multitude of powers.

While her husband was away, Helen spent a significant amount of time with Edna Mode, reviewing everything Edna had learned about Jack-Jack’s powers and the control measures Edna had put in place. (She was particularly surprised by the flame retardant foam, whose flavor Edna had changed to lavender raspberry; she hadn’t known Edna’s expertise included--for a given definition of the word--cooking.)

It barely registered for Helen when a news report revealed that Evelyn Deavor had been sentenced to community service. Still, the knowledge stuck with her, like a pebble stuck in her shoe that she was trying to ignore.

Helen’s next hero work assignment came in less than a day after Bob returned home; a fairly garden-variety job apprehending a jewelry thief who kept eluding police. After a few quiet and fruitless (and boring) nights watching security cameras, her patience paid off; she saw a man matching the description of the thief breaking into a jewelry buyer’s office on one of the security cameras. With her new Elasticycle, she was there in a few heartbeats.

Not wanting to attract the thief’s attention by opening the door, Helen used her powers to flatten herself and slide beneath it. She stood up, preparing to lash out with an extended fist, but the man whirled on her, producing a large object that was unfamiliar-looking but also unmistakably some kind of gun. “I’ve been waiting for you, Elastigirl,” he said, and Helen was already dive-rolling out of the path of whatever would emerge from the barrel of the gun before the second word came out of his mouth. She leapt to her feet, expecting the villain to still be searching for where she had gone, ready to take advantage of his momentary confusion by kicking him in the stomach.

He was no longer facing her, but he was pulling the trigger on his weapon.

A brilliant, harsh light filled the room, blinding Helen. She shut her eyes tightly, but the pain in her eyes did not abate, and then her whole body felt as if it were made of lightning, and everything was pain.

Helen shrieked, and the shrill sound of her scream followed her into unconsciousness.

The first thing Helen heard as she drifted back into wakefulness was a low, uneven noise that she couldn’t identify at first, but as she blinked the world back into focus, the sound became identifiable: her husband, crying.

“Bob? Honey?” Helen got out, her voice raspy and weak.

“Helen.” Bob looked up at her and wiped his eyes. Helen got the sensation that something was terribly wrong, and it took her a moment to realize what it was: her husband wasn’t embracing her.

She reached for him, and pain rocketed up her arms. She called out in shock and dismay, horror creeping up her spine as she took in the cold reality of what had just happened: she couldn’t stretch.

“What’s wrong with me?” Helen gasped.

Bob looked back down at the floor. “The doctors ran tests while you were unconscious.” His voice was flat and cold. “That thief you went after...the NSA showed me the security footage. He goes by Reducto. Whatever weapon he fired at you…” Bob choked back a sob. “...it took your powers.”

Helen blanched, then bit back a wail. “I...I don’t have my powers anymore?”

“No.” Bob shook his head.

Helen reached for her husband again, only to be greeted by the sharp shock of pain when she tried to stretch beyond her arms’ default length. A low, keening cry fled her lips. “Can they fix me?” Helen managed. “The doctors...the NSA...do they know how to get my powers back?”

Bob shook his head slowly. “You’ve been unconscious for twelve hours. No one knows how to get your powers back.”

Helen struggled to sit up. “I have to get home,” she whispered. Outside of this sterile hospital, surrounded by her husband and her children, she might at least feel somewhat like herself again. She was a mother and a super; now one of those was lost to her, and she was grasping at the other one. “I have to see Vi and Dash and Jack-Jack.”

Bob looked over at her, his expression blank. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he said slowly. “Our children’s mother is a super. We don’t want to confuse them.”

Helen blinked, barely able to process the crushing words. “What are you saying? They’re still our children! I still want to see them!” She struggled to sit up, but pain and discomfort wracked her body and she collapsed back onto the bed. “Bob, please, let’s go home. I need to be with you and the kids.”

Bob said nothing, but he rose from the chair beside Helen’s hospital bed. Helen’s throat went dry.

“Bob? Honey?” She tried to moisten her lips. “You’re still my husband. Please, take me home.”

Bob looked at her again, and the expression on his face, both distant and devastated, made Helen’s blood run cold. “The woman I married had powers.”

“What?” Helen gasped. She watched, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping, as her husband walked out of her hospital room. She fought to sit up again, and her body refused to respond the way she wanted. She clawed at the mattress, pulling herself off the bed and onto the floor, reaching ineffectually for a nearby chair to pull herself upright. “Bob!” she wailed, barely recognizing her own voice. “Bob! Come back! I need you! Please, come back!”

Her heart raced as footfalls approached her room, but it sank as a tall, dark-haired nurse appeared in the doorway. “Mrs. Parr?” said the nurse. “Let’s get you back into your bed.”

“No,” Helen whispered. “My husband...I have to get to my husband...I have to talk to him!”

“You have to rest, Mrs. Parr,” said the nurse in a voice that was meant to be soothing, lifting Helen back into her bed.

Helen would not be soothed. “No!” she shouted. “I need my husband. I need to go home.” Helen began to weep. “I need to go home!”

Helen’s newly powerless body failed her. Her limbs wouldn’t respond as the nurse readjusted her on her bed. She sobbed openly as the nurse covered her with the thin sheet. “We can release you, if you want,” said the nurse. “All of your test results are normal. The only thing abnormal for you about your results is that your super panel cellular assay came back with missing elasticity. But we would advise that someone check you out and take you with them, as you’re still clearly experiencing some side effects of whatever was done to you.”

Helen closed her eyes. Her own husband had rejected her because she no longer had her powers. Could she stay with Lucius and Honey? They had always been closer to Bob than to her; they might not want her to stay with them. Any of her civilian friends wouldn’t be able to understand what had happened to her; she wouldn’t be able to tell them.

Winston Deavor. Maybe he could help, provide her with another place to stay. But then again, the first thing he had said to her was “I love superheroes!” She wasn’t a superhero anymore. He might not see fit to help her.

But then there was Evelyn.

Evelyn, who had kidnapped her and tried to sleep with her. Evelyn, who had made her pasta and brought her back to her family.

It wasn’t as if she had many options.

Helen took several minutes to maneuver herself closer to the phone at her bedside. She managed to pick it up, dial 411, and croak out the request to dial Evelyn Deavor’s number.

Evelyn picked up on the third ring. “You’ve reached Evelyn Deavor.”

“Evelyn?” Helen rasped.

“Is this...Elastigirl?” Evelyn sounded puzzled. “You sound like hell. What’s wrong?”

Helen choked back a sob. “I’m in the hospital. A...a villain...he fired some kind of ray gun at me, and...and…” Helen closed her eyes. “He took my powers. I’m not Elastigirl anymore.”

“Shit,” Evelyn breathed. “And you’re calling me because you think I can reverse engineer the ray gun?”

“No, I…” Helen swallowed. “My husband walked out on me. He said the woman he married had powers. Now I don’t have anywhere to go.”

There was a short pause. “Which hospital?”

“Lutheran General,” said Helen. She hadn’t been told which hospital she was in, of course, but Lutheran General was the only hospital near where she had been attacked that treated supers.

“Okay. Okay, good, that’s within the range where my ankle bracelet will allow me to travel. I’ll be right there.” There was a click as Evelyn hung up.

Ten minutes later, there was a light knock on the door; Helen cracked her eyes open to see Evelyn Deavor standing in the doorway. The last time Helen saw her, Evelyn’s face had been an expressionless mask; now she looked almost concerned. “Hey,” said Evelyn, her voice low. “I’d ask how you’re feeling, but I think I know the answer.” She sat down in a chair at Helen’s bedside. “You want to get out of here?”

Helen closed her eyes. “I...I don’t know. I don’t want to stay here. But I can’t go…” A sob escaped her throat. “I can’t go home.”

Evelyn took a deep breath. "I could talk to my brother. He might have somewhere else you can stay if you've changed your mind about staying with me."

"No," Helen whispered, her voice choked. "I don't want to be alone." She looked up at Evelyn. "Can we go?"

Evelyn nodded. "Yeah. We can go."

Helen struggled to her feet, whimpering like an animal at the sensation of her body moving in a stiff, unfamiliar way. Evelyn stood beside her, letting Helen use her arm and shoulders as a brace. "I hate this," Helen sobbed. "I don't feel like myself. It feels worse when I'm in...in contact with anything. This hospital robe feels wrong. Leaning on you feels wrong. Everything feels wrong."

"So asking the hospital staff for a wheelchair for you would be the wrong move, then?" asked Evelyn.

Helen made a Herculean effort to steady herself. "I'd rather walk."

With Evelyn's help, Helen made it to the bathroom, where she changed out of the hospital gown into street clothes that had been in her emergency satchel, which Bob must have brought for her when he first heard she was injured. The clothes felt too heavy and irritating, like her skin no longer knew how to respond to cloth.

Evelyn carried Helen’s satchel as Helen checked herself out of the hospital and they walked to the exit, Evelyn walking slowly to match Helen’s pace.

“My muscles feel like they’re made of lead,” Helen moaned.

“Are you sure you’re medically cleared to leave?” Evelyn asked incredulously.

Helen swallowed. “They ran tests. Everything came back normal.” Her voice cracked on the last word. “My...my cells aren’t showing any sign of my powers anymore.”

“Too normal, huh?” Evelyn held the heavy door that let them out of the hospital open for Helen and followed her. “My car is right here.” Evelyn gestured to a dark silver coupe. Later, Helen would think that such a car was understated for a woman of Evelyn’s wealth, but at the time, she only wanted to sit down. Evelyn opened the passenger side door for her and Helen slid into the seat, which also felt terrible on her back and backside and legs. She squirmed.

Evelyn noticed her discomfort. “We’ll be at my place soon,” she said as she closed the car door.

They did indeed arrive at Evelyn’s house soon, but not soon enough for Helen. She was on the verge of tears at the sensation of being pressed into the car’s seat by the time they arrived. Evelyn parked in the garage, opened the passenger side door, and helped Helen out of the car. Helen was unsteady on her feet and Evelyn had to half-carry her inside. Helen was barely aware of her surroundings as Evelyn assisted her through an entryway, past a kitchen and dining room, and to a generously sized bedroom that looked unlived in. “Here’s the guest room,” said Evelyn. “The bed’s not made. I’ll take care of that soon.”

Helen said nothing. She slunk down to the mattress and curled into a ball, unable to think of anything besides how everything about her body felt wrong.

Evelyn perched on one corner of the mattress. “So we aren’t talking about the elephant in the room, I guess,” she said.

Helen still didn’t speak, but she looked up inquisitively at Evelyn.

“You know, how the last time we spoke, I tried to sleep with you?” said Evelyn, a small, sardonic smile coming to her face. “Well, don’t worry. I won’t pull that again. You won’t even know I find you attractive.”

Helen couldn’t bring herself to care, but she managed a nod.

“You need anything?” Evelyn asked. “You hungry? I know hospital food is nasty. You know I can’t cook, but I have some TV dinners, instant oatmeal…”

“I’m not hungry,” Helen whispered, but her stomach growled before she was finished speaking. Evelyn raised an eyebrow. “What kind of instant oatmeal?” Helen asked in a small, defeated voice.

“Plain, cinnamon and spice, apples and cinnamon, and maple brown sugar,” said Evelyn. “I can also bring you some orange juice if you want.”

“Orange juice would be good,” Helen mumbled. “And...maple brown sugar oatmeal, please.”

Evelyn nodded. She left the room and returned a few minutes with a tray, upon which rested a glass of orange juice, a bowl of oatmeal, and a slice of toast with peanut butter. “I know you didn’t ask for toast, but you should probably have protein,” said Evelyn.

Helen nodded. Evelyn put down the tray. “Thank you,” Helen got out.

“You’re welcome. Would you rather sit on the bed or do you want to go to the kitchen?” Evelyn asked. “I can make the bed while you eat.”

“I’ll wait,” said Helen.

“Okay. You need anything else?” Evelyn paused. “Besides your husband to pull his head out of his ass?”

Helen made a noise that could have been a laugh or a sob, and she wasn’t sure which one it was. “I...I don’t know what I need,” she whispered.

Evelyn sighed. “Fair. Let me know when you’re done eating and I’ll make the bed.”

Helen swallowed hard. “I don’t know if I’ll even want sheets. Cloth feels...wrong. I think it’s because I’ve…” Helen struggled to get words out. “...I’ve lost my powers.”

Evelyn put her head on one side. “I think I might have a set of silk sheets that are pretty light. Those might be okay.” She paused. “Sounds like you might need some new clothes, too.”

Helen plucked at her sleeve. She didn’t have more than one change of clothes in the emergency satchel; her head still felt crammed full of thoughts about how horrible her body felt, but she did have to think about the fact that she had limited supplies. “I need new clothes,” Helen agreed. “I have some toiletries and a pair of pajamas in my satchel.”

“I can get you some new clothes,” said Evelyn. “You might have to come with me, though. I think we both know that women’s clothes are sized by some sort of black magic that is beyond mortal ken, especially if you have hips.”

Helen managed a small smile.

“We can go whenever you’re ready,” said Evelyn. “I’ll stop yammering and let you eat...but one more thing.” Evelyn paused briefly. “What do I call you now?”

Helen bit down on one of her fingers. It hurt, but the pain was better than the feeling of her body being too stiff and heavy, or the thoughts that she was no longer Elastigirl or Mrs. Parr. “Just Helen is fine,” said Helen, her voice barely audible.

“Helen. Okay.” Evelyn nodded. Helen decided she was okay with how her name sounded in Evelyn’s voice. “Let me know when you’re finished with your food.”

Helen managed to finish all of the impromptu breakfast Evelyn had brought her, although her mouth felt like it hardly knew what to do with the food. It got easier as time went on, though, and when she was finished, she cautiously called Evelyn’s name. Evelyn came into the room, carrying a pile of sheets. “Hey. Thought I’d make the bed now,” she said. “I also have some robes that are pretty light. I thought they might be more comfortable than those jeans.” She placed the robes on the night table.

“Thank you,” Helen whispered. She struggled to her feet and didn’t watch while Evelyn made the bed. Her powers had always made it easy for her to put sheets on beds--stretched arms had many uses--and she knew watching Evelyn perform that task with normal length arms would make her break down.

“You can lie down now,” said Evelyn. “Let me know if you need anything else, okay?”

Helen turned around to see that Evelyn had put the sheets on the bed. She couldn’t find her voice, so she nodded.

Evelyn left the room. Helen tried on the robes Evelyn had brought her, and ended up keeping on one of them, a dark blue number that felt as though it might be made of silk. She climbed onto the bed, curled up, and tried to forget.

For the next few days, Helen existed marginally, staying in bed almost all the time and only eating when Evelyn brought her food (which she did regularly). On Helen’s third day in Evelyn’s home, Evelyn asked what shampoo and conditioner Helen ordinarily used; Helen wasn’t sure whether that was a genuine question or a reminder for her to shower, but she answered the question, and Evelyn bought the brands she named for her. So she showered. In between meals and showers, Evelyn brought Helen books, newspapers, and crossword puzzles to keep her occupied. Helen hadn’t been much of a reader since she was a child, but it helped to have something to pass the time.

After about a week, Evelyn was bringing Helen an afternoon snack when she mentioned to Helen that she was surprised that she wasn’t spending all of her time in the tub. “Why?” asked Helen, mystified.

Evelyn shrugged. “Cloth and pressure feel bad to you. I figured water might feel better. I was thinking of asking you if you want me to get you a water bed.”

Helen blinked. She had spent her showers letting the water run over her, barely washing herself, not bothering to shave. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Want me to put your towel in the dryer so it’s warm when you get out of the tub?” Evelyn asked. Helen couldn’t help but smile.

“You don’t have to do that.”

Helen ran the water for her bath and tested the temperature with a hand. Pressure felt different (and awful) for her now; her sense of temperature seemed to be the same as always. She shucked off her robe and sank into the tub.

Evelyn had been exactly right that water felt better on her skin than clothing or a mattress. Helen let out a long sigh, tears coming to her eyes. She felt almost normal for the first time since she had lost her powers.

Helen spent a long time luxuriating in the water, refilling the tub three times, before she eventually got around to washing and conditioning her hair. While the conditioner was in her hair, she tried to wash herself. She managed to get through an attempt to shave her legs without crying, but reality came crashing down when her arms failed to move and stretch the way she was used to to wash her back. The feelings she had been avoiding or suppressing erupted and she burst into tears, crying for her estranged family and her missing powers.

Helen was still pressing her face into her knees, trying to muffle her sobs, when she heard the knock at the bathroom door. “Hey. You okay in there? Because it sounds like you're not,” came Evelyn's voice.

Helen let out a trembling breath. She only hesitated a moment before asking, “Can you come in here?”

Evelyn slipped into the bathroom, averting her eyes from Helen. “Need something?” she asked in a voice that was a little too casual. Helen was reminded that she was naked in front of someone who found her attractive, but that fact seemed remote. In any case, Evelyn had never done anything that could be considered pressuring her for intimacy.

Helen rested her cheek on one knee. “I...I can't reach my back anymore,” she said in a small voice. “It hurts when I try.”

“Well, you don't want me to wash your back, do you?” asked Evelyn, sounding a little incredulous.

Helen bit her lower lip. “Could you?”

“I mean...yeah, I could, I just...are you okay with that?” Evelyn queried, still not looking at Helen.

“I am.” Helen shifted so her back was to Evelyn. She heard Evelyn walk over to the tub and saw, in her peripheral vision, Evelyn re-wet the cloth and soap it up. Helen felt Evelyn carefully move her damp hair out of the way and place the cloth against the nape of her neck. Evelyn slid the cloth across Helen's shoulders and then down to the small of her back and up again, methodically but carefully. Helen let her eyes close. It felt good, letting Evelyn wash her; Evelyn was being gentle enough that the pressure of the cloth on her skin wasn’t unpleasant.

“There you go.” Evelyn put the cloth down. “You need anything else?”

“Band-Aids,” Helen admitted. “I'm not used to shaving my legs without my powers. I nicked myself. Several times.”

Evelyn hissed sympathetically. “They're in the medicine cabinet. Second shelf from the bottom. I can get them for you.”

“That's okay,” Helen whispered.

“Okay. I'll start dinner. Pasta should be ready by the time you're out of the tub.”

Helen nodded. “Sounds good.” She listened to Evelyn's retreating footsteps and waited until she heard the door close to rinse herself and rise from the tub. She toweled herself off, applied bandages to the nicks on her legs, and dressed in a fresh robe. She wrapped her hair in a towel and walked to the kitchen, where Evelyn was ladling the pasta onto two plates.

“Hey,” said Evelyn. “You find the bandages okay?”

Helen nodded. She went to Evelyn and reached for her, drew back, and then changed her mind and briefly squeezed Evelyn’s shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Evelyn blinked. “Uh, you're welcome. For what? Dinner? You taught me how to make this.”

“For everything.” Helen paused. “You didn’t have to let me stay here, and you didn’t have to bring me books or make sure I have clothes that feel okay.”

“Speaking of which, I was wondering if you felt up to going shopping,” said Evelyn. “I know you’ve been feeling like shit recently.”

Helen thought about that while Evelyn prepared the tray for Helen’s dinner in bed. “We can go shopping," Helen said. "How about tomorrow?”

Evelyn smiled, a real, genuine smile. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”


	3. Keeping Out of Direct Sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn continues to take care of Helen as Helen attempts to convalesce. Evelyn and Helen grow closer.

There were only two department stores in the range where Evelyn’s ankle bracelet would allow her to travel. Helen was familiar with one of them, so that was their first stop.

As Evelyn drove her to the store, Helen wondered if she should be more concerned about clothes shopping with someone who she still didn’t know well and was attracted to her. Then again, Evelyn had seen her naked in the bathtub and hadn’t tried or said anything prurient. When she had gotten dressed for their shopping trip, Helen had tried and failed to wear a standard bra, which was so uncomfortable on her powerless body it had almost made her cry; now she was wearing the tight (but soft) cloth apparatus she wore over her chest while wearing her supersuit. When she had considered going bra-less, she had thought not of what Evelyn would think but of the fact that she wasn’t comfortable going out in public without a bra. Her current undergarment meant she had to struggle not to think of the fact that she might never wear her supersuit again, but she didn’t like her other options.

When they walked into the store, Evelyn hesitated in the entryway. “I figured I’d let you choose whatever you wanted,” she said to Helen. “You can just think of me as an ambulatory wallet on this trip.”

Helen smiled a little at Evelyn’s choice of words. “Okay. So I can just...pick out whatever I want?”

Evelyn nodded. “Whatever’s comfortable. Pajamas, pants, blouses, dresses, whatever you want.”

“Can an ambulatory wallet follow me around and help me find things with soft material?” Helen asked.

“You trust an ambulatory wallet’s taste in clothing?” Evelyn teased lightly, and Helen’s smile widened.

“Yes.”

“Okay. I can help.”

Helen methodically made her way through the women’s department, choosing the most loose, soft items she could find. Evelyn had the sharp, meticulous eye of a scientist, even when shopping, and was able to quickly identify comfortable items for Helen. After two hours, Helen was exhausted and her body ached, and she balked at going into the changing rooms but couldn’t find the right words to tell Evelyn how she was feeling. She had been a super, a hero, able to take on almost any physical challenge; how was she supposed to articulate that she was too tired to try on clothes?

“You tired?” Evelyn’s voice cut into her grim reverie.

Helen nodded, not trusting her voice.

“Let’s go back to my place,” said Evelyn. “You can try on all this stuff when you have time, and I’ll return what you don’t like. Okay?”

“Okay,” Helen got out.

Evelyn paid for Helen’s new clothes and helped her carry them to the car. During the drive, even the soft bralette she was wearing became unbearable, and she had to struggle not to whimper and squirm.

Evelyn noticed. “We’re almost there. Are you okay? You’re not having new symptoms, are you? Should I take you to the hospital?”

“No hospital,” Helen managed. “It’s...it’s…” Her cheeks flushed, but Evelyn wore bras too, right? “It’s just my bra.”

“Wha--you wore a bra today?” Evelyn’s eyebrows lifted. “Bras already suck, and you’re wearing one in your condition? That must be a special kind of hell.”

“Wish I hadn’t,” Helen got out, fighting back tears and wondering if she would ever become used to the feeling of her body betraying her.

“We’re really close,” said Evelyn, her voice low. “Soon as we get back, I’ll run a bath for you.” She paused. “I can fix you a cocktail if you want. You’ve seemed depressed since you came to stay with me, so I didn’t think giving you more depressants was a good idea, but it might help with some of the physical...discomfort.”

“Okay.” Helen whispered.

Evelyn drove exactly five miles over the speed limit for the rest of the drive and, true to her word, ran a hot bath and prepared an old fashioned cocktail for Helen the second she was inside the house. Helen soaked in the tub for over an hour, crying on and off with relief and swearing to never wear a bra again. Eventually, she got out of the tub, dried herself off, and wrapped herself in a new silk robe that Evelyn had bought her. She was lying in bed, half-asleep, when Evelyn came in with her dinner. “Hey,” Evelyn said. “I’m sure you feel like shit, but you might feel a little better if you eat something.” Evelyn placed the tray on the bed. Helen looked over at the tray, which was laden with egg rolls, broccoli, and orange chicken.

“Is this from Crimson Pagoda?” Helen asked.

“Yeah,” said Evelyn. “Figured you were sick of TV dinners and my pathetic attempts at cooking. Your NSA file said your favorite restaurant was Crimson Pagoda, so I ordered takeout.”

Helen pulled herself into a sitting position. “Thank you,” she whispered, tears coming to her eyes again. “Sorry, I’ve been crying too much lately…”

Evelyn handed Helen a box of tissues that had been on the bedside table. “Come on, you’re smarter than that. No such thing as crying too much, especially when you’ve been through what happened to you.”

Helen began to cry openly, no longer trying to stop herself. “I miss my family,” she wept. “But I know my kids wouldn’t want to see me. Not like this.”

“What are you talking about?” Evelyn sounded mystified. “You’re still their mom.”

Helen shook her head. “Their mom had powers. I’m not the same person anymore.”

“Bullshit,” Evelyn countered. “Your abilities weren’t your whole personality.”

A fresh wave of sobs wracked Helen’s body, but she didn’t know what to say.

Evelyn sighed. “Is there anything I can do?”

Helen shook her head. “You’ve done plenty,” she whispered. “Can you stay with me while I eat? I don’t want to be alone.”

Evelyn’s eyes widened briefly, but she nodded. “Okay. Let me get my plate.”

Evelyn left Helen’s guest room, returning shortly with a plate of her own. She perched herself on the corner of Helen’s bed and began eating. “You must be pretty desperate to want my company,” Evelyn remarked. “Want me to invite my brother over some time?”

Helen shook her head. “Your brother likes superheroes. I’m not a superhero anymore.”

Evelyn sighed. “I wish you weren’t right on all counts.”

Helen decided she didn’t want to think about that. “Wanting your company doesn’t mean I’m desperate.” She swallowed. “Remember when you said we could have been good friends?”

“Should I have said ‘if you lose your abilities’ instead of ‘if not for your core beliefs?’” Evelyn asked, and Helen looked down at her plate. “Sorry,” said Evelyn. “That was unnecessary.”

Helen sighed. “If you think I’m still the same person without my powers, why are you...helping me? Being so nice to me?”

“It’s not because I’m trying to sleep with you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” said Evelyn. “Nor is it because I have some nefarious plan, or some ‘I’m the only one allowed to defeat you’ thing.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Helen mumbled.

Evelyn was quiet for a moment. “It’s not enough that you were dealt a spectacularly shitty hand and you called me, sounding devastated, and obviously reaching out to me because you had no other choices? What was I supposed to do, say no? I’m not a monster.”

Helen was weary, in pain, and still tipsy, but she could still tell that Evelyn wasn’t being completely forthright about her feelings. Helen doubted she would get an honest answer if she directly asked “Do you have romantic feelings for me that aren’t just physical?” so she let the matter drop. She said “Thank you for taking me shopping today” instead.

“You’re welcome,” said Evelyn, poking at her chow mein. “How are you liking the books I gave you? Is there anything else you want to read? I have a bunch of Frank Herbert, Phillip K. Dick, Kurt Vonnegut, and Michael Crichton, but you don’t strike me as as much of a sci-fi fan as I am.”

“I liked _The Andromeda Strain_ ,” Helen demurred. “And _Something Wicked This Way Comes_. Could you get me more Ray Bradbury?”

Evelyn nodded. “Yeah.”

“And…” Helen closed her eyes, thinking. “Who wrote _My Cousin Rachel_?”

“Ah, yeah, Daphne du Maurier. Sure. How about the crosswords? If you like those, I can get a book of them," Evelyn offered.

"I'd like that," said Helen. "Maybe we could do crosswords together. I bet you know all the scientific terms that I couldn't begin to guess."

"We can do that," Evelyn agreed. "It'd be a nice break from scribbling ideas that my brother may never use in my lab notebook." In response to Helen's confused expression, Evelyn continued. “My conviction meant my brother had to fire me. Optics, you know. But DevTech is going to be screwed without me, so I’m continuing to workshop ideas on my own time, even though Win may never be able to use them.”

Helen nodded. “Crosswords sound a lot less interesting than inventing,” she said.

Evelyn shrugged. “It’ll be a nice break.”

True to her word, Evelyn took a break from her lab notebook the following afternoon to work on a crossword with Helen. There were several words that Evelyn knew--”hematology,” “ecumenical,” and “stage” (referring to the component of a microscope)--that Helen didn’t, although Helen was able to recognize that a clue asking who wrote _Minority Report_ (Philip K. Dick) because she had seen the book on Evelyn’s living room table. Evelyn joined Helen for crosswords the next day as well, and the next day after that, and soon it became routine.

Helen’s days began to take shape as, with agonizing slowness, she adjusted to not having her powers. She would sleep for between eight and twelve hours a night, and after she was awake, Evelyn would bring her breakfast and coffee. She would read for a few hours before Evelyn brought her lunch and the two of them did one or more crosswords together. Helen would then read or write in the journal Evelyn had bought her (“I’m sure you have plenty on your mind that you might not want to share with me, and it might help to write it down,” Evelyn had said), eat the dinner that Evelyn brought her, and then spend a few hours in the bath before going to sleep.

Evelyn would also check on her several times throughout the day...and sometimes at night. Helen’s body started feeling slightly better, but her mind seemed to compensate by getting worse; she began having nightmares about Reducto and of her family--sometimes Bob, sometimes her children, sometimes all of them--rejecting her. The nightmares would usually wake her and drive her to tears, leaving her clutching the hand that wore her wedding ring. Helen had to wonder if Evelyn didn’t sleep or was a light sleeper, because she would almost always hear Helen crying, come into her room, and ask if she needed chamomile (or something stronger). After Helen had nightmares every night for a week, Evelyn somehow got her hands on sleeping pills, which she offered to Helen.

The pills worked for a while, but Helen almost missed Evelyn taking care of her at night. After she brought Helen her tea or cocktail or tea with alcohol, Evelyn would sit on Helen’s bed until she fell asleep. As she drifted off, Helen would often wish Evelyn was holding her hand or touching her hair. But when Helen slept through the night, she often woke in the morning missing Evelyn’s company, and she would wish she could hug Evelyn when the other woman came into her room with her breakfast. Evelyn began showing up in her dreams.

And then the sleeping pills stopped working.

A particularly vivid nightmare that involved Bob holding Reducto’s ray gun and telling her she wasn’t the woman he married woke her, and she ended up sitting bolt upright in bed, sobbing openly. This time, instead of clutching her wedding ring, she took it off. That didn’t feel completely right, but keeping it on felt worse.

A light knock came from the door to Helen's guest room. “Hey,” Evelyn called in a low voice. “You want some tea? Maybe with a little whiskey?”

Helen took a deep breath. “Evelyn...can you come in here?”

Evelyn walked in. She was dressed in loose DevTech logo sweatpants and a white tank top, and her hair stuck out in various directions. “What do you need?”

Helen pulled her knees to her chest, but that felt wrong. Her body still complained more than it ever had before about moving her joints. She sat with her feet hanging off the bed. “Will you stay with me? I can't...I'm having trouble sleeping alone.”

Evelyn climbed onto the mattress. “Thought you asked me not to touch you. It feels too weird without your powers or something.”

“I just want you here,” said Helen, her voice just above a whisper.

Evelyn nodded and flopped down with her head on the pillow Helen wasn't using. “Well, I'm here now. 'Night.”

Helen lay down again and turned her head to look at Evelyn. She was lying face up, her eyes closed, long lashes curling up and casting feathery shadows down her cheekbones. The shapes of her lips were outlined by the low light. Helen felt her throat go dry as she examined Evelyn's profile.

“Evelyn?” she said before she could stop herself.

“Hmmm?” Evelyn asked sleepily.

Helen swallowed. “I know I don't...I can't handle being held or touched. But I don't know...” She trailed off. “Can I kiss you?”

To her surprise, Evelyn was quiet at first. “Nah. I make it a rule not to kiss people who are pretending I'm someone else.”

Helen edged closer to Evelyn. “I wouldn't be pretending you were someone else.”

Evelyn turned her head to face Helen, her expression inscrutable. “If you mean that, then yeah, you can kiss me.”

Helen closed the remaining distance between herself and Evelyn, letting her eyes drift shut as Evelyn's full, soft lips met hers. Evelyn's kisses were gentle, almost shy, as if she expected Helen to pull away at any second. Helen's lips had always been less elastic than the rest of her, which might have been why there was no horrible sensation of wrongness as Evelyn kissed her. There was some mild discomfort, but it was worth it to feel Evelyn's warm lips on hers.

Evelyn reached to cradle Helen's face, remembered at the last minute that Helen had asked to not be touched, and moved her hand to Helen's hair, caressing it. Helen rested a hand on Evelyn's waist, again enduring the unfamiliar and unpleasant sensation of touching someone without her powers in exchange for comforting contact.

Evelyn pulled back slightly. “You okay? Is it okay that I'm touching your hair?”

“Mm-hmm,” Helen murmured. “It's nice. Now let me kiss you more.”

It was a long, long time before the kisses stopped, and by then, the tears on Helen's cheeks had dried. “Thank you,” Helen whispered. “So you don't kiss with tongue?”

“Nah, not my thing,” said Evelyn. “I might like using my teeth, but maybe not the first time I kiss someone.”

“It's not really my thing either,” Helen confessed.

“Can I kiss you more?” Evelyn asked lowly, and Helen responded by leaning in and kissing her, her hand sliding from Evelyn's side to her back. Evelyn went back to stroking Helen’s hair, but pulled away when she felt tears streaming down Helen’s cheeks again. “Hey. What’s the matter?”

Helen blinked rapidly. “I wish I could hold you.”

“Yeah, I’d like that too,” said Evelyn, her voice soft. “Is that really the only reason you’re crying?”

“No,” Helen whispered. “I, uh…I’ve never kissed a woman before...and I…”

Helen trailed off, and Evelyn finished her thought. “You don’t have feelings for me and you feel weird about kissing me.”

“More like I don’t know how I feel,” Helen replied. “More like I’m confused. I like kissing you. It feels nice. But I don’t know if I just...if I just like feeling wanted or...or…” She shook her head.

“Would you feel more comfortable if I went back to my room?” Evelyn asked.

“No! No. Please, stay. I want you here.” Helen sighed. “I do know I like being with you.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” Evelyn murmured. “I don’t expect you to have all your feelings perfectly sorted out. You should have seen me when I was first in rampant denial of the fact that I liked women.” She touched Helen’s hair again.

Helen managed a smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I know you're going through hell right now." She looked up at the ceiling. "There was a junior designer at DevTech. After my parents died, she was my shoulder to cry on. But I had no idea what my feelings were doing, I didn't know how she felt about me…" Evelyn trailed off, shaking her head. "It happens."

"Did you ask her out?" Helen queried.

"Nah. I couldn't trust her not to out me." Evelyn looked over at Helen. "Could never figure out if I could trust anyone not to out me. I've never kissed a woman before you."

Helen blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah. I hope that doesn't make you feel weird."

"No, it doesn't." Helen bit her lower lip. "That must have been lonely."

"Yeah, it sucked. But I've learned to deal with it." A small smile came to Evelyn's face. "And don't worry, now that we've kissed once, I'm not going to be constantly attached to your face trying to make up for lost time."

Helen couldn't help but chuckle. "Thanks for that reassurance." She rested her hand on the center of Evelyn's back once more. "Can I kiss you again?"

Evelyn smiled. "Yeah." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to Helen's. It was a long time--but not long enough for either of them--before they broke apart.


	4. Silver and Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn tries some novel ways to help Helen feel better after losing her powers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not currently sure about the future of this fic because my beloved ESA, my cat B'Elanna, almost definitely has mammary cancer (90% chance according to the vet). She is scheduled to have the tumor on her abdomen removed, but I need help paying for it and will be working as much overtime as possible to help pay.
> 
> If you've enjoyed my fics, please help my kitty. GoFundMe is here: gf.me/u/xn5dyy

The smell of coffee woke Helen. She stretched, feeling a horrible pang as her limbs refused to extend past their default length, and sat up. She walked to the kitchen, where Evelyn was pouring coffee. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” said Evelyn with a small smile.

Helen smiled bashfully at the epithet, remembering the kisses she and Evelyn had shared the previous night. “Good morning,” she said.

“Want some scrambled eggs?” Evelyn asked. “I only burn them about half the time I try to make them.”

“I can help with breakfast,” Helen demurred. “Scrambled eggs sound good.”

“Okay.” Evelyn opened a cabinet and retrieved a mug. “Coffee? Or are you planning on going back to sleep?”

“I should probably try to get my circadian rhythm back to normal,” Helen sighed. “Coffee sounds good.”

“Okay. I know you like cream and sugar.” Evelyn went to the fridge for creamer and eggs. “So...how are you feeling about last night? And by ‘last night,’ I mean the fact that we kissed?”

Helen felt herself blush. “If I had brushed my teeth, I would kiss you again.”

A light blush tinted Evelyn’s cheeks. “Okay, I guess there’s my answer.” She finished doctoring Helen’s coffee and handed her the mug. “How do you feel about cheek and forehead kisses?”

“I like that,” said Helen, smiling.

“Okay.” Evelyn leaned over and kissed Helen’s cheek. “So I was thinking...do you like cats?”

Helen blinked, surprised. “I love cats. I grew up on a farm, and we always had barn cats. My father thought they were great for pest control, but...I always loved when they had kittens. It took me a few years for me to stop crying when the kittens were adopted out. Why do you ask?”

“Truax Farms in Georgia,” said Evelyn, nodding and smiling. “It was in your file. Look, uh...it wasn’t in your file that you like to cuddle, but last night you said you wanted to hold me? I know we can’t cuddle because of how it feels without your abilities, but I thought you could pet a cat. Want to go to a shelter later?”

Helen’s smile widened. “You want to adopt a cat with me?”

Evelyn looked as if she were trying not to grin. “Yeah, you could say that. I thought that after breakfast, we could pick up the pet supplies and then go to a shelter.”

“Okay.” Helen dropped a kiss on Evelyn’s cheek. “I like that idea. I’ll get the scrambled eggs started.”

Helen cooked the scrambled eggs, remarking that she would have liked to add some parsley, and Evelyn suggested that they pick up some herbs another day. The two women ate their eggs quickly and drank their coffee slowly, then dressed and went to the car.

Evelyn drove straight to a pet supply store, which made Helen eye her with a small smile. “Have you been thinking about this? Adopting a cat?”

Evelyn sighed as she pulled into a parking space. “Yeah. But I was never home when I was working for DevTech. Half the time, I slept in a room next to my lab. I couldn’t take care of a pet. Now that I can’t work...well, I was thinking about it more.”

“But last night you made the final decision?”

“Yep.” Evelyn parked the car. “A purring cat can’t give you your powers back, but it might help you feel a little better.”

“It might,” Helen agreed softly.

Helen and Evelyn picked out a plethora of cat toys as well as food, food dishes, a cat carrier, and a litter box. The two women carried their purchases, staggering a little, back to the car, and then Evelyn drove to the Happy Paws Cat and Dog Shelter.

"So what kind of cat do you want to look for?" Evelyn asked as they alighted, Evelyn holding the cat carrier. "Long-haired or short-haired? Vocal or quiet? Kitten or adult?"

Helen pondered that as they walked to the front entrance. Evelyn held the door for her. "One that purrs a lot," Helen said. "I don't really care about the age."

"We might want to get an adult cat," said Evelyn as they walked up to the front desk. "They're harder to adopt out because everyone wants a cute kitten. And their personality will already be formed; we won't run the risk of adopting a future holy terror."

Helen chuckled. Evelyn turned to the young blonde woman behind the front desk. "Hi. I'm interested in adopting a cat." She gestured to Helen. "She'll be helping me pick one out."

"You'll have to fill out an application," said the woman behind the counter. "The cat will be living in your home?" 

"Yeah," said Evelyn. She turned to Helen. "You want to start looking at the cats while I fill out the app?"

"Sure," said Helen.

"I'll show you who's available for adoption," said the blonde woman, handing the application papers to Evelyn and walking out from behind the counter. She beckoned to Helen. "This way."

"Do you have any cats that purr a lot?" Helen asked, and the woman laughed, not mockingly.

"That describes most of our cats," she said as she led Helen down a row of cages. She indicated a handsome, fluffy black and white cat who was drinking out of his water bowl. "This is Oreo. He's got a great purr."

"He looks soft," Helen remarked.

"He's very soft," the woman agreed. "Next to him is Meerkat." She pointed at a striking silver tabby. "We named her because she likes to stand on her hind feet for treats or pets."

Helen was about to say something, but something caught her eye: a perfectly circular fluffy pile in the cage below Meerkat. It took Helen a moment to discern that the fluffy pile was a curled-up cat whose fur was chocolate brown all over. Helen nodded at the brown cat. "Who's that?"

"That's Chocolate," said the woman. "She's sweet, but we're having trouble adopting her out. She's such an unusual color; people think she's weird."

The cat heard her name and looked up. She yawned hugely and stretched out her paws, beginning to purr loudly and knead the blanket on which she was seated.

Evelyn walked up to them. "Find someone?" Evelyn asked.

Helen pointed to Chocolate. "She's the same color as your hair," she said, smiling.

Evelyn peered into the cage. "Oh, she's cute," she said. "How old is she?”

"We think she's about two," the blonde woman replied.

"Two? Really? She's tiny," said Evelyn.

“We think she got pregnant young,” the shelter employee explained. “Cats stop growing when they get pregnant.”

“You’ve had it rough, haven’t you, little one?” Helen said in a small voice to Chocolate, who stood and batted at the cage door.

“Can we hold her?” Evelyn asked, and the blonde woman nodded. She opened the cage and picked up Chocolate, then handed the purring cat to Evelyn.

“She really is the same color as your hair,” Helen marveled, scratching the little cat’s head. She cat purred louder and butted her head against Helen’s hand. 

“She likes you,” said Evelyn, grinning. “And she has a great purr.”

“She does!” Helen agreed.

“Would you like to meet any of our other cats?” asked the shelter employee asked. “Or has Chocolate chosen you?”

Evelyn looked down at the cat. “I’m not sure. What do you think, Helen?”

Helen was still scratching Chocolate’s ears. “I think maybe she has chosen us.”

“Okay, great!” said the blonde woman. “We’ll just finish the paperwork and you can take her home.”

Half an hour later, Helen was seated on Evelyn’s couch with the cat in her lap, still purring up a storm. Helen stroked the cat’s head while Evelyn set up the food dishes and litter box. “Evelyn?” Helen called, and Evelyn walked over.

“Yeah? Everything okay?”

Helen smiled down at the purring cat. “Yes.” She took Evelyn’s hand. “Thank you. I already love her. Her purr is...lovely.”

“And she loves you,” said Evelyn, sitting down next to Helen and leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“She needs a new name, though,” Helen mused, scratching under the cat’s chin with a fingertip. “She’s too special to just be ‘Chocolate.’” She looked up at Evelyn. “She’s technically your cat. Why don’t you give her a name?”

Evelyn put her head on one side. “Hmm.” She reached to stroke the cat’s ears, and the cat meowed in surprise at the touch. Evelyn chuckled. “Sabina,” she declared. “Her name’s Sabina. Because she was underappreciated, like Sabina Spielrein.”

“Sabina Spielrein?” Helen repeated.

Evelyn nodded. “Yeah. Underappreciated woman in psychology. One of the first psychoanalysts, actually, but people only know of her because of her relationship to Carl Jung.” Evelyn rolled her eyes. “Overrated prick.”

Helen chuckled. “You’ll have to teach me more about her.”

Evelyn smiled. “Okay.”

Helen listened attentively to Evelyn’s story about a groundbreaking female scientist who was unfairly overlooked in history (and psychology) textbooks. Eventually, Sabina the cat decided to get up and explore the house, and Evelyn and Helen followed her and laughed when she sniffed the carpets and made the Flehmen response (and Evelyn explained to Helen that felids have an olfactory organ just above the roofs of their mouths).

After Sabina had finished exploring Evelyn’s home, she settled down on Helen’s guest room bed. Helen lay on the bed, petting Sabina, and eventually drifted off to sleep.

She was woken by what sounded like Evelyn cursing from the kitchen. Helen gave Sabina’s head a quick scratch and walked into the kitchen, wiping her eyes. “Evelyn?” she mumbled. “Everything okay?”

Evelyn was standing over the kitchen sink, cradling her right hand, which appeared to be bleeding. She looked over guiltily at Helen. “Hey,” she said with a bashful expression. “Cut my damn hand trying to shred carrots.”

“Carrots?” Helen repeated.

“Yeah. I don’t just burn everything, I’m a danger to myself when I cook.” Evelyn reached into a nearby drawer, withdrawing a small tube of antibiotic salve and a box of bandages. “This carrot salad is served cool, so I thought at least I wouldn’t burn myself. But I managed to fuck up anyway,” she sighed.

“Let me help you,” said Helen, taking the antibiotic and bandages from Evelyn. “It’s hard to bandage your own hand.”

“You’re not wrong.” Evelyn held out her injured hand. Helen carefully applied the antibiotic and bandaged the small cut. “Are you gonna kiss it?” Evelyn asked sardonically.

Helen managed a small smile. She brought Evelyn’s hand and lightly kissed Evelyn’s knuckles. “Like that?”

Evelyn’s cheeks colored. “I wasn’t being serious, but...not that I mind.”

“So you were trying to make carrot salad?” Helen asked.

Evelyn sighed. “My mom used to make this. It’s not what most people think of comfort food, but...I thought I could make it for you.” Evelyn shrugged. “Stupid.”

Helen rested a hand on Evelyn’s shoulder. “Want some help making it?” she asked softly.

Evelyn sniffed. “Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of me making it for you?”

“It might be nice, cooking together,” Helen demurred.

“Would it at least be a pleasant distraction?” Evelyn queried pointedly, and Helen nodded, eyes downcast. Evelyn reached to smooth Helen’s rumpled hair. “Okay. I’m apparently a hazard to myself when I try to use a potato peeler on a carrot. Would you mind doing that?”

“I can do that,” said Helen. “Do you have a food processor?”

“I wish,” Evelyn replied grimly. “I have a blender. I can make smoothies, and that is the extent of my cooking ability.”

“I can use the potato peeler,” said Helen, picking it up from where it lay on the counter beside a large carrot.

“Let’s wash my blood off of it first,” said Evelyn. “Technically, it’s a biohazard.”

“A biohazard,” Helen repeated, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly again. “Do you ever not think about science?”

“Sometimes,” said Evelyn vaguely as she took the peeler from Helen to rinse it under a stream of hot water, then scrub it with antibacterial soap. She dried it off with a towel and handed it back to Helen. “Here you go,” she said. “I need carrot shavings. I don’t really care about how big they are.”

“Okay.” Helen set about shaving the carrot with the peeler over a large metal bowl that Evelyn had set out. “So what else is in this carrot salad?”

“Everything I’m getting out now,” said Evelyn, walking to the fridge. “Lemon juice, chili powder, cumin, parsley, garlic, cilantro, sesame seeds. I know some people have a genetic mutation that makes cilantro taste like soap, though, so I’m leaving it out. I also bought fresh Italian parsley for this salad, but hell if I know how to chop it.”

“I love fresh herbs,” said Helen, smiling for the third time in a few minutes. “So much better than freeze-dried. It’s too bad they go bad so fast.”

Evelyn looked over at her as she walked back to the counter, holding containers of minced garlic and lemon juice. “I like when you smile.”

“What, I should smile more?” Helen teased.

“Nah, I’m not some asshole guy who says ‘hey, baby, smile.’ But when you do smile, it’s nice.” Evelyn leaned over and kissed Helen’s cheek.

Helen felt her cheeks redden. “Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “So how many of these carrots do I need to shred?”

“A shitload, I believe is the technical term,” Evelyn cracked. “I think it’s two pounds. I bought however much I need. Hang on, I’ll get them out.” Evelyn retrieved the carrots from the fridge. “I’ll wash them, then I’ll make the dressing.”

“Thank you.” Helen went back to shaving the carrots. The repetitive motion was both soothing and distracting. Using a potato peeler wasn’t a task that ordinarily required the use of her powers, so it was easy to forget that she had lost them. Beside her, Evelyn mixed the ingredients for the dressing, humming idly. “What’s that you’re humming?” Helen asked.

“It’s ‘I’d Rather Go Blind’ by Etta James,” said Evelyn. “Sorry. I know I’m tone deaf.”

“You like Etta James?” asked Helen. 

“There’s that smile again,” Evelyn noted, gesturing at Helen’s face. “Yeah. Great voice.”

“Definitely,” Helen agreed. “I think that’s the last of the carrots.”

Evelyn looked at the full bowl of carrot shavings and her eyes widened. “You’re finished!? Are you some kind of...cooking magician?”

“I guess when you’re cooking for a family, you…” Helen felt as if she had been punched in the stomach as she thought of her husband and children. She blinked back sudden tears and opened her mouth to apologize, but before she could say anything, she felt Evelyn's hands take hers.

“I know you miss them,” Evelyn whispered. “Let it out.”

Helen clung tightly to Evelyn's hands and let herself cry. Evelyn continued holding and caressing her hands until her tears subsided. “Evelyn…”

“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay, because I know you’re not,” said Evelyn, her voice soft. “But are you okay enough that I can let go of your hands?”

“Not yet,” Helen mumbled.

“Okay.”

Eventually, Helen kissed Evelyn’s cheek. “I’m feeling okay enough that you can let go.”

Evelyn stepped back, cupped Helen’s face in her hands, and kissed Helen’s forehead. “Want to finish the salad now?”

Helen nodded. “Do you need help chopping the parsley?”

“I’m pretty sure I don’t have the right kind of knife for it,” said Evelyn, “but if you could try, I’d appreciate it.”

Helen nodded. Evelyn went back to the fridge for the parsley, a cabinet for a cutting board, and a drawer for a knife. “So, I have no idea how to do this.”

“I’ve chopped parsley before,” Helen assured her. “I think I can handle this.”

“Okay.” Evelyn laid the parsley, knife, and cutting board down in front of Helen and kissed her cheek. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Helen made short work of the parsley while Evelyn retrieved a salad bowl from a cabinet. Evelyn placed the bowl down in front of Helen, who poured the carrots and parsley into the salad bowl. Evelyn added the dressing and handed a large wooden spoon to Helen. “Would you believe I don’t even trust myself to toss a salad?”

“I think you could,” said Helen, “but I don’t mind stirring it.”

Helen finished tossing the salad and Evelyn covered it and placed it in the refrigerator. “It has to marinate for a few hours,” said Evelyn. “Do you want to go back to sleep?”

Helen nodded. “Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

Evelyn squeezed Helen’s shoulder. “Sure. I can stay with you in case you wake up, if you want.”

Helen smiled. “I’d like that.”

So while the salad marinated, Helen slept; Evelyn lay beside her, reading a book. When the four-hour timer went off, it woke Helen, and the two women walked to the kitchen holding hands. Helen sat at the dinner table and Evelyn served the salad, dropping a small kiss on Helen’s hair before sitting down.

Helen took a curious bite of the salad. “Mmm...this is tasty.”

“Isn’t it?” Evelyn asked, taking a bite of her own. “I’ll never get it as good as Mom’s, even though I have her recipe.”

“You know,” said Helen almost timidly, “I like cooking with you.”

Evelyn smiled. “I like cooking with you.”

“Do you think we...could cook together more?” Helen asked, and Evelyn reached over to squeeze her hand.

“Yeah. We definitely could.”

Helen and Evelyn finished their salad before moving to the couch in the living room, where they had been doing their crosswords recently. Evelyn picked up the book of crosswords from a table; Helen had other ideas.

“Can I kiss you?” Helen asked almost shyly, and Evelyn smiled and nodded before leaning over and giving Helen the kisses she had asked for. Evelyn's kisses were always surprisingly gentle and soft, like she was holding something back. She reached to stroke Helen's hair, as Helen still couldn't stand being touched. “I wish I could hold you,” Helen whispered between kisses.

“That'd be nice,” Evelyn agreed, resting her forehead against Helen's. “Do you feel any better since you first lost your abilities?”

“A little,” said Helen. “I think...I think I feel better in the parts of my body that get the most contact with...with other things. My hands feel better. My feet too, a little...maybe I should make sure I walk around more.”

Evelyn put her head on one side, looking contemplative. “The most contact...” One corner of her mouth quirked upward. “Maybe I should discover the origin of the universe, because we could probably use a foot massager right now.”

Helen smiled weakly. “It's worth a try,” she said. “With...with your hands, that is.”

Evelyn's eyebrows lifted slightly. “Are you sure? I'm guessing that would feel terrible.”

Helen swallowed. “I'll tell you if I need you to stop. We can start with my feet, which might not be so bad.”

Evelyn hesitated for a moment. “You want some wine? A little whiskey? It might help you relax.”

Helen considered that. “A glass of wine, maybe.” 

“Okay.” Evelyn kissed Helen’s forehead and got up. She went to the kitchen and returned shortly with a glass of wine. “It’s pinot grigio. I picked it up when you sent me out for groceries.”

“Because I mentioned that I like it,” said Helen with a smile. “You’re so good to me.”

“You say that now,” said Evelyn grimly. “This is probably going to be the worst massage you’ve ever had.” She handed the glass to Helen, who took it.

“Hopefully it will be worth it,” said Helen, taking a sip of her wine. Evelyn sat down next to her and kissed her cheek.

A squeaky meow sounded from a nearby doorway and Sabina walked into the room, stretching and yawning. “Awwww,” said Helen and Evelyn in concert.

“Did you just wake up?” Helen asked, and Sabina walked to the couch, leapt onto Helen’s leg, and began meowing in protest.

“She thinks you aren’t presenting a proper lap,” Evelyn laughed, and Helen crossed her legs in a way that Sabina found acceptable. Sabina climbed into Helen’s lap, turned around three times while emitting the occasional meow, and sat down. “Finicky little thing,” said Evelyn. “But she does love you.”

“She does,” said Helen, petting the little cat’s head. “Thank you for adopting her. I know you made the final decision to adopt her so she could make me feel better.”

“You’re welcome,” said Evelyn, reaching over to scratch Sabina’s ears. “She’s going to miss you when you go back home.”

Helen swallowed hard. The hand holding the wine glass began to tremble. “I don’t know…”

“Hey.” Evelyn touched Helen’s hair. “You know I’m not a fan of your husband, but he was smart enough to marry you in the first place. He’s got to miss you at some point.”

“He’s probably having trouble being a full-time parent,” said Helen with a sniffle. “He, uh...he lied about a lot of what was happening while I was trying to help launch your brother’s project.”

Evelyn groaned. “ _Men_.” She took a deep breath. “At least I wasn’t married to you when I was hiding that I was the Screenslaver.”

Helen laughed weakly. “You really think that even without my powers, my husband will miss me?”

“I’d miss you,” said Evelyn, her voice gentle. Helen gave her a grateful look and took another sip of her wine.

Helen finished her wine while occasionally petting Sabina, then put down her wine glass on a nearby table and moved a very miffed Sabina to the cushion beside her. “Should we...go to my room?” Helen asked. “There’ll be more room.”

“Good plan,” said Evelyn, nodding.

The two women walked to the guest room where Helen had been sleeping. Evelyn sat on the bed with her legs crossed and Helen moved so her feet were resting in Evelyn's lap. With a quick look at Helen's face to ask for final permission, Evelyn cradled Helen's right foot in both hands, massaging just above the heel. Helen bit back a groan at the mixed results; at first, she felt the same aversive sensation that she had come to expect from being touched, but after the initial sensation passed, the touch began to feel more normal. It still didn't feel like she had her powers, but it was at least better than what she had expected.

“You okay?” Evelyn asked, and Helen nodded.

“You can keep going.”

Evelyn nodded and continued moving her fingertips along the sole of Helen's foot, then the top, then carefully massaging each of her toes. Helen moaned, a low noise of mingled contentment and discomfort, no longer trying to stop making noise. “It doesn't sound like you want me to keep going,” Evelyn pointed out.

“It's okay,” Helen insisted. “It's helping. After my feet, I want you to massage my legs too, and my back, and my arms.”

“You're a hundred percent positive you're comfortable with this,” said Evelyn, sounding incredulous.

Helen nodded. “Yes, I am.”

Evelyn let out a long breath. “Okay.” She cradled Helen's other foot in her hands and continued massaging, her face carefully neutral. Helen bit down on her fist, still crying out as Evelyn worked her hands up and down her calves, then her thighs. “You need a break?” Evelyn asked, looking down at Helen's closed eyes and knotted brow. Helen shook her head no.

“It's hard to get through, but it feels so much better after you're done,” Helen insisted. “Please don't stop.”

“Okay.” Evelyn rested a hand on Helen's shoulder. “Shall I get your back now?”

Helen nodded and turned over. Evelyn rested her fingertips against the base of Helen's skull, pressing lightly, moving her hands up and down the nape of the other woman's neck. Helen whimpered, but immediately followed the noise with “Don't stop.”

Evelyn didn't stop, although she kept checking in frequently with Helen to make sure she didn't need a break. When she had finished acceding to Helen's request that Evelyn massage her legs, back, and arms, she sat back and sighed. “I hope that wasn't as painful as it sounded,” she said. “How are you holding up?”

Helen stretched, her limbs quaking with the effort. “Better. Thank you.” She sat up and looked at Evelyn, biting her lower lip. “Can you hold me?”

“Yeah, I can,” said Evelyn, reaching to wrap one hand around Helen's wrist. “Are you sure you're okay with all this? I don't want you to immediately decide that you regret letting me give you a massage and then have you sit on my lap because I was the only person available.”

Helen brought Evelyn's hand to her mouth and kissed Evelyn's knuckles; Evelyn blushed furiously. “Uh...”

“It's okay, Evelyn, really,” Helen insisted. “You make me feel good.”

Evelyn swallowed hard. “Okay.”

Helen climbed into Evelyn's lap and laid her head against Evelyn's shoulder. Slowly, as if she were afraid Helen would evaporate if she moved too quickly, she encircled Helen in her arms. Helen let out a long sigh and nuzzled closer to Evelyn. “Kiss me?” Helen whispered.

Evelyn leaned down and pressed her lips to Helen's. Helen interlinked her fingers behind Evelyn's neck, kissing Evelyn warmly again and again. Evelyn let her hands traverse Helen's back, shyly at first, then more boldly, one hand moving to cradle the back of Helen's head.

“Thank you,” Helen whispered in between kisses. “Thank you, Evelyn.”

Evelyn rested her forehead against Helen's. “You're welcome. It wasn't easy, though. I was scared as hell I was hurting you.”

“It didn't feel too good,” Helen agreed, “but it was worth it.” She gave Evelyn a quick squeeze. “Can you...can you spoon me?”

Evelyn kissed Helen’s shoulder. “Sure.”

Helen lay down and Evelyn tucked herself against Helen, carefully draping an arm over Helen. Helen took Evelyn’s hand and squeezed it. “Thank you,” Helen whispered. “You feel good.”

Evelyn kissed Helen’s hair. “So do you. So, uh...going forward...should I wait for you to initiate hugs, spooning, etc.?”

“No, you can ask,” Helen murmured. “I like being close to you.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Evelyn muttered. “My face is probably as red as a tomato.”

“Really? Let me see,” Helen teased, turning over to face Evelyn and resting a hand on her cheek. “You are blushing, but I’d say you’re not quite at tomato level,” she said lowly. “You’re cute when you blush.”

Evelyn’s blush darkened; Helen leaned in and kissed her, cupping Evelyn’s face in her hands. Evelyn’s hands found Helen’s waist, hesitating a little, then holding on more tightly. However, they were shortly interrupted by an angry meow. They looked up and saw Sabina, standing on the edge of the bed, tail twitching back and forth in irritation.

“Awww, are you jealous of me, Sabina?” Evelyn asked. “You want to snuggle with Helen?”

Sabina walked over to sit behind Helen and curled up against Helen’s back. “Apparently,” said Helen, chuckling.

“Sabina has good taste in snuggle partners,” said Evelyn, still blushing.

Helen ran a hand up and down Evelyn’s back. “Now that we can snuggle, it will be interesting to see if I can ever let go of you.”

Evelyn’s blush had faded slightly, but now it came back with a vengeance. “You won’t hear me complaining.”


	5. This Celluloid Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that physical contact is no longer painful for her, Helen explores her developing relationship with Evelyn.
> 
> (This is fluff. Just fluff.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently when you work 11-hour days to pay for your possibly cancer-afflicted cat's surgery, there isn't a lot to do after 6 PM, and you end up writing tons of fluff to make yourself feel better.
> 
> GET READY FOR FLUFF. This fic's plot has officially been put on hold for FLUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFF.
> 
> Also, if you can, please help my kitty: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-b039elanna-beat-mammary-cancer

Helen did indeed have trouble letting go of Evelyn over the course of the rest of the day, especially when Evelyn left to do some grocery shopping. When night fell, Evelyn kissed Helen good night and went back to her own room. Helen lay awake for a long time, petting Sabina.

She hadn’t realized how much she had missed physical contact. Evelyn’s kisses and embraces had been...comforting. But now that her body felt slightly better, she wanted more. Not having her powers still made her feel empty, and any sensation might have felt better than the feeling that her body was a stiff, unfamiliar shell that she just happened to occupy.

Helen got up and walked to Evelyn’s bedroom. She knocked on the door. “Evelyn?”

“Yeah?” came the sleepy voice from inside.

“Can I come in?” Helen asked, her voice shaky.

“Uh...yeah, sure,” Evelyn replied, still sounding half-awake.

Helen went into the bedroom. It was much less luxurious than she expected, and also messier, with textbooks, notebooks, and papers stacked on every surface. Helen climbed onto the bed, facing away from Evelyn, her legs dangling over the side of the mattress.

Evelyn looked at the woman slumped on the corner of her bed. “What are you doing in here?”

Helen pulled her knees to her chest. “I came in here to tell you that...you can sleep with me, if you want.”

Evelyn paused, taking in the sight of Helen curled in on herself, looking exhausted and defeated. “Why do I get the impression that you aren't particularly enthused about that idea?” Evelyn queried.

Helen sighed. “I guess...now that I don't have my powers...I don't feel like I need to take care of my body anymore.”

Evelyn put her head on one side. “You realize that you telling me that you’re willing to crawl into bed with me because you don't care about treating your body well means that I am unequivocally not sleeping with you tonight?”

Helen looked up. “I thought...I thought you wanted...”

“Have I ever pressured you? I hope not.”

“No…” Helen shook her head. “No, you haven't. But I thought...”

“I want a willing and enthusiastic yes,” said Evelyn. “Definitely not an 'I feel like letting you sleep with me is a form of treating my body badly'.”

“I didn't mean that,” Helen insisted. “Not...um...”

“Not exactly?” Evelyn pressed, and Helen nodded, looking guilty. Evelyn moved over to sit beside Helen on the mattress. “So what do you want?”

Helen twisted her hands. “I wanted...I wanted to do more than kiss, and I just thought...” She closed her eyes. “I thought you'd say yes, and I didn't think you'd hurt me.”

“I am tempted to say I've gone from 'not sleeping with you tonight' to 'not sleeping with you ever' if the best thing you can say about me as a potential lover is that I wouldn't hurt you,” said Evelyn. “And I may be inexperienced, but I'm sure there's a whole host of things we can do besides kiss that aren't sex.” Evelyn crossed her legs and tapped her thighs twice. “Come here.”

Helen climbed into Evelyn's lap, leaning her forehead against Evelyn's. Evelyn lifted her hands to the buttons on Helen's pajama top. “Can I? I'm just going to undo a few.”

“Yes.”

Evelyn carefully undid the first three buttons and pushed the cloth off of Helen's left shoulder. She encircled Helen in her arms and pulled her closer, pressing her lips to the now-bare skin of Helen's shoulder. Helen sighed, wrapping her arms tightly around Evelyn. “Is your neck ticklish?” Evelyn asked, her lips moving against Helen's skin.

“I...I don't know. It wasn't before, but I'm not sure anymore.”

Evelyn left a stream of slow, careful kisses from Helen's shoulder up her neck to just shy of her ear. “How does that feel?”

Helen tangled the fingers of one hand in Evelyn's hair. “It feels good.”

Evelyn took that to mean that she should continue kissing Helen's throat and shoulder, which she did, gently, Helen still holding on to her and making the occasional soft noise of pleasure.

“Can you move for a second?” Evelyn murmured against the curve of Helen's neck. “I can't neglect the other side.”

“Of course.” Helen turned her head to give Evelyn a better angle and closed her eyes to enjoy Evelyn's warm kisses on the right side of her neck and her right shoulder. “Evelyn...”

“You okay?”

“Mm-hmm. It just...it feels so good.”

“Good.” Evelyn dropped a kiss on the ball of Helen's shoulder. “You want to get some sleep?”

“Can I stay here? Can we snuggle?” Helen whispered.

Evelyn sat back and kissed Helen's cheek. “Yes and yes.”

Helen and Evelyn settled down on the bed, Evelyn holding Helen close, and Helen fell asleep shortly. When Helen opened her eyes, she didn’t immediately recognize her surroundings. She blinked, wondering if she were in one of Winston’s homes that he was letting her family use, but then everything came crashing back. She flinched and felt her back collide with another warm body, which stirred.

“Hmm...Helen?” Evelyn said sleepily, turning over.

Helen found herself remembering Evelyn’s soft lips on her neck the previous night. “Morning,” she mumbled, reaching for Evelyn. Evelyn wrapped her in a warm embrace, one hand caressing Helen’s sleep-mussed hair. 

"Everything okay?" Evelyn asked gently. "It didn't freak you out to wake up in my bed?"

“I didn't know where I was at first," said Helen. "But I like you being there when I wake up.”

A sleepy meow sounded from the foot of the bed; Sabina was yawning and stretching. She walked over to the two women and headbutted Helen’s leg, purring loudly. Evelyn smiled and stroked Sabina’s head, keeping one arm around Helen. Helen did the same, feeling a smile come to her face. She pressed a kiss to Evelyn’s shoulder. “Can we snuggle?” she whispered.

“I need coffee or I’ll have a headache,” said Evelyn, “but after that, yeah. Sure.”

Helen touched her lips to the side of Evelyn’s neck and felt Evelyn shiver. “More kisses too?” she asked softly.

“Yeah,” Evelyn whispered. “I’m just…I’m just going to go make some coffee and brush my teeth, then I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” said Helen. She leaned back from their embrace. “I should brush my teeth too, if we’re going to kiss more.”

Evelyn’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “Sounds good.”

Both Evelyn and Helen got up (much to Sabina’s chagrin) and Evelyn headed to the kitchen, Helen to the bathroom. Helen gave her teeth a thorough brushing and walked to the kitchen, where Evelyn was pouring herself a cup of coffee. Helen waited until Evelyn put the coffee pot down, not wanting to startle her, then rested her hands on Evelyn’s hips and lightly kissed the back of Evelyn’s neck.

“Hey, you,” said Evelyn warmly. “Feeling sappy this morning?”

Helen kissed Evelyn’s neck again. “I guess you could say that. When I first woke up, I remembered that I didn’t have my powers...but then you were there.”

Evelyn turned around and wrapped her arms around Helen, guiding Helen’s head to her shoulder. Helen sighed and hugged Evelyn tightly. “I’m so glad you can hug me now.”

“Yeah, me too.” Evelyn stroked and kissed Helen’s hair. “You’re a hugger, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Helen closed her eyes. “What about you?”

“Not usually. But I can make an exception for you,” said Evelyn. “I’m going to have to drink my coffee before I keep hugging you, though. You don’t want to deal with me when I’m in caffeine withdrawal.”

“Okay.” Helen kissed Evelyn’s cheek and drew back.

Evelyn finished her coffee as quickly as she could without burning herself, then brushed her teeth while Helen helped herself to some cereal. When Helen was finished with her breakfast, she took Evelyn’s hand and led her to the guest room that Helen had been using, then onto the bed. “Hey.” Evelyn rested a hand on Helen’s face. “You aren’t still thinking what you were thinking last night, are you?”

“I’m thinking that it felt good to have you kiss me like you did last night, and I’d like to do that again,” Helen replied, resting her forehead against Evelyn’s. “Can I sit in your lap?”

“Of course.”

Helen climbed into Evelyn’s lap, wrapping her arms around Evelyn. Helen’s pajama top was still unbuttoned from the previous night; Evelyn nuzzled Helen’s uncovered shoulder. “It felt so good when you kissed my neck last night,” Helen whispered.

“You want me to do that again?” Evelyn asked, her voice low.

“Yes.” Helen cupped one hand around the back of Evelyn’s head.

Evelyn pressed her lips to the spot where Helen’s neck rounded into her shoulder. “Goddamn,” she breathed. “You’re beautiful.”

Helen sighed as her head lolled back. “Thank you, sweetie.”

Evelyn leaned back. “What did you call me?”

“Oh…” Helen flushed. “Sorry, Evelyn. I didn’t mean to...”

“No, it’s okay.” Evelyn dropped a tiny kiss on Helen’s shoulder. “No one’s ever called me a pet name like that before. I kind of like it.”

Helen pulled Evelyn close again and Evelyn resumed her kisses on Helen’s throat. “Evelyn, honey, you make me feel so good,” Helen sighed.

“You really like having your neck kissed, don’t you?” Evelyn teased gently, kissing Helen just below her ear.

“Yes,” Helen breathed. She licked her lips. “Do you like neck kisses?”

Evelyn paused in the middle of kissing Helen’s shoulder. “I don’t know. I’m not very ticklish, though. We could try.”

“Can I?” Helen asked softly.

Evelyn kissed the curve of Helen’s throat. “Okay.” She sat back far enough that Helen could lean over and kiss her slim shoulder, which was bare owing to the fact that Evelyn was wearing a tank top. Evelyn made a low noise that sounded almost pained.

“Are you okay?” Helen murmured.

“That feels really intense,” said Evelyn, her voice strained. “I like it. But it’s a lot.”

Helen caressed Evelyn’s hair, touching another kiss to Evelyn’s shoulder. “Does that feel good?”

“Yeah,” Evelyn breathed. “Yeah, that’s good.” She let out a long breath. “It feels more...intimate than I expected.”

Helen trailed kisses up and down Evelyn’s neck, listening to the small noises Evelyn made in response. She couldn’t help but smile; introducing Evelyn to new forms of intimacy was a pleasant distraction from…

Helen froze as she remembered just what she needed a distraction from. Evelyn noticed. “Everything okay?” Evelyn asked, moving so she could look at Helen’s face.

Helen laid her head down on Evelyn’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice weak. “I was...reminded of how I don’t have my powers. And that I…” The words stuck in her throat.

“You miss your family,” said Evelyn slowly, sliding a hand up and down Helen’s back. “I know. It’s okay, _cara_.”

Helen blinked. “What was that last thing you said?”

“You shouldn’t be the only one who gets to use pet names,” said Evelyn. “I called you _cara_. It’s Italian. I don’t speak it that well, but I’m not a fan of most English pet names.”

“Did you study Italian?” Helen asked, not moving.

“Nah, not really.” Evelyn absentmindedly stroked Helen’s hair. “Dad spoke it with me and Win sometimes. But not until we were a few years old; he didn’t want us growing up with accents. He changed our names, too. ‘Deavor’ is Americanized.”

Helen kissed Evelyn’s jaw line. “Can we snuggle?”

“Sure.” Evelyn kissed Helen’s temple and lay down, Helen still in her arms. Helen laid her head down and closed her eyes. “Feel any better?”

Helen closed her eyes. “Yeah. Can we just stay like this for a while?”

“Of course.”

Helen relaxed while Evelyn stroked her back and hair. She felt relaxed enough to fall asleep, but remembered something else she had wanted to do with Evelyn that morning. She kissed the center of Evelyn’s chest. “Can I kiss you?”

Evelyn was quiet for a moment before saying “Yeah”. Helen sat up, moved closer to Evelyn, and leaned down to kiss her. Evelyn’s lips were just as warm and soft as Helen remembered from their recent first kiss, but her kisses felt even more timid than before. “Everything okay, sweetie?” Helen asked.

“Just didn’t expect horizontal kisses,” said Evelyn with a nervous smile.

“Oh.” Helen sat up. “Would you be more comfortable kissing me if we were sitting up?”

Evelyn nodded. She sat up and Helen climbed into her lap again, holding Evelyn close and cradling the back of her head in one hand. Evelyn blushed and hesitated for half a second before touching her lips to Helen’s. Helen felt Evelyn’s arms wrap around her as they shared kiss after warm, tender kiss, and this time she sensed no shyness from Evelyn.

“Are you really that inexperienced with kisses?” Helen asked, resting her forehead against Evelyn’s.

“Yeah. Is it that obvious?” Evelyn smiled a little sheepishly.

“It’s not obvious,” Helen demurred. “That’s why I ask.” She kissed Evelyn’s cheek. “When I kiss you, I completely forget that I don’t have my powers.”

“Well, I guess that’s the idea,” said Evelyn. She ran a comforting hand up and down Helen’s back. “Is...that what kissing me is for you? A distraction? Or do you actually feel something for me?”

Helen closed her eyes. “I...I don’t know.” She swallowed audibly. “I think...I think there’s something wrong with me.” She tightened her arms around Evelyn and rested her head on the other woman’s shoulder. “I’ve never told anyone this. Not even my husband.”

“Shit.” Evelyn stroked Helen’s hair. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“I want to.” Helen took a deep breath. “I don’t know if this was in my file, but...I had a lot of other supers interested in me. I earned a reputation for being...um…”

“Your file called you a heartbreaker,” said Evelyn. “Yes, that’s the word they used.”

Helen made a noise that could have been a laugh or a sob. “I wasn’t trying for that reputation. I kept telling myself that I liked my independence, but...it wasn’t just that. I was never interested in anyone else. I didn’t even have crushes that I decided not to pursue. I just...wasn’t interested. Even when Bob started...pursuing me, I didn’t have any feelings for him for a long time. I ended up marrying the only person I have ever had feelings for.” She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling tears drip down her cheeks.

Evelyn kissed Helen’s hair. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. I’m not interested in men. You’re not interested in most people. So what?”

Helen fought back a sob. “I don’t know if I have feelings for you. I like spending time with you. I like kissing you. But...but I…”

“You have a sample size of one when it comes to romantic and sexual feelings,” Evelyn finished. “Not a lot of data to go on.”

“Not how I would have said it, but yes,” said Helen, pulling away from Evelyn to wipe her eyes. Evelyn reached over to the nightstand for a tissue, which she handed to Helen. Helen took it thankfully and blew her nose.

“This probably goes without saying,” said Evelyn, “but I’m not going to spill to anyone what you just told me. And I’m not going to feel...wronged or anything stupid like that if you end up not developing feelings for me.”

Helen took Evelyn in her arms and kissed her tenderly. “Thank you, sweetie.” 

A small smile appeared on Evelyn’s face. “You’re welcome, _cara_.”

Helen bit her lower lip. “I feel like I don’t have to ask but...you have feelings for me, right?”

Evelyn laughed bitterly. “Looking at pictures of you with your Mohawk on the original Elasticycle was the first time I caught myself saying ‘No, Evelyn, you’re not gay, you just find Elastigirl _inspiring_.’ And later, after my parents died, I didn’t find you inspiring, I was jealous and angry that you got to be so damn beautiful. So I’ve wanted to sleep with you for the better part of twenty years.” She pushed a hand through her hair. “I’m not sure if you want to hear the rest.”

“What do you mean ‘the rest’?” Helen asked.

Evelyn closed her eyes. “I mean...I care about you. I really care about you.” She took a deep breath. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to cry at you about how I can’t live without you when you get your powers back or when your husband realizes he misses you and wants you to come home.” She smiled again, but there was no levity in it. “Awkward, right?”

Helen hugged Evelyn tightly. “What if...we stayed together after I go home?”

Evelyn sighed and slid a hand up and down Helen’s spine. “I don’t think that’s going to be possible, _cara_.”

Helen didn’t know what to say, so she held Evelyn and didn’t let go. They lay on the bed, holding each other and occasionally sharing kisses, until they were both hungry enough that they got up for lunch. After sharing more carrot salad, they spent the rest of the day together, doing crossword puzzles, reading, and lying close on the couch or Helen’s bed. When night fell, Evelyn brought Helen her sleeping pills, kissed her goodnight, and retired to her own room. Helen thought about asking Evelyn to sleep in bed with her that night, but held off, wondering if perhaps Evelyn didn’t feel ready for that now that they were trying to have a real relationship instead of the one-night stand Evelyn had suggested the day Helen had foiled her plan to keep superheroes illegal.

Helen’s sleeping pills helped her fall asleep, but not stay asleep; a nightmare that consisted of a hideously lifelike reliving of Bob abandoning her at the hospital woke her several hours later. She was shaking as she wrapped herself in one of the silk robes that Evelyn had bought her and shambled to the kitchen, the nightmare about her husband walking out of her hospital room while she cried for him to come back still fresh in her mind. Not wanting to wake Evelyn, she didn’t turn on a light, choosing instead to fumble around in the dark kitchen for a mug and chamomile tea.

“ _Cara_?” Evelyn’s sleep-slurred voice came from the doorway. “Everything okay?”

Helen turned around, a mug in one hand. “Oh,” she said in a small voice. “I’m sorry, Evelyn. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“‘S’okay.” Evelyn walked over to Helen and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. “Looking for chamomile?”

“Yes.”

“With whiskey?” Evelyn asked, a small, sympathetic smile on her face.

Helen closed her eyes. “Yes. Please,” she whispered.

Even with the lights off, Evelyn was able to find the chamomile and whiskey, and then put the kettle on. She turned to Helen. “Want to talk about it?” she asked.

Helen sighed. “Is it okay if it’s about my husband?”

“Of course.”

Helen wrapped her arms around herself. “I dreamed about him leaving me behind at the hospital.”

“Bastard.” Evelyn reached for Helen, who stepped into Evelyn’s embrace, closing her eyes as Evelyn stroked her hair. “I know, probably not what you want to hear, but how I feel.” Helen choked back a sob; Evelyn kissed Helen’s temple. “I wish I did know what you wanted to hear,” said Evelyn softly.

Helen gripped Evelyn’s shoulders. “I just...I can’t believe he would walk out on me like that. I always knew how much he valued powers, but to see me as...as not the woman he married…” Helen broke down again and Evelyn kissed and caressed her hair. “I don’t know what I want to hear,” Helen whispered. “I wish I could know that my powers would come back and that I could go back to my family. But I don’t think anyone can know that.”

The kettle whistled and Evelyn let go of Helen long enough to pour hot water for the tea and set a timer for five minutes. She added a splash of whiskey to Helen’s mug and the two women sat down at the kitchen table. When the timer went off, Helen and Evelyn drank their tea, Evelyn holding Helen’s hand as they did so.

“Evelyn...can you stay with me tonight?” Helen whispered. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“If you want, _cara_.” Evelyn caressed Helen’s hand.

“I do want that. Please.”

Evelyn nodded. She slipped an arm around Helen and led her to the guest room where Helen had been sleeping. Helen sat on the bed and gulped down her tea as quickly as possible, lying down with her head in Evelyn’s lap. Evelyn sifted a hand through Helen’s hair. “I feel a little better,” Helen mumbled.

“Good.” Evelyn brushed her knuckles down Helen’s cheek. She finished her tea and placed the mug on the night table.

“Can we snuggle?” Helen asked. Evelyn nodded and moved closer to the opposite edge of the bed so she could lie down; Helen lay close to her and tucked her head under Evelyn’s chin. Evelyn draped an arm over Helen, continuing to gently play with her hair.

“Can you fall asleep like this?” Evelyn queried.

“Probably,” Helen mumbled. “It’s nice.”

“Okay.” Evelyn kissed the top of Helen’s head. “Good night, _cara_.”

Helen was indeed able to fall asleep and then sleep through the night without any more nightmares. When she woke, Evelyn wasn’t holding her anymore, but she was lying close, still fast asleep. Helen found herself carefully examining Evelyn’s face; long lashes, full lips, striking bone structure. She remembered the first night she had kissed Evelyn, how she had admired the shadows Evelyn’s eyelashes threw across her cheekbones. Now, she let her eyes travel down, admiring the curve of Evelyn’s neck that had been so enjoyable to kiss, her delicate collar bones, modest breasts, small waist, full hips, long legs…

Helen felt a blush come to her face as she realized she was imagining what Evelyn looked like under her tank top and pajama pants. She looked away, focusing her eyes on the ceiling, before remembering that Evelyn found her attractive and wouldn’t mind Helen admiring her. She turned her head to look at Evelyn again, but was distracted by Sabina jumping onto the bed and announcing, loudly and in no uncertain terms, that she wanted breakfast.

Evelyn groaned and stretched, and Helen caught herself admiring Evelyn again and hoped Evelyn didn’t see her blushing. Evelyn sat up to pet Sabina and grumble, “Okay! Okay! Loud little thing...I’ll feed you.” Evelyn paused long enough to lean over and kiss Helen’s forehead before getting up. “Want some coffee, _cara_?”

“Sure,” said Helen softly.

Evelyn headed to the kitchen; Helen went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Evelyn came into the bathroom presently to brush her teeth as well. Helen waited until Evelyn was finished brushing her teeth before pulling the other woman into her arms and kissing her warmly.

“Good morning to you too,” said Evelyn, smiling. “Feeling sappy today?”

“A little,” Helen admitted. “I’ll make breakfast. How do fried eggs sound? Maybe with...parsley and paprika?”

“Sounds tasty,” said Evelyn. “Not that I know anything about herbs and spices. But I’m glad I bought those seasonings.”

Helen nodded and walked to the kitchen with Evelyn, who picked up her coffee mug and began drinking it while she watched Helen cook. “Interested in my egg-flipping technique?” Helen teased.

“Interested in anything you do,” Evelyn corrected. “But I should probably learn how to cook. I’m over 40 and still can’t flip anything worth a damn. Not eggs, not pancakes, not anything.”

“You’re over 40?” Helen’s eyebrows rose. “No. I thought you were younger than me.”

“I’m 42,” said Evelyn. “And you’re 39. It was in your file. So I’m older than you.” She smiled. “I hope that doesn’t make you change your mind about kissing me.”

“I’ll kiss you when I can take my eyes off these eggs,” Helen replied, and when the eggs were finished, she made good on that promise.

It was a cold day, so after Helen and Evelyn finished their breakfast, they sat on the couch under several layers of blankets, each of them with a book (Helen with _The Scapegoat_ , Evelyn with _I, Robot_ ). Helen was still wearing light silk pajamas and a silk robe, and Evelyn saw her shivering. “Want some tea? Or some hot apple cider?” Evelyn asked.

“Apple cider sounds lovely,” said Helen with a smile.

“Okay.” Evelyn got up to prepare the apple cider. “I’ll have to take you shopping again; maybe we can find some warmer clothes that are comfortable for you.”

“That’d be nice,” Helen murmured.

Evelyn microwaved two mugs of apple cider, adding a small amount of whiskey and cinnamon syrup to hers, and brought the mugs over to the couch where she and Helen had been sitting. “You sure you don't want some whiskey and cinnamon syrup in yours?” Evelyn asked as she handed Helen her mug.

“I'm sure,” said Helen with a weak smile, taking the mug. “Too much whiskey lately.”

“Okay, fair,” said Evelyn, sitting down beside Helen. Helen took a sip of her cider and leaned against Evelyn's shoulder, eyes closed. Evelyn drank from her whiskey-infused apple cider and draped an arm around Helen, resting her hand on Helen's shoulder. “You okay with this?” she asked, her voice warm and low.

“You don't have to ask every time we cuddle,” Helen murmured. 

“Yeah, but I wasn't drinking all those other times. Just wanted to make sure you trusted me to keep my hands to myself.”

Helen thought about the night she had gone to Evelyn to proposition her, about Evelyn's arms wrapping cautiously around her as they settled down to sleep in Evelyn's bed for the first time. “I trust you,” she murmured.

Evelyn kissed Helen's hair. “Better make sure that trust isn't misplaced, then.” She picked up a folded blanket that was draped over the arm of the sofa, opened it, and placed it over hers and Helen's shoulders. Helen sighed and snuggled closer.

“I think some cinnamon syrup might be tasty,” Helen mumbled, “but I don't want to stop cuddling with you.”

“I'll get some for you,” said Evelyn, getting up, walking to the kitchen, and returning with the cinnamon syrup and a spoon. She handed the syrup to Helen, who added a small amount of the syrup to her cider, stirred it, and took a sip.

“It is tasty,” Helen concluded, “but not worth stopping cuddling with you.”

Evelyn chuckled as she sat back down beside Helen, who leaned against her again. “You really are sappy today.”

Helen managed a smile. “Does that bother you?”

“Nah.” Evelyn kissed Helen's temple. “Just a little surprised by it.”

Helen chewed her lower lip, thinking. “Evelyn, would you mind closing the curtains?”

“Yeah, it's pretty bright in here, isn't it? Sure.”

Evelyn got up to close the curtains. Helen watched Evelyn to make sure her back was turned and quickly unbuttoned her pajama top, then covered herself with the blanket. Evelyn walked back to the couch and sat down beside Helen, reaching to slip an arm around her, and Helen slowly lowered the blanket, hands shaking.

“Whoa.” Evelyn averted her eyes, too surprised to do anything else. “Use your words, Helen.”

Helen took one of Evelyn’s hands between her two. “Do you want to touch me?”

“We’ve been over this.” Evelyn sounded flustered. “Only if it’s your idea, and I don’t mean the ‘I’m going to let Evelyn use me because I don’t care what happens to me anymore’ kind of idea.”

“This is a very different kind of idea,” Helen insisted. “I want you to touch me. Please, Evelyn.”

Evelyn took a deep breath. “Okay. Get comfortable.”

Helen lay back against the sofa cushions and Evelyn leaned over and kissed her soundly. Helen tangled her hands in Evelyn’s soft hair and returned her kisses. Helen tilted her head back when Evelyn left off kissing her mouth to trace her jaw line with her lips, then kiss her way down Helen’s neck to her collarbones, then lower. Evelyn made a low noise that was more whimper than moan as her lips brushed the swell of Helen’s right breast.

“You’re perfect.” Evelyn’s voice was strained.

“Thank you.” Helen pushed her hands through Evelyn’s hair.

Evelyn pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Helen’s delicate skin and Helen gasped aloud. “You okay?” Evelyn mumbled.

“Yes. Don’t stop, sweetie.”

Helen pressed encouragingly on the back of Evelyn’s head. Evelyn moaned as she leaned down to cover Helen’s chest with soft, almost timid kisses. “Goddamn…” Evelyn breathed.

“Enjoying yourself?” Helen teased with a small smile.

“Yeah. Especially if you’re feeling good enough to tease me.” Evelyn took one of Helen’s nipples between her lips. Helen moaned, wrapping her hands around fistfuls of Evelyn’s hair.

“Ohh...just like that, Evelyn…”

Evelyn responded enthusiastically, pulling Helen’s nipple deeper into her mouth and caressing it with her tongue. She slid one hand up Helen’s ribs to gently cradle and knead her other breast. Helen gasped and slid her hands down to Evelyn’s shoulders, gripping tightly.

“Oh, sweetie, yes…”

Evelyn lifted her head slightly. “You like that?”

Helen nodded. “Yeah.”

Evelyn moved her mouth to Helen’s other breast, lifting one hand to caress Helen’s face. Helen took Evelyn’s hand and squeezed it. “Evelyn, sweetheart, this feels so good, but I think I need you to stop.”

Evelyn sat up and dropped a tiny kiss on Helen’s nose. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Helen assured her. “Can I...can I try doing that for you?”

Evelyn couldn’t hold back her smile. “If you want.” She sat up. Helen rested her forehead against Evelyn’s and gently pulled up the hem of her tank top. Evelyn helped Helen remove the garment and toss it aside, and Helen pulled Evelyn into a tight embrace.

“Oh, God...Evelyn…” Helen pressed her lips to Evelyn’s shoulder. “You feel so good, honey.”

“So do you.” Evelyn gave Helen a quick squeeze.

Helen nuzzled Evelyn’s neck, leaving kisses on the warm skin. “Can you lie down?” she whispered.

“Yeah.” Evelyn lay back on the couch and Helen leaned over her, shaking slightly as she touched kisses to Evelyn’s collarbones.

“You okay?” Evelyn slid a hand up and down Helen’s back.

Helen rested her weight on Evelyn’s hips and kissed the center of her chest. “Yes. Just a little nervous. I’ve never done this.”

“Neither had I before a few minutes ago,” Evelyn admitted.

Helen covered one of Evelyn’s breasts with a trembling palm and touched timid kisses to the other breast, hoping she was doing it right. Evelyn let out a low moan, her back arching with pleasure. Encouraged, Helen pulled Evelyn’s nipple into her mouth and suckled gently, earning another cry from Evelyn. “Oh, fuck,” Evelyn called out.

“You okay?” Helen asked softly.

“Keep going,” Evelyn panted.

“Okay.” Helen kept going. Evelyn moaned and cursed and pulled lightly on Helen’s hair. “Are you sure you don’t need me to stop?” Helen asked when Evelyn let out a cry that sounded almost pained.

“Actually...yeah, I think I need you to stop.” Evelyn’s voice shook. “Want to snuggle?”

“Like this?”

“Yeah, why not? You don't do topless cuddles?"

Helen smiled. "I can do topless cuddles." She laid her head down on Evelyn's chest. She felt Evelyn thread the fingers of one hand through her hair, the other hand tracing Helen's spine with her fingertips for a moment before reaching for the discarded blanket and pulling it over them. "This is nice," Helen mumbled.

"Yeah," Evelyn sighed. "It is."

Helen kissed Evelyn between her collarbones. “You’re shaking. Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Evelyn assured her. “Just...a little turned on, if I’m honest.”

“I am too,” said Helen shyly. She closed her eyes. “Evelyn...I want you, I’m just...I’m not ready.”

Evelyn leaned up and kissed the top of Helen’s head. “You know it’s okay if you’re never ready, right?”

“I want to be okay with not having my powers.” Helen’s voice was pained. “I want to be ready for you.”

“So it’s that you’re still not used to not being all stretchy?”

Helen squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the backs of her eyes burn with unshed tears. “My body still feels wrong. Like it belongs to someone else and I’m just living in it.”

“Shit.” Evelyn stopped caressing Helen’s back long enough to give her a quick squeeze. “How did this afternoon go for you? And by ‘this afternoon’, I mean ‘breast play’?”

Helen blushed, feeling the corners of her mouth turn up. “It was really nice.”

“It wasn’t weird for you without your powers?”

Helen felt her blush deepen. “No. It...it almost made me forget that I don’t have them anymore.”

“Good.” Evelyn resumed stroking Helen’s back. Helen sighed.

“Evelyn?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we just...stay here for a little while?”

“We can stay here for as long as you want.”


	6. Ever and a Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen's loneliness hits a fever pitch. Evelyn does her best to help.
> 
> (This is the sex chapter.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff.
> 
> Well, okay, smut.

In the following days, Evelyn continued giving Helen frequent massages to keep her body feeling at least relatively comfortable. She and Helen spent most of their time together, and Helen also developed a fondness for playing with Sabina (and Sabina for playing with Helen). Evelyn also started sleeping in Helen’s guest bed to comfort her when her nightmares woke her, because Helen’s nightmares persisted. And during the day, Helen became more prone to breakdowns over missing her family and feeling betrayed by her husband as the pain of being without them increased with time.

One night, Evelyn had already fallen asleep and Helen was still awake, fighting back tears. Sabina, who was intensely empathic, got up from her usual nighttime spot between Helen’s and Evelyn’s feet and walked up to near Helen’s head, meowing. Helen petted the little cat between her ears, and Evelyn stirred, having been woken by Sabina’s meows. “Hey,” Evelyn mumbled. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Helen lied.

Sabina meowed loudly, and Evelyn chuckled. “Sabina calls bullshit,” said Evelyn. “Do you need something? Whiskey? A massage?”

“Maybe a massage,” Helen whispered.

“Okay.” Evelyn got up and moved to kneel beside Helen. Sabina, disgruntled at being displaced, meowed again and leapt off the bed. 

Helen was trembling when Evelyn's hands began working slowly at the base of her neck. “You know I'm not one for stupid platitudes,” Evelyn sighed, “but I wish I could tell you everything will be okay.”

Helen sighed. “Is that really what you think?”

“More like what I wish would happen.” Evelyn moved her hands down to Helen's shoulder blades, tracing their contours with the heels of her hands.

Helen let out a low cry at the sensation of the flesh of her back being massaged. It still took her a few seconds to adjust to how it felt to have her body touched. After the initial discomfort, Evelyn's massage felt good—soothing and careful—and she was able to enjoy it almost as much as she would have had she not lost her powers.

“You okay, _cara_?” Evelyn asked as she began to knead the low of Helen's back.

“Yes,” Helen sighed. “Please don't stop.”

Evelyn rubbed Helen's spine with the pads of her thumbs. “Wasn't planning on it.”

“No, I mean...” Helen let out a tremulous breath. “I mean I don't just want you to massage my back.”

“Are you asking for a full body massage, or are you asking me to rub your feet?” Evelyn asked, her voice almost teasing.

“Just...” Helen chewed her lower lip. She felt almost as if her body physically ached for more of Evelyn's kind ministrations. She thought of Bob's voice, back at the hospital, saying “The woman I married had powers.” “Evelyn...” Helen's voice shook. “Please just touch me.”

Evelyn cupped a hand against the curve of Helen's right hip. “Okay.” Evelyn let her palms drift from the small of Helen's back to her knees, pressing lightly. “Is this okay?”

Helen stifled the noise she made into the pillow. “You can press a little harder.”

“I feel like I finally have an appropriate time to tell you that you have an amazing ass,” said Evelyn, her voice low.

“Thank you,” Helen mumbled. “I'm glad you think so.”

“Yeah, I do,” Evelyn whispered, continuing to carefully massage Helen's hips and thighs. She slid her hands down to Helen's calves. “Not that the rest of you isn't pretty gorgeous, too. These shapely calves, for instance.”

Helen whimpered, unable to find words. “Evelyn...”

“You need me to stop?”

Helen sat up halfway and began unbuttoning her pajama shirt. “No. No, I don't want you to stop.”

Evelyn traced Helen's jawline with her fingertips, her touch gentle, almost shy. Helen leaned into the touch, pressing Evelyn's hand to her cheek. “Tell me if you need to stop,” Evelyn murmured.

“Okay,” Helen whispered. “Evelyn...are you sure you want me? At this age, and...” Helen shook her head. “...this weight? And...” her voice dwindled until Evelyn could barely hear it. “...without my powers?”

Evelyn lifted Helen's chin with one hand. “Stupid question, _cara_. Of course I want you.” She leaned down and kissed Helen. Helen kissed Evelyn back hungrily, continuing to undress herself. She took Evelyn's hands and guided them to her breasts; Evelyn pulled back from the kiss. “We can take it slow.”

Helen rested her head against Evelyn's shoulder. “I'll tell you if I need to slow down.” She swallowed hard. “Evelyn, I'm afraid, and I don't know if it's going to hurt, and I don't even know how my body works now...but please...I want you...”

“Okay. Okay.” Evelyn kissed Helen's cheek. “Why don't you lie down?”

Helen lay on her back and Evelyn leaned over her, trailing kisses down her neck. “You want me to be gentle?” Evelyn murmured against Helen's warm skin.

“Yes. Please.”

Evelyn lavished soft kisses on Helen's chest. “You're so perfect,” she whispered. “Even without your powers.”

Helen made a small noise of protest. “Evelyn...I...”

Evelyn closed her lips over one of her lover's nipples and was rewarded with a gasp of pleasure. “Relax, _cara_ ,” she soothed. “If you want me, you'll have to listen to me tell you how you're more than your powers.”

Helen made a low noise, unsure of whether it was one of pleasure, protest, or both. Evelyn continued attending to her breasts, using her mouth on one and cradling and massaging the other with a hand. Helen's back arched involuntarily and she called out as delicious tension built at the core of her, the strangeness of her superpower-less body being touched so intimately an afterthought.

“Evelyn...” Helen's voice was almost a sob. 

Evelyn lifted her head, looking at Helen's face. “You want to stop?”

“No,” Helen whispered, her voice strangled. “I want...I need more.”

Evelyn sifted the fingers of one hand through Helen's hair. “You want me between these beautiful legs of yours?” She rested her other hand on Helen's left thigh.

“Please,” Helen whispered. “Please, Evelyn.”

“Since you asked so nicely...” Evelyn slid the hand on Helen's leg to just shy of the join of her thighs, caressing the shivering skin. “You want me to start with one finger inside you?”

Helen swallowed audibly and Evelyn kissed her cheek. “If you're worried about penetration, I could just go down on you.”

“No...” Helen rested a shaking hand on Evelyn's cheek. “Start with one finger. Go slowly.”

Evelyn obeyed, watching Helen's face carefully. Helen's head tilted back and a soft cry escaped her throat. “Evelyn...”

“You okay?” Evelyn murmured, crooking her fingertip and sliding her finger carefully back and forth.

“Oh...yes...” Helen breathed. Her eyes fluttered shut. “God, Evelyn, you feel so good.”

“It doesn't hurt?”

Helen shook her head no. “Keep going.”

Evelyn leaned over Helen, kissing her face while her finger worked steadily inside her lover. “This pace okay?”

“Yes,” Helen panted. “You can probably go a little faster...” Her voice tailed off into a moan as Evelyn acceded to her request. “God...Evelyn...!” Helen squirmed and writhed, trying to force her lover deeper inside her. “Can you try two fingers?”

“On one condition.” Evelyn dropped a feather-light kiss on Helen's lips. “Repeat after me: 'I'm more than my powers'.”

Helen whimpered wordlessly in response. “I can't...”

“It's true, _cara_.” Evelyn kissed Helen's hair. “And I think you know it is. You're still brave and beautiful and so good to me, even without your powers. Now say it. 'I'm more than my powers'.”

“I'm...I'm more than...my powers,” Helen gasped out.

“That's right. You are.” Evelyn cautiously slid a second finger into Helen, biting her lower lip as she felt her lover's inner walls squeeze her fingers. “Is this okay? Does it hurt?”

“It's okay,” Helen managed. “Just...slowly.”

Evelyn kissed Helen's face, murmuring encouragement as she moved her fingers deep into her lover and back out with almost torturous slowness. “Like this?”

“C-can you try a little faster? Just a little?” Helen got out.

“I certainly can...” Evelyn dragged her teeth along one of Helen's earlobes. “Tell me, 'I'm still myself even without my powers'.” 

This time, Helen was quicker to respond. “I'm still myself...even… _ohhh_...even without my powers.”

“That's right,” Evelyn cooed. She watched Helen's face carefully as she quickened the pace of her hand just enough to make Helen moan and gasp and whimper Evelyn's name again and again.

“Just like that,” Helen groaned. “Please, Evelyn, keep going.”

“I will, since you're being so good.” Evelyn kissed Helen's hair again. “Say one more thing for me?”

“Anything,” Helen whispered.

“Tell me, 'I don't need my powers to do great things',” Evelyn murmured, then smirked. “Even if those great things are making delicious meals for me...but you don't have to say that part.”

Helen's head was turned to the side and she was burying her face in the crook of her elbow, so it was hard for Evelyn to understand her, but she could still hear Helen tremulously say “I don't need my powers to do great things."

“Good, _cara_. Good.” Evelyn caressed Helen's face. “Just relax, now. Relax and focus on how it feels.”

“It's so good, sweetheart,” Helen sighed.

“You like my fingers?” Evelyn smiled.

“I love your fingers,” Helen corrected, her voice rough. Her body arched desperately and she called out louder than Evelyn had heard her before. “Evelyn, kiss me!”

Evelyn did, kissing Helen hungrily and thrilling as she felt Helen's muscles clench around her fingers. She began to slow the movement of her hand and was surprised when Helen begged, “Don't stop. More. Please.”

“Okay, _cara_.” Evelyn kissed her lover again. “Whatever you want.”

Evelyn kept working her fingers inside Helen until she had felt her partner reach orgasm twice more, and then finally Helen whispered, “You can stop.”

Evelyn slowly pulled her fingers from her lover's body and lay down beside her. Helen nestled close to Evelyn, wrapping her still-shaking arms tightly around her lover's waist. “You okay?” Evelyn murmured.

“Better than okay,” Helen mumbled. “Thank you.”

“You were fantastic,” Evelyn breathed, caressing Helen's sweat-damp hair. “You looked so good with my fingers inside you.”

“At some point, that would have made me blush,” Helen sighed. She nuzzled Evelyn's shoulder. “Is it my turn now?”

“Hmmm.” Evelyn kissed Helen's forehead. “If you feel up to it.”

Helen responded by lowering her head to Evelyn's chest and kissing her through her shirt. “Your shirt's in the way,” she complained.

Evelyn smiled. “Let me take care of that.” She pulled her shirt off in one fluid motion, and Helen pulled her close, covering her shoulders with kisses.

“You’re beautiful, Evelyn,” said Helen lowly. “You’re beautiful and you made me feel so good...what do you like?”

“I don’t really know,” Evelyn confessed. “You’re my first.”

Helen smiled shyly. “You’re too good with your hands to not have some experience.”

“Experience with myself,” said Evelyn with a laugh. “So I can tell you that I’ll probably like your fingers in me.”

“I can definitely try that,” murmured Helen. “So what about foreplay? Can I play with your breasts like I did that day we were having cider?”

“You can absolutely do that,” Evelyn sighed. 

Helen peppered kisses on Evelyn’s breasts, less shyly than she had the day she had first taken her pajama shirt off for Evelyn. She slid one hand back and forth over the small swells of Evelyn’s breasts, savoring the low cries Evelyn made at the contact. “You want me to use my mouth?” Helen asked softly, and Evelyn nodded. Helen kissed Evelyn’s right nipple, fighting back a smile at the way Evelyn gasped. Helen pulled the little bud of flesh into her mouth, caressing it with her tongue.

“Ohhh…” Evelyn gripped Helen’s shoulders. “Oh, fuck, that feels good.”

“Mm-hmm,” Helen murmured against Evelyn’s skin. She gently rolled Evelyn’s other nipple between her fingertips and felt Evelyn squirm underneath her. “Your breasts are adorable,” Helen breathed.

“Thanks,” Evelyn panted. She swallowed hard. “Please, keep going.”

“Okay, sweetie,” Helen whispered. She continued gently stimulating her lover’s breasts, listening intently to the cries of pleasure that escaped Evelyn’s throat.

“F-fuck...Helen…” Evelyn’s legs wrapped around Helen’s waist.

“You want more, honey?” Helen breathed.

“Yeah,” Evelyn got out. “Remember what I said about probably liking your fingers in me?”

Helen sat up and kissed the hollow between Evelyn’s collarbones. “Is that what you want?”

“Mm-hmm.” Evelyn’s voice shook. “Please.”

Helen rested her forehead against Evelyn’s. “Are you ready?”

“‘Ready’ would be an understatement,” Evelyn managed. She wrapped her arms tightly around Helen, the fingers of one hand closing around a hank of Helen’s hair.

Helen stroked one of Evelyn’s thighs, shivering as she felt her lover’s legs move apart. “I haven’t done this...are you sure…”

Evelyn kissed Helen hard. “I’m sure. I trust you.”

Helen felt her throat go dry. “Okay, honey. I’ll try to be gentle. How many fingers do you want?”

“Start with two,” said Evelyn, her voice trembling enough that Helen had trouble understanding her.

Still with her forehead resting against Evelyn’s, Helen reached to trace Evelyn’s opening with her fingertips, a shudder running through her as she felt how wet and swollen and ready Evelyn was for her. Evelyn called out, a low, keening noise, as Helen’s fingers entered her. “Oh, oh fuck…” Evelyn groaned, tugging lightly on Helen’s hair. “Your fingers feel so good.”

“You like that?” Helen asked softly, bending her fingers to the first knuckle and sliding them gently back and forth.

“Ohhh…” Evelyn moaned. “Yeah. Yeah, keep going.”

“You’re so tight,” Helen breathed. “Are you sure I’m not hurting you?”

“I’m sure,” Evelyn gasped. “Am I pulling your hair?”

“It’s okay,” Helen soothed. “I kind of like it.”

Evelyn’s head tilted back. “Ohhh...Helen… _cara_...”

Helen couldn’t hold back a smile. “Can you tell me how it feels, honey?”

“Fucking amazing,” Evelyn groaned.

“You made me feel so good. Just trying to return the favor,” Helen cooed, kissing Evelyn’s cheek.

Evelyn moaned, a loud, desperate noise. “Helen…!”

“Do you need me to do anything else, honey?” 

“Just keep going,” urged Evelyn. “Please, keep going, I’m so close…”

“Already?” Helen’s eyebrows lifted.

“Yeah.” Evelyn clutched Helen’s shoulders. “You’re good at this.”

“Can I kiss you?” Helen asked, and Evelyn kissed her hungrily, moaning against her mouth. Helen felt Evelyn’s inner thighs begin to tremble. Evelyn whimpered, her head lolling back again, and Helen dropped soft kisses on Evelyn’s throat. “Are you going to come for me, sweetheart?” Helen murmured.

“Yes...I… _ohhh_ …” Evelyn buried her face in Helen’s shoulder as she was flooded with ecstasy, her body trembling as she came. Helen kissed Evelyn’s hair as she slowed the movements of her fingers, then carefully withdrew them. “Fuck,” Evelyn gasped breathlessly. She collapsed back onto the bed. “Yeah, I know, that’s what you were doing.”

Helen burst out laughing. “Do you want more?”

“I feel like all my nerve endings are live wires,” Evelyn panted. “I can’t handle any more. But thanks.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” Helen kissed Evelyn’s forehead. “I almost forgot that…” She paused, her face falling. Even in her exhausted state, Evelyn saw her lover's expression change.

“Hey.” She touched Helen’s face. “ _Cara_ , are you okay?”

“I almost forgot that I don’t have my powers,” said Helen in a small voice. 

Evelyn hugged her tightly. “Yeah, you don’t. But you didn’t need them to make me feel amazing.”

“Thank you,” Helen breathed, resting her head on Evelyn’s chest. Evelyn kissed the top of Helen’s head and stroked her hair.

“Was it like you wanted?” Evelyn queried, her voice tender.

“Better,” Helen mumbled. “You were wonderful, sweetie. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, _cara_. And...thank you.” 

Helen closed her eyes. “You’re welcome.”

The two women lay close, holding and caressing each other. Evelyn dozed and was almost asleep when she heard Helen sniffle. “Something wrong?” she asked.

“I…” Helen choked back a sob. “I feel like I cheated on Bob.”

“I’m pretty sure you can’t cheat on someone who walked out on you,” Evelyn pointed out.

“We aren’t legally separated,” said Helen, beginning to cry outright. Evelyn held her close and kissed her face.

“You’re separated in every way that matters,” Evelyn countered. “It’s okay, _cara_. You don’t have to feel guilty. It’s okay.”

“I needed this,” Helen whispered. “I needed you.”

“I know.” Evelyn passed a hand up and down Helen’s back. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I don’t know if I believe that,” Helen wept.

“I’ll have to keep telling it to you, then.” Evelyn kissed Helen’s forehead. “Want some cider and whiskey? With cinnamon syrup?”

Helen slipped her arms around Evelyn and squeezed. “Yes. But...I want to cuddle more first.”

Evelyn kissed Helen’s hair. “Okay, _cara_.”

-

It was cold when Helen opened her eyes, and she was shivering. When she reached for the blankets, she startled as she realized she was naked. She turned her head to one side and smiled when she saw an equally naked Evelyn slumbering beside her. _I slept with Evelyn_ , she thought, her smile growing as she pulled the covers over herself and her lover. 

Sabina, who had been asleep at the foot of the bed and had been disrupted by Helen moving the sheets, meowed indignantly through a yawn. The meow who woke Evelyn, who stirred, grumbling.

“Morning,” said Helen softly, reaching to slide a hand up and down Evelyn’s bare back.

“Mmm...hey,” Evelyn mumbled, a smile coming to her face.

Helen moved closer to Evelyn and kissed her forehead. “Can we snuggle?” she asked.

Sabina walked up to Evelyn’s head and batted her shoulder with a paw, meowing. Evelyn sighed. “Yeah, but maybe after I feed Sabina.”

Evelyn kissed Helen’s cheek and got up, sleepily pulling her pajamas back on and walking to the kitchen, speaking to Sabina in a high-pitched voice that made Helen chuckle. After a moment, Helen shrugged on her robe and followed Evelyn into the kitchen. Evelyn had just finished spooning wet food onto a plate for Sabina and was now turning on the coffee maker.

“Hey,” said Helen, walking up behind Evelyn, wrapping her arms around her lover’s waist, and kissing her shoulder.

“Hey,” said Evelyn. “I’ll take you up on the offer to snuggle after I have some coffee. I don’t want my caffeine withdrawal headache to interrupt us.” Evelyn pressed a button on the coffee maker and turned around to hold Helen, kissing and stroking her hair.

Helen pressed her lips to Evelyn’s neck. “Last night was beyond wonderful. Thank you.”

“Yeah, it was.” Evelyn sighed. “Thanks for being my first.”

Helen smiled. “You’re welcome.”

When the coffee was done, Evelyn poured mugs for herself and Helen, then they moved to the couch. Helen lay with her head in Evelyn’s lap, Evelyn caressing her hair. Evelyn carefully studied her lover’s beautiful face, noting worried creases at the corners of her closed eyes and slightly downturned lips. She sighed, turning a thought over and over in her head, before she spoke. "Hey, _cara_?"

"Hmm?" Helen asked, not opening her eyes.

"What's your Hebrew name?"

Helen's eyes snapped open. "How did you know I--"

"It was in your NSA file," said Evelyn. "Win told me. He was intrigued because our mom was Sephardic."

Helen managed a small smile. "Why? Are you planning to recite the Mi Sheberach for me?"

"Yeah," replied Evelyn bluntly. Helen's eyes widened.

"But... I know how you feel about powers…”

“Yeah, well.” Evelyn shrugged. “How I feel about you takes precedent.”

Helen’s cheeks colored. “My Hebrew name is Zahara.”

“Ah. ‘Shining light.’ Like your English name.” Evelyn nodded. “What about your mom?”

“Mmm,” said Helen as Evelyn resumed her caresses on Helen’s hair. “Mom’s Hebrew name is Tehilah.”

“Okay.” Evelyn cupped Helen’s face in her hands and began to chant. “ _Mi Sheberach, Avoteinu: Avrahan, Yitzhak, v’Yaakov, v’Imoteunu: Sarah, Rivka, Rachel, v’Leah, Hy yivarech virapei, et hacholah Zahara bat Tehilah, Hakadosh Baruch Hu, yimalei rachamim aleha, l’hachlimah, u-l’rap’otah, l’hazikah, u-l’chay-otah, V’yishlach lah bim-hera, r’fuah shlemah, r’fu hanefesh u-r’fu-at hagoof, b’toch sh’ar cholei Yisrael v’cholei yoshvei tevel, hashta ba’agalah u-vizman kariv, v’no-mar, Amen._ ” She leaned over and kissed Helen’s forehead. “I don’t know if I’m just shouting--or reciting--into the void, but I wanted to do something.”

Helen blinked back tears. “Thank you, sweetie. Your Hebrew is beautiful.”

“You’re welcome.” Evelyn kissed Helen’s forehead again.

“You had the Mi Sheberach memorized?” Helen asked. This time, Evelyn was quiet for a long time before answering.

“After Dad was killed, Mom just...lost the will to live. She, uh. She just sort of. Wasted away.” Evelyn sniffed and wiped her nose. “Doctors said they couldn’t do anything for her so...during that period, I said the Mi Sheberach for Mom every night. I still remember it.”

“Oh, honey…” Helen sat up and pulled Evelyn into a warm hug. Evelyn clung to her tightly. “I haven’t practiced in a long time...will you recite the Shema with me at night? If...if that’s something you’re comfortable with.”

“Yeah, we can do that,” said Evelyn, her voice rough. “I don’t usually recite it myself. I may have to look it up in my siddur.”

“So you aren’t that observant either?” Helen queried softly, not letting go of Evelyn.

“Not...very,” said Evelyn slowly. “After Mom died, Win became much more observant. He doesn’t even work on Shabbat. For me...things got more complicated.” She sighed. “Just like everything else after our parents died. Things got simpler for Win and more complicated for me.”

Helen leaned back from the embrace, cradled the back of Evelyn’s head in one hand, and kissed her gently. "I hope you’ll be okay with reciting the Shema with me.” 

“Yeah, I think I will.” A small smile appeared on Evelyn’s face. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “I didn’t mean to get all weepy on you. I was trying to help you feel better.”

“I do feel better.” Helen laid her head down on Evelyn’s shoulder. “Are you sure I’m your first relationship? You’re so good to me.”

“Yeah, you are. I guess I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.” Evelyn stroked Helen’s hair.

“Oh, sweetie...I don’t know what to say,” Helen whispered.

“You don’t have to say anything,” said Evelyn. “Just let me hold you.”

Helen pressed her lips to Evelyn’s neck. “Do you want to do more than hold me?” she whispered.

“Mmm,” Evelyn mused. “Skin-on-skin cuddles?”

“That sounds lovely,” Helen breathed.

“Okay.” Evelyn sat back on her heels and unbuttoned her blouse. Helen watched her a little shyly as she removed her own pajama top. Helen lay back and Evelyn leaned over her, kissing Helen’s cheek before draping herself over her lover. Helen wrapped her arms around Evelyn, tangling the fingers of one hand in Evelyn’s hair. “This okay?” Evelyn asked.

“Yeah,” Helen sighed. “You feel so good.”

“So do you,” Evelyn murmured. She pressed a timid kiss to Helen’s shoulder. “It’s cold. Do you want a blanket?”

“That’d be nice.”

Evelyn got up halfway to grab a folded blanket that was draped over the couch, unfold it, and cover herself and Helen with it. Helen sighed, sliding her hands up and down Evelyn’s back. “Evelyn...sweetie...I love how you feel…”

Evelyn left a stream of kisses from below Helen’s ear to her shoulder. “Back at you.”

Helen’s eyelids fluttered as she took in the sensations of the warm blanket draped over them and Evelyn’s tender skin against her bare chest. “I never want to move,” Helen breathed.

Evelyn chuckled lowly. “Me neither.”


	7. Love Like Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Further, more dangerous consequences of the removal of Helen's powers arise.

Helen was in a good mood for the rest of the day, and, after she and Evelyn recited the Shema, she slept peacefully beside Evelyn that night. But in the early morning, Evelyn woke alone in the bed and found Helen in the kitchen, hunched over a mug of chamomile tea with a hefty amount of whiskey in it. “Morning, _cara_ ,” said Evelyn softly, resting a hand on Helen’s back. “What’s that for?” She indicated the doctored tea.

“I miss my kids,” said Helen throatily. “I miss Vi and Dash and Jack-Jack.”

Evelyn stroked Helen’s hair. “Can we try to get your husband to let you talk to them?”

Helen shook her head. “He doesn’t want the kids knowing I don’t have my powers. He doesn’t want them getting ‘confused’ about who they are or who their parents are.” She buried her face in her hands.

Evelyn sighed. “I’m not even going to pretend to understand the logic behind that.” She squeezed Helen’s shoulder. “Your husband has a problem with the truth, doesn’t he? Why can’t you lie? Say that Reducto had a biological weapon that gave you a highly contagious illness, which is why you can’t see your family in person?”

Helen blinked. “That’s...a good idea.”

“Do you want to wait until you’re a little more sober?” Evelyn asked, and Helen closed her eyes.

“No. I need to hear their voices now.”

Evelyn nodded. She went to the phone and dialed the number for the house where the Parrs were staying. Bob answered, and Helen could hear his voice when he did so and have a muffled cry at the sound. “Parr residence.”

“It’s Evelyn Deavor. Your wife has been staying with me. She wants to talk to her children,” said Evelyn bluntly.

“What?” Bob demanded, sounding angry. “They can’t know--”

“They don’t have to,” Evelyn cut him off. “Tell them Reducto had a bioweapon. Tell them Helen’s terribly sick and contagious, which is why she has to use the phone.”

Bob hesitated. “I can’t. Violet asks difficult questions. She’d figure out the truth.”

“So what!?” Evelyn yelled. “So fucking what!? Helen is crying into her tea right now. She wakes up in the middle of the night missing her family. What is _wrong_ with you? She needs to talk to her kids. Look…” Evelyn took a deep breath. “How about I give you this number, and you can call back and the kids can leave messages. Just let Helen hear their voices.”

When there was no answer, Evelyn said “Hello?” a few times. She looked guiltily at Helen. “He hung up.”

A fresh wave of sobs overtook Helen. She pressed her face into her hands again. Evelyn hung up the phone and walked over to Helen, resting a hand on her lover’s back again. “I’m sorry, _cara_ , I shouldn’t have yelled, I just--”

“Get away!” Helen wept, getting up and pushing Evelyn, who stared at Helen, her mouth partially open and her eyes wide. “Get away! And don’t call me that! I don’t want you! You’re only interested in me because I don’t have my powers!” She sank to the floor, still sobbing. “I want...I want…” Helen choked. “I want someone who loves me no matter what.”

Evelyn didn’t say anything for a moment. Eventually, she went back to the phone. Helen leaned against the chair she had been sitting in, not listening, but then something Evelyn said caught her attention. “Peter Truax? You don’t know me, but I know your daughter, Helen. She’s here. She wants to speak with you.”

Helen looked up, wiping her eyes, and Evelyn beckoned to her to come over to the phone. Helen walked to where the phone hung on the wall, took the receiver from Evelyn, and whispered “Dad?”

“Hey, honey. What’s going on?” said Peter Truax’s warm voice, his Georgia accent as thick as peanut butter on toast.

Helen stifled a sob. “Dad...I lost my superpowers. A villain, he had this weapon, and when he fired it at me, I passed out and then I woke up without my powers.” She leaned against the wall. “Bob won’t talk to me. I haven’t seen my children in weeks. I miss them,” she cried.

“That sounds really hard, Hel,” said Peter lowly. “Who was that woman who called?”

“That’s Evelyn,” said Helen, and she felt at a loss for what to say next to her father, who had no idea she was attracted to women. Helen settled on “I’ve been staying with her. Bob didn’t want me at home.”

“I always liked Bob, but not if he’s going to treat my little girl bad,” said Peter. “I have half a mind to come to California and talk some sense into him.”

Helen managed a smile. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Are you okay, Hellion? What does the doctor say about...what happened?”

Helen sighed. “The doctor at the hospital said I was...normal, except for not having my powers anymore. But I don’t feel well. I don’t feel like myself.” She paused. “Evelyn is helping.”

“She a friend of yours?” Peter asked. Helen closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. She couldn’t tell her father about the nature of her relationship with Evelyn. She couldn’t lose another family member.

“Yes,” said Helen. “She...distracts me. She buys me books to read. She adopted a cat for me to pet and play with. We cook together. She even bought me new clothes when I didn’t feel right wearing clothes that I wore when I had my powers.”

“Sounds like she’s a good friend,” said Peter.

Helen closed her eyes. “She is,” she whispered.

“Do you need anything, Hel? Need me to fly up there and teach your husband a lesson? Or give you a hug?”

Helen couldn’t help but chuckle. “It’s okay, Dad. I know you’re busy with the farm.”

A familiar voice sounded in the background. “Daddy? Who are you talking to?”

“It’s your aunt,” said Peter. “Want to talk to her?”

“Yeah!”

Helen heard the phone changing hands, and then her niece Mimi’s voice came through the receiver. “Light?”

Helen unsuccessfully blinked back tears. “Hey, Shadow,” she whispered. “How are you?”

“I’m good! How are you? Is everything okay? We haven’t heard from you in a blue moon.” Concern permeated Mimi’s voice.

Helen sighed. “I lost my powers. A villain...he had some kind of ray gun…”

“Oh, Hel…” Mimi sounded pained. “I don’t know what to say...wow. Fuck.”

Helen heard Peter warningly say “Miriam”. “Hey, language,” Helen chided, but her heart wasn’t in it.

“So who do I have to kill?” asked Mimi. “What’s this villainous asshole’s name?”

“He calls himself ‘Reducto’. We don’t know his wallet name,” said Helen. 

“Jeez,” Mimi muttered. “Do you need me to fly out there?”

“I would love to see you,” Helen whispered. “But...I’m staying with someone. I don’t want to invite someone over without asking her.”

“Who are you staying with?” Mimi asked. "Why aren't you with Bob? You two aren't separating, are you?"

Helen bit her lower lip. “I didn’t know who else I could stay with...so...I’m staying with Evelyn Deavor. Bob...he can't get past me not having powers."

“Wait, Evelyn Deavor? The woman who hypnotized you?” queried Mimi in disbelief. "The one who tried to keep supers illegal?" She lowered her voice. "Did she kidnap you? Are you okay?"

"We've buried the hatchet," said Helen briefly. "She takes good care of me."

"So if you aren't kidnapped...your own _husband_ doesn't want you at home because you don't have powers anymore?" Mimi demanded. "What's his problem? Doesn't he love you?"

Helen couldn't hold back a sob. "I...I don't know. He doesn't see me as the woman he loves. That woman had powers."

"I'll kill him," said Mimi flatly. "I don't care how good a mentor he was to me, I'll kill him. He doesn't get to abandon you like that."

Helen didn't know if she should laugh or cry; the sound she made sounded like a pained combination of both. "It's okay, Mimi."

"Did you ask Daddy if you can come back here?" said Mimi, still sounding hesitant.

Helen swallowed hard. "I don't want to be far from Bob and the kids in case my powers come back."

"Okay, Light," said Mimi slowly. "But if you want me to fly to California to kill Reducto or Bob, let me know."

They talked for a little while longer about goings-on at the farm, and then Helen said goodbye to Mimi and her father and then hung up. She looked around the kitchen, feeling steadier, intending to thank Evelyn for calling Truax Farms, but Evelyn was nowhere to be seen. "Evelyn?"

Evelyn didn't respond. Helen went to her guest room and the living space, but Evelyn wasn't there either. Helen tried Evelyn's room next and found Evelyn sitting cross-legged on her bed, head bowed, Sabina on her lap. "Evelyn?" Helen said softly.

Evelyn looked up. Tears were streaming down her face. "'m I buying you a plane ticket to Georgia?" she rasped.

Helen shook her head no. "I don't want to be far from my kids. I'd rather stay here."

Evelyn quirked an eyebrow. "That won't be awkward for you, seeing as you just dumped me?"

"I didn't--" Helen paused as she remembered shoving Evelyn and saying "I don't want you". She sat down beside Evelyn, brushed a hand down her face, and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean what I said. I want us to be together."

"Until you can go back to your husband, you mean," Evelyn snapped, then sighed. "Sorry. I know this is temporary. I'm not trying to be a bitch about it."

Helen's head still swam with the aftereffects of the whiskey and she wasn't sure what to say, so she kissed Evelyn's cheek again. Evelyn didn't say anything for a moment, then asked, "How's your dad?"

"Protective," said Helen with a smile. “So was my niece.”

“You have a niece?” Evelyn sounded surprised.

Helen nodded. “Her name is Mimi. She’s a super too. Dad isn’t.” She sniffed. “Mimi still loves me even though I don’t have my powers.”

Evelyn bit her lower lip for a moment. “You know I’m not only interested in you because you lost your elasticity, right?”

Helen leaned against Evelyn’s shoulder. “I know.” She closed her eyes. “Can we snuggle?”

“Aren’t you hungry?” Evelyn asked. “It’s about breakfast time. All you have in your stomach is booze and tea.”

Helen sighed. “I’m not hungry.”

“You should eat, _cara_.” Evelyn ran a hand up and down Helen’s back. “I know you aren’t hungry, but you’ll just feel like shit later if you don’t eat. I’ll make scrambled eggs if you don’t feel up to cooking. I might even be able to whip up those cinnamon pancakes you taught me to make...if you check to make sure I don’t have the burner too high.”

Helen smiled weakly. “Okay. Pancakes sound good.”

“Pancakes _and_ eggs,” Evelyn corrected. “You need protein.” She kissed Helen’s cheek. “I’ll start cooking. Can Sabina sit on your lap? You know how she gets when she can’t fill up her love tank.”

“I can take Sabina.”

Evelyn carefully lifted up Sabina, who made a tiny mew of protest, and deposited her in Helen’s lap. Sabina turned around a few times and settled down, tucking her nose under her tail. “She loves you,” said Evelyn with a smile.

“She’s purring,” Helen replied.

“She has a great purr.” Evelyn kissed Sabina’s forehead and then Helen’s. “I’ll call you when breakfast is ready.”

Evelyn successfully cooked scrambled eggs with chives and cinnamon pancakes without burning anything, then brought Helen her breakfast on a tray so Helen could eat without disturbing Sabina. Despite not being hungry, Helen ate everything on her plate. “Did you come up with the idea to add chives yourself?” Helen asked.

“Yeah,” said Evelyn. “Why? Was that a bad choice?”

“No, it was tasty,” said Helen. “You’re learning.”

“Just wait til I tell Win I can sort of cook now.” Evelyn picked up the tray. “Need anything else, _cara_?”

“I still want to snuggle with you,” said Helen.

“You need a distraction.” Evelyn nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

Evelyn returned the tray to the kitchen, put away the leftover pancakes, and went back into her room. Sabina got up as Evelyn walked in, apparently heading to her food and water bowls. “Even Sabina knows we want to be alone,” said Helen with a small smile.

“Like that has ever stopped her from bothering us before,” said Evelyn, closing the bedroom door and walking over to Helen. Helen wrapped her arms around Evelyn, who kissed her warmly and moved her hands up and down Helen’s back.

Evelyn was always gentle, no matter how desperate Helen was to feel wanted and loved. Helen rested her head against the curve of Evelyn's throat, marveling at the depths of her lover's personality; when she had first met Evelyn, she had no idea how angry and cruel Evelyn could be. And when she had asked to stay with Evelyn after losing her powers, she had had no idea how tender and loving Evelyn could be.

“You okay, _cara_?” Evelyn murmured against Helen's hair, her hands sliding beneath her lover's pajama shirt to trace the curves of her spine.

Helen leaned back to pull her shirt off; Evelyn let out a short sigh at the sight. “I'm okay.”

Evelyn pulled Helen close, nuzzling and kissing her bare shoulders. Helen hugged Evelyn tightly, trying to focus on the soft kisses and not the fact that she could no longer stretch her arms to wrap multiple times around Evelyn. She bit back a tiny whimper.

“You're beautiful,” Evelyn breathed. “It's okay. It's okay, Helen.”

“I can't stretch to hold you,” Helen whispered. A sob started in her throat.

Evelyn kissed Helen just below her ear, following that with a stream of kisses down her neck. “And it still feels good to have you holding me,” said Evelyn in a voice that was kind but firm. She gave Helen a quick squeeze. “Can I touch your breasts?”

Helen's eyelids fluttered. “Yes. Please.” She kissed Evelyn hard. Evelyn kissed Helen back, her palms moving up and down Helen's sides until Helen took Evelyn's hands and moved them to her breasts. Evelyn carefully massaged the soft flesh, biting back a moan against Helen's mouth. 

“How do you make me feel so good?” Helen sighed.

“You seem to like it when I'm gentle,” said Evelyn, moving her mouth to Helen's neck. “You want to lie down?”

Helen lay down, her hands still gripping Evelyn's shoulders, and Evelyn covered her chest with kisses. “Evelyn...honey...” 

“Okay, _cara_.” Evelyn closed her lips over the tip of Helen's right breast, swirling her tongue around the nipple. Helen groaned, her fingertips digging into Evelyn's skin.

“God...Evelyn...”

Evelyn kissed Helen's nipple. “You okay?”

Helen nodded. “You feel so good.”

“So do you.” Evelyn went back to work pleasuring Helen, one hand moving to gently cradle and knead Helen's other breast. Helen squirmed, calling Evelyn's name again, more desperately than before. “You okay?” Evelyn whispered against Helen's warm skin.

“Can you be between my legs now?” Helen begged softly.

“I'd love that.” Evelyn left a stream of kisses down Helen's belly. “You want my fingers again?”

Helen bit her lower lip. “Actually, I'm...I'm curious about how your mouth would feel.”

A smile curled Evelyn's lips. “I hope you like it, because I'm sure I will.” Evelyn hooked her arms beneath Helen's legs, nuzzling and kissing her inner thighs. Helen whimpered, parting her legs for her lover. “You ready, _cara_?” Evelyn cooed, and Helen nodded. Evelyn lowered her head to Helen's core and covered the tender flesh with her mouth, tracing Helen's opening with the tip of her tongue. Helen groaned, her hips rocking upward into the contact.

“Ohhh, Evelyn...!”

Evelyn hummed assent against Helen's soft folds, using her tongue to stroke the pearl of sensitive flesh at the top of her lover's slit. Helen's voice rose to what was almost a scream, her hands making fists in Evelyn's hair. 

“Evelyn… _f-fuck_...” Helen sobbed.

Evelyn lifted her head. “You okay? Is it too intense? I've never heard you curse before.”

“Keep going,” Helen gasped. “Please, please keep going.”

“Okay, _cara_. Try to relax.” Evelyn lowered her head again, caressing Helen's clit with her tongue, her brow furrowed in concentration. Helen gripped Evelyn's hair tightly with both hands, struggling to breathe deeply as the most intense pleasure she had ever felt built inside her. The strong sensation verged on pain, but the last thing she wanted Evelyn to do was stop.

“Oh my God...Evelyn… _ohhh_...” Helen pulled Evelyn's hair, her spine arching and her body quaking as she came.

Evelyn kissed Helen's thigh and sat up. “Want me to keep going?”

Helen shook her head no and opened her arms to Evelyn, asking tacitly to be held. Evelyn crawled up to the head of the bed and gathered Helen into an embrace, kissing her hair. “Oh, wow,” Helen breathed.

“You liked that, didn't you?” said Evelyn with a smile. “So did I. You're delicious.”

Helen felt her cheeks flush. “You make me feel so good.”

“That's the idea.” Evelyn kissed Helen's forehead.

“Can I...can I try doing that for you?” Helen asked almost shyly, and Evelyn smiled.

“Yeah. I'd like that.”

Helen tugged at the hem of Evelyn's tank top. “Can you take this off?”

“Of course.” Evelyn pulled her tank top over her head and Helen wrapped her arms tightly around her lover, sighing at the sensation of Evelyn's naked skin against her own bare body.

“You feel so good,” Helen breathed, and Evelyn dropped a kiss on her shoulder.

“So you've mentioned...and so do you.”

“Can you lie down?” Helen asked, and Evelyn did, pushing her pajama pants down over her hips. Helen helped her remove them the rest of the way and sat back on her heels, admiring her lover's undressed form.

“Like what you see?” said Evelyn with a smile.

“Yeah, I do,” said Helen lowly, leaning over to kiss Evelyn's lips again and again. She felt Evelyn move beneath her, parting her thighs to make room for Helen, who settled her hips against Evelyn's. “Is this okay?” Helen asked, and Evelyn nodded.

“You feel nice,” Evelyn sighed, giving Helen a quick squeeze with her legs. Helen trembled a little at the sensation of her lover's legs around her waist.

“So do you,” said Helen, biting her lower lip. She lowered her head to Evelyn's throat, touching warm kisses to Evelyn's skin, and Evelyn sifted her hands through Helen's hair as she tilted her head back to give Helen a better angle. “Can I kiss your chest?” Helen queried softly, and Evelyn nodded. Helen kissed her way down to Evelyn's breasts, covering them with gentle kisses before latching her lips onto her lover's right nipple.

Evelyn gasped and wrapped her hands around handfuls of Helen's hair. “Mmm...Helen... _cara_...”

Helen sat up, watching Evelyn's face as she passed a palm over Evelyn's small, finely shaped breasts. Evelyn's eyes were closed, her brow furrowed. “You're so beautiful,” Helen murmured.

“Thanks,” Evelyn sighed. “You're also amazingly beautiful, so much so that I need you between my legs right this second.”

Helen kissed Evelyn's nose. “I hope I can do it right.” She trailed her parted lips down Evelyn's throat, chest, and stomach, and Evelyn moaned and struggled not to pull Helen's hair as she felt the softness of Helen's tongue against her aching core.

“You're doing it right so far,” Evelyn groaned as Helen continued to lave her tongue over her sensitive bundle of nerves in much the same way Evelyn had done for Helen earlier. “Oh, God...oh, fuck, Helen...”

Helen kissed Evelyn at the top of her opening. “Do you need me to change anything, sweetie?”

“Can you suck on my clit?” Evelyn gasped, and Helen nodded and acceded enthusiastically to her request. “Ohhh!” Evelyn let go of Helen's hair to grip and pull on the sheets, tugging one corner of the fitted sheet off the mattress. “Just like that!”

Helen wrapped her arms around Evelyn's legs as Evelyn's body tensed, her spine arching off the bed. Evelyn called out as she strained through her orgasm, Helen still working at Evelyn's tender flesh with her mouth until Evelyn lay still.

“Goddamn,” Evelyn breathed. “And you were worried about doing it right.”

Helen lay down beside her lover. “That is...really, really enjoyable,” she mumbled, blushing. “I can see why you liked doing that for me.”

Evelyn snuggled close to Helen. “Yeah, I did.”

Helen instinctively reached to wrap her arms multiple times around her lover, and she made a low noise of dismay when her arms failed to stretch. Evelyn recognized the noise and hugged Helen close to her. “I know, _cara_. I know.”

“I'm still not used to it. I don't know if I'll ever be used to it,” Helen whispered, tears starting in her eyes.

Evelyn kissed her hair. “I don't know if you'll ever get your powers back. But if you don't, you'll still be my _cara_ , and you'll still be the same amazing person I know you are.”

Helen couldn't help but smile. Evelyn was so rarely openly sweet with words, but that made those rare occasions all the more special. “Thank you.”

“But if your powers do come back, and you go back to your husband…”

Helen’s throat went dry. “Honey…”

“No, I need to say this,” said Evelyn. “Apparently amazing sex loosens my tongue. Or something.” She closed her eyes and Helen stroked her face. “You’re not going to stay with me forever. You’re going to go back to your family. And when that happens, worst case scenario you’ll probably be ashamed you ever looked at me, let alone slept with me. And you won’t want to talk to me again. So when that happens, I won’t be a bitch about it. I’ll be upset, and I’ll miss you, but I won’t be a bitch about it.” She looked over at Helen. “Do you think you’ll still want everything I bought you? The clothes? The books?” She paused. “I’m keeping Sabina, though.”

“Of course. She’s your cat,” said Helen. “I’d like to keep everything you bought me.”

“You sure?” Evelyn asked. “I mean, I care about you, but I know you don’t...you don’t feel the same way about me as I do about you.”

Helen squeezed Evelyn tightly. “Of course I care about you, sweetie.” She paused. “Do you love me?”

“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” Evelyn sighed.

Helen kissed Evelyn between her collarbones. “Yes.”

Evelyn swallowed audibly. “Yeah.” Her voice was strangled. “I love you, okay? I love you. Don’t feel bad you can’t say it back.”

“Oh, sweetheart…” Helen blinked back tears as she kissed Evelyn’s hair and forehead.

“Goddammit,” Evelyn whispered. “Goddammit, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s okay, honey. It’s okay,” Helen whispered, moving so she could look at Evelyn’s face. She rested a hand on Evelyn’s cheek, trying to wipe away her tears. “I’ll figure out a way for us to stay together. I promise.”

Evelyn closed her eyes. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, _cara_. You’ve brought this up before, and...don’t do it again, okay? Let’s be realistic.”

Helen felt her own tears begin to fall. “Okay, honey.” She hugged Evelyn close and wasn’t planning on letting go, but it wasn’t long before she felt strangely warm and had to pull away.

“You okay?” Evelyn asked. “You’re sweating...it’s not that hot in here, is it?”

Helen squirmed uncomfortably. “I don’t feel well.”

Evelyn felt Helen’s forehead. “You’re burning up.” Evelyn got up and began throwing her clothes on. “I’ll get you some paracetamol.”

“Thank you.”

Evelyn brought Helen paracetamol and water, and Helen took the medicine. “Maybe you could take a bath,” Evelyn suggested. “That usually seems to make you feel better.”

“Yeah, okay,” Helen agreed. She kissed Evelyn, shrugged on a robe, and walked to the bathroom to run a bath. When Evelyn came to check on her half an hour later, Helen was back in bed, shivering under several layers of covers.

“Hey, _cara_ ,” Evelyn murmured, placing a hand on Helen’s forehead again. “Damn, you’re still burning up.” Her brow furrowed. “Let me take your temperature.” Helen nodded; Evelyn retrieved a thermometer from the bathroom and took Helen’s temperature. “103.2. Shit. Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” Evelyn murmured. “Lutheran General treats supers, right?”

“Yes,” Helen whispered. “You really think we should go to the hospital for a fever?”

“A high fever that won’t go down,” said Evelyn. “And you haven’t been anywhere, so it’s unlikely you picked up a germ. I’m not sick, so I probably didn’t bring an illness home to you. But your powers were taken from you recently using a method we know nothing about. And I’m worried that this fever is a side effect or worse.”

Helen closed her eyes. “Okay. Let me get dressed.”

“Okay, _cara_.”

Helen dressed and Evelyn helped her to the car. Evelyn drove five miles above the speed limit the entire way to the hospital. After a few minutes in the car, Helen was shaking and barely able to respond when Evelyn spoke to her. When Evelyn pulled into the parking lot of the emergency department, Evelyn had to carry Helen inside.

“This woman’s fever is spiking. She needs immediate medical attention!” Evelyn shouted as she walked into the emergency department’s waiting area, staggering under Helen’s weight.

The hospital staff responded quickly; they rushed over with a gurney and lifted Helen onto it. “We’ll take her in for treatment right away,” said one of the nurses to Evelyn. “Can you give us any personal information on her?”

Evelyn lowered her voice. “This is Helen Parr, also known as Elastigirl. Several weeks ago, her super abilities were removed by an unknown weapon.”

The nurse’s eyes widened, and she nodded. “Noted. Thank you, miss…”

Evelyn hesitated, not knowing what the consequences would be if the hospital staff knew that the person who had brought Helen in had a history of villainy. The choice was taken away from her when she heard Helen weakly say “Evelyn?”

Evelyn looked over at her lover, who had one hand outstretched, reaching for her. Evelyn hurried to Helen’s side and took her hand. “Evelyn Deavor,” said Evelyn to the nurse who had asked her name. There was no look of horrified recognition on the nurse’s face; Evelyn let out a breath she hadn’t known she had been holding.

Helen was wheeled into a room, Evelyn following. Several tense hours followed as the hospital staff tried in vain to bring Helen’s fever down while running multiple tests. Helen didn’t want to let go of Evelyn’s hand; Evelyn noticed that some of the staff were giving her dirty looks when they saw the obvious closeness between the two women, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Eventually, the doctor who had been working with Helen came into the room, his expression too neutral to be natural. “We’ll have to move Mrs. Parr to the ICU,” he said. “We still have no answers about what’s causing her fever, and we’re starting to see signs of kidney failure. Our best guess is that this is some kind of reaction to the removal of her elasticity.”

“The ICU,” Evelyn repeated, her throat dry. “So you don’t know how to treat this?”

“We’ll do our best,” said the doctor. “We have to move her now. And only family will be allowed to visit. You can stay in the waiting room, Miss Deavor.”

“No.” Helen’s voice was a low, tormented moan. “No, I want Evelyn with me.”

Evelyn swallowed hard. She turned back to Helen and stroked her lover’s hair. “I don’t want to leave your side either, _cara_ , but I have to do something important.”

“What?” Helen whispered weakly.

Evelyn took a deep breath. “I have to figure out how to get your abilities back. I have to figure out how to save you."


	8. Narrative of Soul Against Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn teams up with Mr. Incredible to save Elastigirl's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My kitty is doing...okay. She still has great quality of life and is a happy girl, but I found a second tumor on her abdomen (after the last one was surgically removed) a few days ago. I need to get my girl to an oncologist. Please help: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-b039elanna-beat-lung-cancer

After Helen was transported to the ICU, the first thing Evelyn did was call her brother. “Hel--Elastigirl is dying,” she said bluntly before Winston had even gotten out a “hello.”

“What!?” Winston cried out. “How do you--”

“I’m sure you’ve heard about Reducto taking her powers, right?” Evelyn interrupted. “She’s been staying with me since that happened. I just brought her to the hospital. She has a fever that won’t go down, her kidneys are failing, and they just moved her to the ICU. The doctor said that the likeliest cause is the loss of her powers.”

Winston paused while he took in all of that. “Elastigirl has been staying with you?”

“That’s your takeaway?” Evelyn snapped. “Has the NSA made any progress in tracking down Reducto? We need to find him. We need to reverse the effect of whatever...whatever he did to Elastigirl to remove her powers.”

“Evelyn…” The lifeless tone of Winston’s voice made Evelyn’s heart sink. “Reducto’s a ghost, for all we can tell. He’s removed three other supers’ powers and we still have no leads.”

Evelyn leaned against the wall. “So…” She took a deep breath. “We have to find him.”

“Evelyn…” Winston sounded exhausted.

“No. We have to. She can’t die. Put me through to Mr. Incredible’s personal phone,” Evelyn demanded.

“Okay. Okay. But you have some explaining to do later.” Winston sounded like he was trying to warn Evelyn about something, and she wondered if Winston thought she had kidnapped Helen (again).

“I’ll explain everything later,” said Evelyn. “Emphasis on the later. Elastigirl doesn’t have time for me to tell you everything now.”

Winston sighed. “All right. Patching you through to Mr. Incredible’s line.”

The phone rang one and a half times before Evelyn heard “Mr. Incredible here. What--”

Evelyn cut him off. “Elastigirl is in the hospital. She’s dying. She needs you.”

“She what!?” The last time Evelyn had spoken to Mr. Incredible, he had sounded angry at the implication that Helen needed something from him; this time, he sounded terrified. “What happened?”

“She’s decompensating due to the removal of her powers,” said Evelyn. “She’s running a fever and her kidneys are failing, and God only knows what’s next. In order to save her, we have to get her powers back.”

“How?” he demanded. “We haven’t been able to find Reducto.”

“And you and I are going to track him down and force him to give Elastigirl’s powers back,” Evelyn insisted. Helen’s superhero name still felt strange in her mouth, and she grimaced as she spoke her next sentences. “I don’t know what you think of me, and I don’t care. But we have to track down Reducto. There’s no way he figured out how to remove super abilities without researching what causes the development of those abilities, so I bet I can figure who he is. But I’ll…” Evelyn bit back a sigh. “I’ll need your help.”

“So you figure out who he is, and I go after him,” Mr. Incredible extrapolated.

“That, and I need you to talk to the NSA for me,” replied Evelyn. “The judge not only put an ankle bracelet on me, he forbade me from any access to scientific institutions or literature, but I’ll need to see the latest literature on the cause of super abilities in order to find Reducto. My brother still has connections, but having an actual superhero saying that I need access to the latest research on the cause of superpowers in order to save another superhero would be pretty damn convincing.”

“Done,” said Mr. Incredible immediately. “So you need...research on the cause of superpowers? Why?”

Evelyn gnashed her teeth, but answered. “Reducto figured out how to reverse super abilities. In order for him to figure that out, he had to know what gives a person those abilities in the first place.”

“Makes sense,” Mr. Incredible agreed. “I’ll make some calls.”

“Meet me at Municiberg’s NSA office,” said Evelyn. 

“How do you know where--”

“My brother. Now, get a move on. We have to save Elastigirl.”

Not much later (but too long for Evelyn’s taste), she was in an unused office in Municiberg’s NSA office, standing over a table strewn with research papers, studying them intently and muttering to herself. Mr. Incredible stood awkwardly in a corner, having successfully gotten Evelyn the research she needed and now feeling slightly useless.

“Are you close to figuring it out?” asked Mr. Incredible for at least the tenth time.

“I will be closer if you could _shut the hell up for five seconds_ ,” Evelyn growled. “I think it has something to do with endogenous retroviruses…”

“Endo-what?” Mr. Incredible echoed, and Evelyn made a noise that was almost a growl.

“I need to focus on…” something caught Evelyn’s eye and she picked up a sheet of paper. “Wait…” She snapped her fingers with her free hand. “I’ve got it! All humans have genes for superhero abilities, but those genes are completely methylated in non-supers and some of them are acetylated in supers. Supers have endogenous retroviruses that cause histone acetylases to allow genes for super abilities to be expressed. So...so...Reducto must have done something to methylate all superhero genes, and anything that binds to DNA is...is...fuck...”

“Slow down,” insisted Mr. Incredible. “What are...everything you said?”

“We don’t have time for this, but _fine_ , I’ll explain it,” Evelyn sighed. “All humans have the genes for super abilities. It’s possible for genes to not be expressed if the DNA is coiled too tightly. That’s how super ability genes are for most people. But supers have a kind of virus called a retrovirus that can change the DNA so super abilities can be expressed. The retrovirus is genetically inherited, but...augh, damn, it looks like no one has figured out exactly how it works. Might be why you and Elastigirl have different powers than your kids, though. But _anyway_ , Reducto must have figured this out, which means he must be studying endogenous retroviruses. Endogenous retroviruses were only discovered two years ago, so that means there are only a few research institutions where Reducto could have been working.”

“Because he had to have been working on...on that kind of virus in order to figure out how to remove powers,” cried Mr. Incredible, understanding.

“Shit. Shit. Shit,” Evelyn muttered, shuffling through papers. “Okay, so the University of California - Municiberg has a lab that’s still open...but Patterson Laboratories closed down a few months ago. I bet that’s where he’s hiding.”

“Wait.” Mr. Incredible’s brow furrowed. “Why do you think he’s hiding in his old lab?” 

“He’d need a laboratory setting in order to create a device that can cause mutations in endogenous retroviruses,” said Evelyn. “We have to talk to Edna Mode. Maybe I can tell her what I’ve deduced about Reducto’s device and she can make you a suit that’s impervious to that ray gun. Then we track him down, and you beat the ever-loving shit out of him until he reverses what he did to Hel--to Elastigirl.”

“I like this plan.” Mr. Incredible’s voice was a low snarl.

“Can you contact Edna Mode?” Evelyn asked.

Mr. Incredible nodded. “I know her number by heart.”

Evelyn didn’t question that, only watched as Mr. Incredible picked up a phone that hung on the wall beside the door and dialed. “E? This is Mr. Incredible. Listen, Elastigirl is in terrible danger thanks to what Reducto did to her. Can you make me a suit that’s vulnerable to...uh…” He looked at Evelyn. “What is it again?”

“Mutagenic agents,” said Evelyn, and Mr. Incredible managed to repeat those words back to Edna. Evelyn was almost impressed.

“She says she developed a fabric that can do that years ago. She’ll have a suit ready in an hour.”

“I hope the fuck that’s not too long for Helen,” Evelyn muttered.

\---

“Goddamn,” Evelyn breathed as she gazed intently at the display. She was watching a live feed from a camera attached to Mr. Incredible’s suit as he skulked through the darkened remains of Patterson Laboratories. Rows upon rows of laboratory equipment greeted her eyes. “Everything he’d need to create that ray gun is here.”

“I wonder why all this was left here,” said Mr. Incredible _sotto voce_. 

“Wonder without making noise,” Evelyn snapped.

“Yes, good idea, Mr. Incredible,” said a low voice. Evelyn clapped a hand over her mouth as Mr. Incredible whipped around and the camera showed a man of average height and weight dressed in all black with a face mask and beanie. He was holding an enormous, wicked-looking gun. Evelyn swallowed. “Leave now, or I’ll take your powers.”

“Not after what you did to Elastigirl!” Mr. Incredible shouted.

“You’ll regret that,” snarled Reducto. He aimed his gun at Mr. Incredible and pulled the trigger; Mr. Incredible charged, bellowing wordlessly, completely unhindered by the resulting flash of light. “What…?” Reducto breathed, dropping the gun and ducking as Mr. Incredible’s fist came swinging at his face. His eyes widened as he scrambled away down a hallway, knocking lab equipment onto the floor as he ran.

“Get back here!” Mr. Incredible hollered, chasing after Reducto, barely able to keep his balance as he struggled over the impedimenta in his path.

“Get him!” Evelyn yelled. Her eyes widened in horror as Mr. Incredible stumbled, Reducto gaining speed. Light pierced the darkness of the display Evelyn was watching as Reducto swiped a card to open a door to the outside. Evelyn’s heart felt like it dropped into her stomach as she pictured Reducto escaping for good, vanishing with any hope of curing Helen. “ _No!_ ” Evelyn screamed, leaping to her feet.

The door slammed shut.

“What the--” Reducto yanked on the door, but it wouldn’t open. Evelyn’s eyes widened as she realized that she could feel the door in her mind, the currents running through the wires that kept it closed.

Mr. Incredible had frozen, seemingly just as shocked as Evelyn at the fact that Evelyn had just mentally used previously unknown superpowers to close the door from a distance. “Get him, you fucking meathead!” Evelyn screamed.

For his part, Mr. Incredible hastily got to his feet instead of taking issue with Evelyn’s insult. Evelyn let out a breath as Mr. Incredible reached out and seized Reducto by his shirt. “Now,” Mr. Incredible growled. “You’re going to change the settings on that gun of yours, and you’re going to give Elastigirl back her powers, and then you’re going to give Unblinking Eye, He-Lectrix, and Cerebra back their powers too.”

“I-I-I can’t!” Reducto wailed, his legs kicking as Mr. Incredible lifted him off the ground. “My gun only removes powers!”

“No!” Evelyn and Mr. Incredible cried in concert.

“There has to be a way,” Mr. Incredible insisted.

“Maybe, but I don’t know how! And you can’t make me!” Reducto’s voice was thin and pitiful.

“Bring that gun to me, Mr. Incredible,” Evelyn hissed. “I’ll figure it out if he won’t.”

“No!” Reducto shouted. “Superheroes are unnatural! The endogenous retroviruses--”

“Shut up,” Mr. Incredible snapped. “I don’t care why you did what you did. But now you’re going to undo it.”

Evelyn watched the feed obsessively as Mr. Incredible carried a protesting Reducto out to the Incredibile, restrained him with handcuffs, and drove him back to the Municiberg NSA outpost. When the feed showed Mr. Incredible pulling up to the office, Evelyn bolted to the front door, ignored several surprised shouts from NSA agents as she ran, and was there to open the door for Mr. Incredible. “Where’s the gun?” Evelyn demanded as Mr. Incredible manhandled Reducto through the door.

“Here.” Mr. Incredible hefted Reducto’s ray gun in one hand. Instead of asking for it, Evelyn reached for its electronic components with her mind, and the gun shuddered and floated over to Evelyn, who grabbed it.

“You’re one of them too!?” Reducto yelled. “You were my biggest inspiration!”

Evelyn felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach. “If Mr. Incredible kills you right now for what you did to Elastigirl, I’ll say you did it to yourself.” Her hands clutched the ray gun as she focused on its circuits. Reducto had said he didn’t know how to reverse its effect. Evelyn was no biologist, but she did know machines.

“Wait,” said Mr. Incredible. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to see if I can jury-rig a ‘reverse’ setting on this thing,” Evelyn replied.

“I don’t know if I trust you,” said Mr. Incredible.

“You don’t need to trust me; you just need to know that I want Elastigirl to have her powers back, because otherwise she’ll _die_ ,” snapped Evelyn. Mr. Incredible looked hesitant for a moment, but then nodded. “I’ll get you to the hospital.”

“Wait!” came a voice. Evelyn, Mr. Incredible, and Reducto looked up to see several NSA agents running down the hallway toward them. “Wait!” said the voice again, this time visibly coming from one of the agents, a brown-skinned man with oversized black glasses and a prosthetic arm. “You’ve caught Reducto? We need to take him into custody.”

“And drop that gun, Deavor,” said another agent, a pale woman with a dark French braid that looked so tight it hurt. When Evelyn didn’t move, the women cocked her gun and aimed it at Evelyn, and Evelyn both heard and saw several other agents doing the same. Evelyn swallowed, but tightened her grip on the gun.

“No. My brother worked for your organization. I know your type. You’ll just fuck around with paperwork and bureacracy while Elastigirl dies,” Evelyn snapped. “I can figure out how to save her. Just...let me go with Mr. Incredible. We’ll reverse Elastigirl’s super ability removal, and then you can arrest me or whatever. Just let m--us save her.”

The NSA agents looked at each other. Evelyn felt Mr. Incredible’s hand fall on her shoulder. “Please,” he said, almost begging. Evelyn felt her eyes widen. “Let me save her.”

Evelyn took issue with his choice of one of those personal pronouns, but she held her tongue. The agent with the French braid lowered her gun for a moment, then raised it again. “We don’t know if that...device will be dangerous to Elastigirl. You aren’t thinking clearly, Mr. Incredible, and Deavor, I don’t know _what_ you’re thinking,” she said. “Now hand over that gun.”

Evelyn closed her eyes and focused intently on the gun. _Reverse_ , she thought. _Reverse what you ordinarily do. Reverse it. Reverse. Reverse._ Reverse.

“I’m warning you!” shouted the NSA agent with the braid. Evelyn ignored her as the ray gun grew warm in her hand as its circuits rerouted and components shuffled. Evelyn gasped and nearly dropped it. Her eyes snapped open and she looked around at the scene: a small entryway filled with people, several of whom had guns aimed at her; Mr. Incredible, his mask not hiding his dismay; Reducto, still struggling uselessly against Mr. Incredible’s grip.

Evelyn found the trigger of the ray gun with one hand. She gripped its handle and turned it around, pointing it at herself. “Duck,” she said to Mr. Incredible, and he didn’t have to be told twice. Evelyn pulled the trigger. A pale blue ray erupted from the gun’s barrel, and Evelyn realized it had been useless to have Mr. Incredible duck as the light filled the room. Evelyn felt a horrible sensation, not quite like tingling and not quite like pain, flood her body. She strained to keep her grip on the gun, and then her vision blacked out, and she fought to stay awake and hold the gun all the way down.

\---

The sound of a gun cocking close to her ear woke Evelyn. She blinked and turned her head, and found herself staring down the battle of a handgun. “Don’t move, Deavor,” said the agent with the prosthetic. “If you’ve killed us all…”

“Run tests on me,” Evelyn croaked, barely able to get the words out.

The agent was temporarily lost for words. “What?”

“Run tests on me,” Evelyn repeated, her voice still weak but growing stronger. “I have...powers, or whatever they’re called. If I still have them, the device doesn’t remove powers, and if I’m healthy, the device wasn’t dangerous.”

“You’re crazy,” the NSA agent sniped, but she lowered and decocked her gun. Evelyn struggled to her feet and saw Mr. Incredible doing the same. 

He flexed both his hands. “I still have my powers,” he announced. “I’m going to the hospital.” He picked up the modified ray gun from where it had fallen at Evelyn’s feet. “The rest of you can follow me after you take _this_...” He nudged a still-unconscious Reducto with one foot. “...into custody.” With that, he turned and ran back to the Incredibile. Evelyn thought about following, but her body decided not to listen to her mind. Evelyn wondered blearily if she was exhausted from whatever Reducto’s device had done to her or if it was from using her powers (powers. She had _powers_ ) for the first time at age forty-two.

“Come with us,” said the agent, jerking her head, and Evelyn followed her. Two other NSA agents grabbed her and hustled her out of the building and into a car, which was driven to Lutheran General Hospital. As the agents continued to manhandle Evelyn, this time practically dragging her into the hospital, Evelyn thought about begging to see Helen, but she decided against it; they would say no, and she needed to be tested for the same kind of affliction that was endangering Helen immediately. Evelyn was herded to a hospital room, where an NSA doctor performed several examinations on her and then took blood samples, and then she was left alone to wait.

According to the clock in her room, Evelyn waited fifty-six minutes--in her opinion, that was fifty-five minutes too long--when the doctor, a dark-skinned woman with short, straight black hair, came back.

“Can I see Elastigirl?” was the first thing out of her mouth. 

The doctor frowned. “Your test results came back normal, except for some of the cellular markers for electricity superpowers.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” snapped Evelyn. “Can I see Elastigirl?”

“You have some kind of electricity superpowers,” the doctor continued. “You weren’t on record with the NSA as being a super, so either you had latent powers and the villain Reducto’s device did nothing to you, or the device gave you the powers. Either way, you’re also in perfect health. So the device is safe to use on Elastigirl…”

“So I can see her?”

The doctor’s frown deepened. “Yes, you can see her, but an NSA agent will be administering the ray to her.”

Evelyn managed to stand up. “What room is she in?”

“151C, but you’ll have to wait for an NSA escort,” said the doctor.

Evelyn opened her mouth to protest, but the two NSA agents Evelyn remembered from the NSA office came in. “We’re your escort, Deavor,” said the brown-skinned man. Evelyn’s lips thinned--she wasn’t wild about being escorted by two people who had pulled guns on her--but she needed to see Helen. She nodded to the two agents, who at least didn’t grab her arms again to lead her to room 151C.

Helen lay on her hospital bed, terrifyingly pale and still, surrounded by medical equipment. Evelyn swallowed hard and moved to sit on a chair beside the bed, looking across the bed at Mr. Incredible, who was seated beside his wife. Evelyn tried to ignore the sensation of a lead ball dropping in her stomach. “Where’s the NSA agent with Reducto’s gun?” Evelyn asked.

“Someone should be here soon,” said Mr. Incredible, his voice carrying all the impatience Evelyn was also feeling. They waited what seemed like an eternity but was actually a few minutes until an NSA agent Evelyn didn't recognize, a man who was so average-looking it was almost impressive, walked in carrying Reducto's ray gun. Evelyn's throat went dry.

"Mr. Incredible," said a white-coated man Evelyn hadn't noticed before, "you, as Elastigirl's husband, have medical power of attorney for situations like this. Do you consent to Agent Kinney using this unknown device to try to cure Elastigirl?"

"Of course," said Mr. Incredible hastily.

Agent Kinney pulled the trigger. The barrel had apparently been modified since Evelyn had last operated the device, because a tight pale blue ray issued forth, making contact with only Elastigirl, who twitched slightly. Evelyn suppressed the urge to reach for her lover's hand.

"And now," said the doctor, "we wait."

\---

Helen Parr floated in darkness. Occasionally she heard a voice or felt a strange twinge in one of her limbs, but mostly, she felt, heard, and saw nothing…

...until a bitterly familiar sound caught her attention: her husband, sobbing under his breath. She focused on the sound, and it became clearer, and eventually she was able to open her eyes.

She was lying on a bed in a painfully white hospital room. There were two other people in the room with her: on her right was her lover, Evelyn Deavor, her head bowed as if in sleep; on her left was her husband, Robert Parr, holding one of her hands and trying to stifle his sobs.

Helen’s stirring alerted both of them, matching expressions of shock and relief on their faces. “Honey? Is it really you?” asked Bob at the same time as Evelyn said “ _Cara_ , how do you feel?”

“Bob!” Helen cried, flinging her arms around her husband, and they stretched to wrap around him three times. She pressed her face into his shoulder, weeping openly, and he hugged her tightly. “I missed you so much,” Helen sobbed.

“I missed you too,” Bob got out, his voice so choked that Helen could barely understand him.

“Can I come home now?” Helen pleaded, heart in her throat. “I need you. I need to see Vi and Dash and Jack-Jack. Please, can I come home?”

“Of course you can,” cried Bob. “You’re yourself again.”

“ _Cara_?” said Evelyn hesitantly, and Helen froze. Bob had no idea about her...unusual sexuality. He had pushed her away for not being “herself” when she had lost her powers; what would he say if he knew about her relationship with Evelyn? As far as Bob knew, Helen was the kind of woman who would never think of sharing a kiss, let alone a bed, with another woman. Evelyn had to leave, and she had to leave _now_ , before she said anything compromising.

“Evelyn, I think you should go. Maybe we can still be friends, but you should go,” said Helen hastily, not letting go of her husband or looking at Evelyn.

There was a long pause before Evelyn spoke. “...what?” Her voice was small and didn’t sound like her.

Helen felt a brief twinge, but she continued. “I want to be alone with my husband. Please.”

There was a metallic scraping sound as Evelyn got to her feet. “Fine,” Evelyn snapped. “ _You_...” Helen turned her head slightly to see Evelyn jabbing an index finger at Bob. “Take good care of her.”

Bob didn’t say anything as Evelyn stormed out, and Helen laid her head on Bob’s shoulder again, eyes closed, secure in the knowledge that at last, at long last, she was going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not over, folks! Helen has her powers back, but I wouldn't leave the story off here.


	9. Of Greetings and Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen is back with her family, but she can't shake the feeling of missing her ex-lover.

When she wrapped her arms around her children for the first time in months, Helen Parr wept so hard it hurt. She didn’t want to let go, and even Dash didn’t struggle against her embrace, even as time dragged on. Bob tearfully regaled his family with his tale of saving Helen from the supervillain and his bioweapon, and Helen didn’t correct him, even though Bob had told her about Reducto’s ray gun; the children couldn’t know about Helen losing her powers.

Bob didn’t want to leave her side; he even turned down a hero work assignment that would have taken him away from his family the following week. As many times as he said he had missed Helen, he didn’t apologize for how he had behaved when Helen had lost her powers; Helen didn’t ask him to apologize, nor did she particularly care now that she was home.

Helen threw herself headlong into reestablishing a routine with her family, and Bob and her children followed her example (although she had to shrug off many difficult questions from Violet about her time away from her family).

Everything would have been completely normal if not for the box Evelyn had sent.

A few days after Helen came home from the hospital, a large box arrived for Helen with Evelyn's name in the return address. In it was everything Evelyn had bought for Helen, including the journal Helen had kept during her stay with Evelyn.

There was no note.

Helen put the clothes away in her dresser and closet, wondering if she would ever be comfortable wearing them; she thought she wouldn’t mind wearing something Evelyn had bought for her, but she wasn’t sure what she would say if Bob asked where she had gotten it. She shelved the books, even reading some of them while Dash and Violet were at school and Jack-Jack was napping. It was harder to decide what to do with the journal; she didn’t want any of her family members reading it, but she couldn’t stand to get rid of it. In the end, she placed it on a shelf in an unobtrusive place in hers and Bob’s bedroom.

The reminders of Evelyn were impossible to ignore. Even if she weren’t seeing the clothes Evelyn had given her in her closet every morning or reading the books Evelyn had bought her when she had down time, there were reminders in her mind and body. When she woke in the morning and went into the kitchen, it felt strange that Evelyn wasn’t there to greet her with a hot cup of coffee and a warm kiss. When she stretched an arm to reach a high spot and felt an ache or a twinge as her body readjusted to being elastic after months without her powers, she found herself thinking that she would love a massage from Evelyn.

It was several weeks after she had regained her powers that she had a dream involving Evelyn.

It wasn’t a particularly lurid dream; it was a fairly ordinary nonsensical sequence of events, as dreams tend to be, but Evelyn was present. Helen remembered the sound of Evelyn laughing when she woke up.

After Dash and Violet had been hustled off to school, Bob entertained Jack-Jack while Helen cleaned the kitchen, and Helen still couldn’t get the dream out of her head. Hours later, Jack-Jack was napping (finally), and Helen headed into her bedroom and retrieved the journal she had kept while staying with Evelyn.

Helen’s hands shook slightly as she leafed through the journal. She stopped at a random page and read:

_I feel a little better today, both physically and mentally. Evelyn gave me a full-body massage for the first time last night, and my body always feels better after a massage. Evelyn is a good masseuse._

_I think I also feel a little better today mentally because of last night. Evelyn and I slept together for the first time. She gave me a massage because I wasn’t able to sleep, and I didn’t want her to stop touching me. I wasn’t sure how sex would work between two women, but Evelyn certainly knew what she was doing. She said that I was her first, but she must have read about the subject. She was very kind and gentle. While she had her fingers inside me, she encouraged me to tell her that I was still myself even without my powers. She made me feel so good. When it was my turn, I was afraid I wouldn’t know what I was doing, but I was able to please her._

_While Evelyn and I were in bed together, I almost forgot that I didn’t have my powers. When we were finished, though, I felt guilty, like I had cheated on Bob. Evelyn held me and insisted that I hadn’t done anything wrong because Bob had left me. Evelyn held me until I felt better, and then we drank some hot apple cider, and then we lay close until we fell asleep._

_This morning was almost more significant than our sex; Evelyn asked me for my Hebrew name so she could recite the Mi Shebeirach for me. She recited the prayer while I lay with my head in her lap. I think I cried. Evelyn continues to surprise me; she was so cruel and angry when she was trying to prevent superhero work from becoming legal again, but she treats me with so much kindness now. She said she had been waiting a long time for me, and I almost cried again._

_Evelyn and I are going to recite the Shema together tonight. I hope we can sleep together again tonight, or at least soon. If I have to be without my powers and separated from my family, thank G-d I have Evelyn._

Helen set the journal down, blinking back tears. “Evelyn…” she whispered, barely audible. “I’m sorry.” She reshelved the journal and took several deep breaths, trying to steady herself before going back downstairs to her husband.

That night, unable to sleep, Helen crept into the kitchen and dialed the number for information and asked to be connected to Evelyn Deavor. The phone rang four times before Evelyn picked up, and when she spoke, her voice sounded cold and distant. Helen hardly recognized it. “Deavor residence.”

“Evelyn?” Helen whispered. “It’s Helen.”

There was a long pause before Evelyn spoke again, and there was still no warmth in her voice. “Did I forget to include something in the box of stuff I sent you?”

“Not that I know of,” said Helen. “I just wanted to hear your voice. I wanted to talk to you.”

“Why?” asked Evelyn bluntly.

Helen swallowed. “I miss you.”

“You miss me?” Evelyn’s voice was angry. “You’re the one who promised we could stay together after you got your powers back, but then decided to blow me off. And you know what? I can’t even be that upset about that. I knew you would change your mind about me. But you didn’t even thank me for taking care of you. For saving your life.”

“I…” Helen trailed off as she tried to remember what she had said to Evelyn about the nature of their relationship back in the hospital.

“I’ll never forget what you said. You said ‘I think you should go. Maybe we can still be friends, but you should go,’” Evelyn spat. “No ‘thank you’. No ‘I’m sorry.’”

Helen leaned against the wall. “Can I say ‘I’m sorry’ now?”

Evelyn sniffed. “Only if you mean it.”

“I mean it,” Helen insisted. “And...thank you. You took good care of me. And Bob didn’t tell me anything about you saving me.”

Evelyn sighed. “I don’t blame you. You were with your husband, who you had been missing like hell, trying to figure out what to say to the woman you’d been fucking.”

Helen flinched at Evelyn’s choice of words. “What happened? When I was unconscious in the hospital, I mean. Bob told me that he defeated Reducto, but he...he has trouble with the truth sometimes. I want to hear how you and he saved me. In your words.”

Evelyn didn’t reply right away. “When you were unconscious, I called your husband. I told him that we needed to figure out how to get your powers back or you’d die. He called the NSA. They agreed to grant me temporary access to recent research because I knew Reducto had to have done something to fuck up your DNA, so I had to figure out where he’d done that. Long story short, I figured out which lab he was working out of. Asked your husband to get Edna Mode to make him a suit that would be invulnerable to what Reducto was doing. Your husband went into the lab wearing a camera with me watching. Reducto was pretty helpless once he realized he couldn’t depower your husband, but he almost got away, and that’s how I figured out...I have powers.”

“You _what?_ ” Helen cried. She clapped a hand over her mouth, hoping her shout hadn’t woken anyone. “Evelyn, you have powers?”

“The NSA tested me. It would seem the best description of my abilities is ‘technokinesis’. I can control pretty much anything with circuits. It’s some kind of sub-type of electricity powers, apparently? They’ve never seen anything like it. But Reducto opened a door that was controlled by a switch to escape, and he’d have gotten out if I hadn’t slammed it shut. Apparently I have a hell of a range on my powers, too. The NSA even had to lock me up for a few days while they figured out how to redesign my ankle bracelet so I couldn’t remove it.” Evelyn paused while Helen tried and failed to figure out what to say. “Your husband caught Reducto and forced him to bring his depowering gun back to the NSA. The asshole didn’t even know how to reprogram it to give powers back. So I figured it out, with the help of my powers.”

“You...gave me my powers back?” Helen extrapolated.

“Sort of. The NSA didn’t trust me, though, and I was afraid you were going to die while they were testing the reprogrammed gun, so I tested it on myself.”

Helen felt a lead ball drop in her stomach. “Wasn’t that dangerous?”

“You were _dying_ , Helen,” said Evelyn pointedly. “Since I apparently have powers now, it didn’t do anything, but more importantly, it didn’t hurt me. So an NSA official used the reprogrammed gun on you, and you got better.”

“You were there when I woke up,” said Helen softly. “Did you…”

“I waited while you were recovering. I had Win feed Sabina while I was at the hospital.”

Helen blinked back tears. “Bob didn’t tell me a lot of that. Most of that. Any of it related to you.”

“Not surprised,” said Evelyn bitterly. “Anyway, Win will be glad you called. Now that I have powers and since I can’t do anything about superheroes being legal, I thought that superhero training could be a thing. You’d be a good teacher for that. Win loves the idea. He wants to open a superhero training center.”

“A training center?” Helen repeated.

“Yeah. Win has a location in mind, too. But the NSA would have to approve my ability to get to that location, because it’s currently out of the range where I’m allowed.”

“I can testify for you,” said Helen immediately. “I can tell the NSA you took care of me. That you saved my life. Maybe then they’ll extend the range where you’re allowed.”

Evelyn paused. “You’d do that?”

“Of course,” said Helen softly.

“Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?” Evelyn asked. “You didn’t really call just because you missed me, did you?”

Helen bit her lower lip. “I’d like to hear your voice more. I really did call because I missed you.”

Evelyn sniffed. “If your husband heard that, he’d rip my vocal folds out.”

“I’m probably going to tell him I miss you,” Helen said softly. “I tell him everything.”

“Jesus, Helen, are you trying to get me killed?” Evelyn sounded more exhausted than anything else.

“I’m going to tell him that I didn’t want to break up our marriage, but...I also want to get back together with you,” said Helen, her voice low. She hadn’t realized the words were true until they left her mouth.

“You really are trying to get me killed,” Evelyn groaned.

“He might be okay with it because he’s so happy just to have me back,” Helen protested. “And I think he’d be okay with us working together at the training center.”

Evelyn didn’t reply right away. “It might be easier for me to just stay away from you. But I told Win I’d do this training center thing, so...I’ll try.”

“Okay,” Helen whispered. “What about...what about me testifying for you?”

“I’ll talk to my lawyer. You’ll get a summons, or whatever the hell it’s called.” Evelyn sighed. “Thank you, I guess.”

“You’re welcome.” Helen paused. “Evelyn?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you...miss me too?”

There was a long pause before Evelyn answered. “Stupid question, _ca_ \--Helen. Of course I miss you.” Helen fought back a sob, but before she was able to say anything in reply, Evelyn spoke up again. “Guess I should let you go. You don’t want to be tired when dealing with three super kids in the morning.”

Helen didn’t want to stop hearing Evelyn’s voice, but she said “Okay. When can we talk again?”

“Not until you tell your husband that you want to talk to me,” said Evelyn dully. “Maybe when you give your deposition on my behalf.”

Helen closed her eyes. “I’ll talk to my husband.”

“Okay. ‘Night, Helen.”

“Good night, Evelyn,” Helen murmured. She listened to the dry _click_ of Evelyn hanging up and nearly broke into sobs again, but instead, she hung up the phone, walked up the stairs, climbed back into bed beside her slumbering husband, and continued fighting back tears until she finally fell asleep.

\---

Helen’s court summons came a few weeks later, by which time she still hadn’t had the courage to admit to Bob that she had had a romantic relationship with Evelyn. Still, he supported Helen giving a deposition on Evelyn’s behalf. Helen suspected that Evelyn’s role in returning her powers had something to do with that, although Bob still hadn't acknowledged how instrumental Evelyn had been in saving Helen.

On the day of the deposition, Helen waited for hours outside the courtroom, feeling only a bit silly in her supersuit. Eventually, she was called (by her superhero name), and she walked into the courtroom, relieved. Only a few people were inside; a gray-haired judge in a black robe at the bench, a younger man with large blue eyes and a crisp suit--the NSA’s lawyer, Michael Bertucci--and Winston and Evelyn sitting in the front row, Winston in a dark blue suit and Evelyn in a modest black dress with a gold belt and earrings. Evelyn’s hair looked less messy than usual, but not what Helen would call neat. Helen took her place in the witness box, from where she could see the Deavor siblings’ faces. Winston was looking at her hopefully, and Evelyn…

Evelyn was milk pale, her blue eyes glazed and staring into the middle distance, and there were dark lines beneath them. Her face had an almost pinched look to it, as if she had rapidly lost weight that she hadn’t had to lose in the first place. Helen hardly recognized the woman who had been her lover.

“Elastigirl,” said Bertucci, “we have heard testimony from Evelyn Deavor that she served as your caretaker for several weeks while you were incapacitated.”

Helen looked at Evelyn, who may as well not have heard the lawyer’s words. “Yes,” said Helen. “I stayed with Miss Deavor after Kurt Marcus, also known as the supervillain Reducto, used a device to remove my superpowers.”

“And you chose to stay with Miss Deavor despite her history of villainy, including kidnapping you?” Bertucci asked.

“During the...kidnapping, Miss Deaver expressed remorse for her villainous actions. She provided me with food and water before returning me to my home,” Helen demurred. “I believed she genuinely wanted to make amends.” She kept her eyes on Evelyn as she spoke; Evelyn didn’t react.

“And this...remorse led you to believe that staying with her while you were without your powers was the best option?” the lawyer pressed.

“That’s personal,” said Helen firmly. “I thought we were here to talk about Miss Deavor’s behavior, not mine.”

The lawyer looked irritated. “Miss Deavor is a known hypnotist; unless I’m mistaken, she hypnotized you. Did you choose to stay with Miss Deavor of your own free will, or was hypnosis involved?”

“There was no hypnosis involved,” said Helen, unable to keep the edge out of her voice. “Staying with Miss Deavor was entirely my choice.”

The lawyer looked even more annoyed, but moved on. “In that case, could you describe Miss Deavor’s behavior toward you while you were staying with her?”

“When I first arrived at Miss Deavor’s residence, I was...despondent,” said Helen. “I didn’t want to do anything but lie in bed. She made sure I ate and bathed. Once I was feeling better, she bought me new clothes, since I didn’t feel comfortable wearing most materials without my powers. She learned to cook meals for me. She even adopted a cat to help provide me with emotional support.” Helen paused. “She was an excellent caretaker.”

“Did she encourage you to have contact with the outside world, or did she try to isolate you while she was ‘taking care’ of you?” Bertucci asked.

Helen frowned. “I didn’t want to talk to anyone else. But she encouraged me to speak to my family.”

“What else did Miss Deavor do to provide care and support?” the lawyer asked.

“Bought me books,” said Helen. “And not only did she cook for me, we cooked together. She taught me a family recipe for carrot salad. She...comforted me when I had nightmares. Not to mention she saved my life.”

“She saved your life?” Bertucci repeated.

Helen nodded, twisting her hands in her lap. “Not only did she bring me to the hospital as soon as I began decompensating, she was the one who figured out Reduc--er, Kurt Marcus’ method for removing superpowers, and she was able to reverse it. Without her, I wouldn’t be here.”

Bertucci nodded. He asked Helen a few more questions, but he seemed convinced. He went back to his seat.

“Well, I’m satisfied,” said the judge. “Evelyn Deavor, the range of your permitted movements is hereby extended to 5 miles in addition to certain routes that will be further specified by the NSA. However, you are still barred from all institutions of scientific research. These proceedings are adjourned." The judge banged his gavel.

Evelyn's head bowed slightly; Winston hugged her, and she hugged him back, the gesture stiff and mechanical.

Helen stepped down from the witness box and walked over to the Deavor siblings. Winston shook her hand emphatically with both of his hands. “Thank you,” he said earnestly.

“I just told the truth,” said Helen. She looked over Winston’s shoulder at Evelyn. She was even thinner than Helen remembered her being, her collarbones and cheekbones alarmingly protuberant. She was still staring emptily into the middle distance, even as she said dully, “Thanks. Now we can start working on the training center.”

Helen rested a hand on Evelyn’s shoulder; Evelyn didn’t respond. “Evelyn, can we find somewhere private to talk?”

Evelyn’s gaze found Helen’s face for the first time that day. “Are you the only super here?”

Helen understood that Evelyn was asking if her husband was around. “Yes,” she said. “Maybe we can go to the women’s bathroom?”

Evelyn nodded. She looked over at Winston and said, “I won’t be long.” Winston gave his sister’s shoulder a squeeze.

Evelyn followed Helen to the women’s restroom. There was a small vestibule before the room containing the stalls; Helen paused there and took Evelyn’s hand. “Hey,” she said softly. “Can I hug you?”

“Only if you’re okay with me crying all over you,” said Evelyn, her voice still cold and distant.

Helen took that as a “yes.” She wrapped her arms around Evelyn the way she had wanted to when she hadn’t had her powers, her arms encircling the other woman three times, one hand cradling the back of Evelyn’s head. She had forgotten how soft Evelyn’s hair was.

Evelyn rested her head on Helen’s shoulder. Helen could feel Evelyn trembling, but she still said nothing.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Helen whispered.

“Missed you too,” said Evelyn, her voice choked. “You might want to let go of me, though. Don’t want anyone seeing us.”

Reluctantly, Helen unwrapped her arms from Evelyn, who went to the vanity and used a paper towel to wipe her face. “Thank god for waterproof makeup, right?” said Evelyn grimly.

Helen swallowed. “You’re so thin. Have you been eating?” Evelyn shrugged, and Helen continued. “I taught you how to cook a few things...”

“Making those things reminds me of you,” said Evelyn bluntly. “It’s easier if I don’t think about you.”

“Evelyn…” Helen began, but Evelyn cut her off again.

“I’m fine. Okay, I’m not fine, but I will be. Most people deal with their first breakup when they’re teenagers, or maybe when they’re in their twenties. I’m dealing with it now.” Evelyn took a deep breath. “I’ll get over it.”

Helen’s throat felt dry. “What’s your Hebrew name?” she asked softly.

Evelyn snickered. “Planning on reciting the Mi Shebeirach for me?”

“Yes.”

Evelyn didn’t say anything for a moment. “I’m not sick. Just...sad.”

“It can also be recited for emotional challenges,” Helen reminded her, and a ghost of a smile appeared on Evelyn’s face.

“And I thought you didn’t practice much,” said Evelyn.

“I still recite the Shema now,” Helen replied, her voice soft.

Evelyn sighed. “Tikva Amarli. My Hebrew name is Tikva Amarli. Mom’s...” Evelyn’s voice caught and she cleared her throat. “Mom’s was Esther. Just Esther.”

“Tikva Amarli,” Helen repeated. “That’s pretty.”

“I should go,” said Evelyn. “Now that we can plan the super training center, Win’s going to want us to get started. And I don’t want him to...suspect anything. About us, I mean. I think he already thinks something’s up.”

“You’re not...um…” Helen floundered for words.

“I’m not out to him, no,” said Evelyn. “I’ve already lost my parents, and you. I don’t want to lose Win too.”

“You really think he’d reject you?” asked Helen. “He loves you.”

“He loves DevTech,” said Evelyn. “He’s trying to push this...this redemption arc story for me now, with the training center and saving you and everything. That way he can bring me back on as designer. But there’s no redemption arc for being gay, unless you count conversion therapy, and I’m not doing that.” She headed for the door. “I’ll pet Sabina for you.”

“Bye, Evelyn,” said Helen softly, watching her ex-lover go.


	10. Torch Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evelyn and Helen try to navigate their post-breakup friendship as they work together to teach a class at the superhero training center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the story's back!
> 
> My cat is having another surgery next month. Please help if you can: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-an-esa-kitty-beat-mammary-cancer#:~:text=%24300%20raised%20of%20%244%2C661%20goal&text=B'Elanna%20Torbico%20Slavik%2DZinzani,emotional%20support%20animal%20(ESA).

Helen had barely gotten home from giving her deposition and changed back into her civilian clothes when she heard a loud, thumping knock on the front door. She gasped aloud; she had almost forgotten that her niece Mimi had called her abruptly the night before and said she was coming to visit to check on Helen after not hearing from her since Evelyn had called Truax Farms. Dash, naturally, beat Helen to the door. “Oh my god, you must be Dash!” Mimi cried when he opened the door. “Last time I saw you, you were a baby! How old are you now?”

“Uh,” said Dash slowly, “who are you?”

“Mimi!” Helen cried, racing down the steps to sweep her niece into her arms and kiss her cheek. “How are you?”

Mimi squeezed Helen hard. “More important question; how are _you_ , Hel?” Concern permeated her voice.

Helen worried her lower lip between her teeth, aching to tell someone the truth but not wanting to admit how broken she was feeling in front of her 10-year-old son. But before she could say anything to Mimi, Mimi’s face contorted with rage and she pushed past Helen. “ _You,_ ” Mimi spat at Bob, who was descending the staircase. “Robert Alan Parr! I am going to cram my foot so far up your ass you’ll be tasting sneaker sole for a week!”

Dash’s mouth dropped open and Helen stretched an arm to grip Mimi’s shoulder as Mimi started toward Bob. “Mimi, wait!” Helen cried out. She eyed Dash, who was now looking just as puzzled as he was shocked. She stepped closer to Mimi and whispered in her ear. “The kids don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?” Mimi demanded.

“ _That I lost my powers,_ ” Helen hissed, quietly enough that Dash wouldn’t hear her.

The mottled color of Mimi’s wrath-reddened cheeks began to abate. She looked at Dash, having seemingly forgotten that he was there, and then back up at Bob. “I’ll deal with _you_ later,” she snapped, then turned back to Dash. Helen stretched an arm to close the front door as Mimi spoke to her cousin. “Hey. I’m Mimi, your cousin.” Mimi held out a hand to Dash, who shook Mimi’s hand a bit hesitantly.

“Our cousin?” Dash’s eyes widened. “Do you have powers?”

In response, Mimi transformed her mouth and nose to become a dog’s red-gold muzzle, and a pair of massive corgi ears appeared on top of her head.

“ _Whoa!_ ” Dash shouted, grinning. “Are you a werewolf!?”

Mimi transformed her face back to its fully human form and laughed. “Not exactly. I can turn into a corgi. But I do have a form that looks a lot like a werewolf!”

Dash’s mouth dropped open again. “I wanna see!” he insisted. “I wanna see the werewolf form!”

“Maybe later,” said Helen. “Mimi only just arrived. We should be good hosts.” She put an arm around Mimi’s shoulders. “It’s good to see you, Shadow,” she said warmly.

“You too, Light,” said Mimi with a smile. Helen led Mimi to the kitchen; Mimi flipped Bob off as she passed him; Helen was asking Mimi about goings-on at Truax Farms and didn’t notice. Mimi rushed through her introduction to Violet, promising to answer all of Violet’s difficult questions about why she had never met Mimi before later, and insisted upon speaking to Bob privately. Helen insisted on being in the room.

“I can’t _fucking_ believe you,” Mimi snarled at a rather abashed-looking Bob as soon as they were alone, Dash and Violet having been ordered to their rooms to do homework. “How could you abandon your wife like that, you complete flaming asshole!?”

“I don’t know if ‘abandon’ is the right word,” said Bob hesitantly, scratching the back of his head as Helen called out “Language!”

“It absofuckinglutely is the right word!” Mimi bellowed. She looked around briefly and stretched an arm, mimicking Helen’s powers, to grab a heavy book off a bookshelf. She made as if to throw it at Bob; Helen quickly moved so she was between her niece and her husband, cutting off Mimi’s trajectory.

“Mimi,” said Helen, her voice thick with exhaustion, “let’s not do this.”

“What!?” Mimi demanded. “After what he did to you…!?”

“Mimi, please.” Helen put her hands on Mimi’s shoulders. “I’m happy you’re here, but if anyone needs to yell at my husband, I’ll do it. Okay?”

Mimi frowned, not sure what Helen meant by that last sentence. “Light…”

“It’s okay, Mimi,” Helen insisted. “Really. Let’s not talk about this. Why don’t I show you the guest rooms and you can pick which one you want to stay in?”

Mimi shot one more venomous look at Bob as she let Helen lead her away. “Are you okay, Light?” Mimi pressed as they climbed the stairs to the story where the bedrooms were.

“I’m tired,” said Helen truthfully. “I had my deposition today.”

“Deposition?” Mimi repeated, and Helen briefly filled Mimi in on the plans for the superhero training center and the need for Evelyn to be allowed at the location of the center. “I’m still not sold on this Evelyn Deavor,” sighed Mimi. “Do you think she had some kind of...ulterior motive for taking care of you?”

 _No. She loves me._ “I really don’t think so,” said Helen. “We’re going to co-teach a class, so if she does have some kind of ulterior motive, I’ll figure it out.”

Mimi looked unconvinced, but she nodded. “Okay, Hel.”

-

The superhero training center had two opening days: the day it was opened to the first supers who were planning on teaching there or taking classes, and the day the center’s true mission was revealed to the public. On the first opening day, Helen showed up exactly thirty-four minutes before Bob, not wanting there to be any apparent association between Elastigirl and Mr. Incredible. Helen offered to go first, and she would have been lying had she not been at least partially motivated by her desire to be alone with Evelyn.

When Helen walked into the training center’s gray, austere atrium, Evelyn was there with her brother, poring over plans and schedules. Her angular features were even sharper than Helen remembered, and she was so thin within her loose sweater that she seemed hardly to exist at all.

Helen cleared her throat and the Deavors looked up. “Elastigirl!” said Winston delightedly, and Evelyn’s eyes lit up, but she only nodded a hello. “How are you?”

“Good, thanks,” said Helen, not taking her eyes off of Evelyn, who looked away. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great!” Winston grinned. “Excited to see what you come up with!”

“I’m a little nervous that I won’t be able to come up with anything,” Helen confessed. “How are you, Evelyn? You look thin.”

“Always the mom, aren’t you?” Evelyn sighed irritably. “I’m hanging in there.”

Helen swallowed. “I hope you have ideas for Damage Minimization, because I’ve had trouble brainstorming.”

Helen thought she might have seen a brief smile on Evelyn’s face. “I have some ideas.”

Evelyn did indeed have plenty of ideas, which she showed to Helen while Winston greeted the other supers who arrived. Many of Evelyn’s lesson plans were rooted in physics that Helen had never learned about, and yet everything Evelyn said made sense when she showed Helen the diagrams she had drawn. “I knew you were a designer,” said Helen, “but I didn’t know you were such a good artist.”

Evelyn’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “I only took a couple of studio art classes.”

“You studied art?” Helen asked, edging closer to Evelyn, ostensibly to look closer at one of Evelyn’s drawings. She snuck a quick glance at Evelyn’s face, which was even redder, the blush standing out almost obscenely on Evelyn’s pallid skin.

Evelyn cleared her throat and took a step away from Helen. “Just for a couple of years. I changed my major to computer science the first year it was offered at my school.”

Helen could sense that the right thing to do was nod and return her attention to the diagrams; keep it professional. But instead, what came out of her mouth was “Where did you go to school?”

“Why do you care?” Far from sounding angry, Evelyn’s voice was heavy with exhaustion. “I mean, does it matter? Think someone’s going to ask why they should be listening to me if I didn’t go to Yale?”

“No,” said Helen softly. “I just...want to know things about you.”

Evelyn’s eyes closed and her brow furrowed. “Elastigirl…” she began, but they were interrupted by the squeaking noise of the door swinging open and Winston brightly saying “Mr. Incredible! So nice to see you!”

Evelyn visibly tensed, or at least she tensed visibly only to someone who knew her extremely well. Helen noticed. She had to still her natural reaction, which was to reach out for Evelyn to calm her. Instead, she offered a polite nod to her husband; when they were in their supersuits and in the presence of people who didn’t know they were married, they were careful to act merely cordial with each other. Helen felt a small smile come to her lips as she remembered when she and Bob used to be young and careless enough to flirt in front of the criminals they were fighting.

“Ladies,” said Bob neutrally. “What are you working on?”

“Damage Minimization,” said Helen and Evelyn in concert, and Evelyn cleared her throat again and spoke further. “Rudimentary kinematics lessons combined with techniques for using your newfound knowledge of kinematics to inflict minimal damage on...well, everything. People you’re saving, buildings, et cetera. I’m sure Elastigirl will have plenty of useful stuff to teach.” Her voice had sounded cold and dead since Helen had greeted her that day, but there was a little life in her delivery when she spoke the last sentence.

“Oh, stop,” said Helen with a smile.

“Is that what your charts say?” said Bob, openly cross. Helen shot him a warning look.

“Yeah,” said Evelyn, her voice revealing nothing but flat matter-of-factness; Helen thought she saw one of Evelyn’s hands begin to tremble. “Of all of the supers still alive from the Golden Age, Elastigirl has the lowest price tag on the damage she caused while doing hero work.”

“Oh,” said Bob, the dismay on his face obvious at the reminder of how many superheroes Syndrome had slaughtered. Helen thought of her former friend Apogee and a lump rose in her throat.

“My brother says you’ll be teaching Combat Skills,” Evelyn continued. Bob nodded, but he still looked somewhat distressed. Helen made a mental note to share an extra hug with him after he got home; he had had no time to process the discovery he had made on Nomanisan that Syndrome had practically wiped out their entire generation of American supers.

“Can I get everyone’s attention, please?” Winston called loudly, and everyone turned to face him. “Hello and welcome, supers!” He was speaking into a microphone, but it didn’t seem to be amplifying his voice. He frowned and tapped it with a fingertip. “Evelyn…?”

Evelyn made a small gesture with her chin and the microphone crackled to life. “Ah, there we go!” said Winston into the now-working microphone. Several mouths dropped open, and many pairs of eyes turned toward Evelyn.

“I’m technokinetic,” said Evelyn by way of explanation, in the same tone of voice one might use to remark that it was rather cloudy.

“You were a super this whole time?” He-Lectrix demanded. Helen vaguely recalled hearing that He-Lectrix had been targeted by Reducto as well. She wondered if he knew that Evelyn had been instrumental to his getting his powers back.

“Difficult to say,” said Evelyn breezily. “Powers showed up in a moment of extreme stress unlike which I had never experienced before.”

Helen’s throat went dry at the thought that Evelyn’s “moment of extreme stress” wasn’t her defeat at the hands of supers or even her impending death when she had fallen from her jet, but when she had been afraid Helen would die.

“Fun fact,” interjected Winston, “Evelyn’s powers were crucial to her assistance of Mr. Incredible in the defeat of the supervillain Reducto, _and_ she reprogrammed Reducto’s weapon to give those of you targeted by him back your powers.”

There was some scattered applause; Evelyn nodded deeply, acknowledging it.

“So here we are!” said Winston with a dramatic sweep of his arm. “For those of you who are going to be teaching, I can’t wait to see what you come up with! For those of you who will be signing up for classes, I hope you will find them educational!”

That was the end of the speech; people began milling about, and Winston walked among them, glad-handing. The grip and grin, Helen thought with a small, sad smile. She looked around, but Evelyn was nowhere to be found. Helen maneuvered herself through the crowd, looking for Evelyn, but was stopped by Voyd literally running into her.

“Oh, sorry!” Voyd blushed darkly, the redness of her cheeks rivaling Evelyn’s blush from earlier. Helen felt a brief twinge in her heart and she wasn’t sure why.

“You’re good,” Helen assured her. “How are you?”

“Okay,” replied Voyd, her voice nearly squeaking with nervousness. 

Helen tried to give Voyd a reassuring smile. “Nervous?” Helen queried gently.

“Yeah,” Voyd admitted, scratching at one elbow. “This is my first superhero...type...thing since we met at DevTech.”

Helen extended her arms to Voyd, who gratefully stepped into a quick but tight hug. “Which classes are you looking to take?” Helen asked, hoping giving Voyd a specific topic would make conversing easier for the young super.

“Well, Damage Minimization, of course, because you’re teaching it,” said Voyd, grinning. “Maybe the meditation class.”

Helen kept talking with Voyd for a while longer, but she felt her attention forcibly wandering, wondering where Evelyn was. Eventually, Brick tapped Voyd’s shoulder and Voyd turned away from Helen to talk to Brick about potentially co-teaching a class, and Helen scanned the room. There was no sign of Evelyn.

Helen went home, unable to focus and also unable to do any lesson planning without her co-teacher, and called Evelyn a few hours later. Evelyn picked up on the fifth ring. “Deavor residence.”

“Evelyn?” Helen asked, barely able to keep a “sweetie” or “honey” out of her mouth. “It’s Helen.”

Evelyn sighed. “You’re mad that I left early.”

“Not mad,” Helen demurred. “But I wanted to talk to you. We have to make lesson plans.”

“Yeah, I…” Evelyn trailed off. “Sorry. I wanted to work on the lesson plans, but I…” Evelyn paused for so long that Helen wondered if she had hung up. “I couldn’t be around you anymore. Not with all those people around. I mean…” She chuckled derisively, but Helen didn’t think Evelyn was laughing at her. “What if someone saw the way I was looking at you?”

Helen swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Evelyn, you really think…?”

“So do you think we should start with the kinematics alone, or would that just bore everyone?”

Helen leaned against the wall; Evelyn wasn’t going to talk about her feelings. Helen sighed and managed to stagger through a stilted conversation with Evelyn about their plans for the Damage Minimization class.

Eventually they worked out when they would meet in person to work further on their co-teaching, and when they eventually met at the center to go over the detailed outline of their first class, Evelyn was still quiet and unforthcoming, no matter what Helen said. Eventually, when Evelyn shrugged off a question about whether or not she was eating for the third time, Helen reached out and rested a hand on Evelyn’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” Helen soothed when Evelyn flinched. “We’re alone.”

Evelyn closed her eyes for a moment, then turned to face Helen, eyes still closed. She only opened her eyes for half a second before leaning forward slightly to rest her forehead against Helen’s shoulder.

Helen wrapped her arms twice around Evelyn, sliding the fingers of one hand through the other woman’s hair. “This is _weird_ ,” muttered Evelyn through clenched teeth. “You’re my first break-up, and I’ve obviously never had to figure out how to maneuver a relationship with someone I used to sleep with _and_ who is married. I don’t know how to _act_.”

Helen suppressed the urge to kiss Evelyn’s hair. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I mean,” Evelyn continued as if she hadn’t heard Helen. “I _thought _you liked me. But then you blew me off at the hospital, and then you called me saying you missed me, and now we’ve been hugging for at least two minutes.”__

__“I thought you needed a hug,” said Helen because she wasn’t sure what else to say. “And I’m so sorry about how I treated you at the hospital. I was panicking, and...I know that’s not an excuse, but I’m sorry. I still want you in my life. You’re important to me.”_ _

__Evelyn made a noise that could have been a laugh or a sob. “You mean that?”_ _

__“I mean that,” Helen murmured. She thought about stepping back from their embrace, but Evelyn was still holding onto her tightly. Her hand shifted slightly on the back of Evelyn’s head as she quelled the impulse to caress Evelyn’s hair. It seemed all too easy--and tempting--to go back to the kind of physical intimacy she had shared with Evelyn while she had been without her powers. Not to mention how good it felt to have Evelyn wrapped in her stretched arms._ _

__Helen stepped back from the embrace before her thoughts could turn to less chaste forms of intimacy she had experienced with Evelyn. “You still didn’t tell me when you last ate,” said Helen._ _

__Evelyn leaned against the table upon which papers containing notes and plans were scattered. “I don’t remember, okay?”_ _

__Helen made a concerned noise in the back of her throat. “If we ordered dinner, would you eat?”_ _

__“We don’t have time.” Evelyn nodded toward the clock and Helen jumped slightly when she saw the time. “Don’t you have to get home?”_ _

__Helen hesitated. She did have to get home soon, and staying later wasn’t really an option because she had to make dinner._ _

__But thinking about making dinner for her family gave her an idea. “What if we ordered food?” Helen asked. “Crimson Pagoda isn’t far from here. If we got takeout from Crimson Pagoda, would you eat?”_ _

__Evelyn smiled wanly. “Are you this protective of all of your friends?”_ _

__“If you turned sideways and stuck out your tongue, you’d look like a zipper,” Helen protested._ _

__Evelyn sighed and pushed a hand through her already messy hair, mussing it further. “You didn’t answer my question, but fine. We’ll order out. Enough for your family and us. My treat.”_ _

__Helen smiled wearily. “You don’t have to do that.”_ _

__“I’m doing it, and I’ll eat,” Evelyn deadpanned. She picked up the phone and dialed the number for information. Helen watched her, eyeing the too-severe angles of Evelyn’s face, wondering if there was some way for her to make sure Evelyn ate enough. “What do you usually get for your family?” Evelyn asked, placing one hand over the receiver, barely looking at Helen._ _

__Helen swallowed past the increasingly frequently present lump in her throat. “General Tso’s chicken, Hunan beef, spring rolls, and mixed vegetables.”_ _

__Evelyn nodded and repeated the order into the receiver. “And one order of Szechuan-style bean curd,” she added._ _

__The food arrived only twenty minutes later. Evelyn was quiet and withdrawn, giving Helen only one-word answers to any questions except when Helen asked about Sabina. When the food showed up, Evelyn made a point of eating a few bites of her bean curd in front of Helen and said “Are you happy?”_ _

__Helen chewed her lower lip. “Evelyn…”_ _

__“You can go bring this to your family,” said Evelyn pointedly, motioning to the rest of the food._ _

__“Okay.” Helen moved to pick up the bag of food, then hesitated. “Can I hug you one more time?”_ _

__Evelyn hugged herself tightly, avoiding looking at Helen. “Okay. Fine.”_ _

__Helen walked to Evelyn, who leaned against Helen, resting her head against Helen’s shoulder and shyly placing her hands on the center of Helen’s back. Helen embraced her tightly, burying her face in Evelyn’s soft hair. Evelyn shivered. “I worry about you,” Helen murmured._ _

__“Still reciting the Mi Shebeirach for me?”_ _

__“Every night, before I recite the Shema.”_ _

__Evelyn squirmed out of the hug with a sigh. “Go home, Elastigirl.”_ _

__“Will I see you next week for lesson planning?” Helen asked, and Evelyn nodded. Helen almost asked for another good-bye hug, but instead she picked up the bag of takeout and headed back to the house that Winston had given her and her family._ _

__She thought about Evelyn the whole drive home._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to actually keep working on this one, I swear. Although I am still working on Control; I'm just having trouble with a really emotionally difficult part of chapter two.


End file.
